Wish, Hope And Tears
by Cannibal Cabbage
Summary: An alternative to New Moon, Following Bella Swan, barely coping with her breakup with Edward Cullen. After she finds out about werewolves, ExB. I don't own anything Twilightish, except a copy of the books, and my imaginary Cullen family xD
1. Chapter 1

**AN:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any books in the series :( Unfortunately.**

**First actual fanfic, slowly figuring out how it works :P**

Wish.

I lay on my small, purple bed, staring blankly at the white ceiling. It had been months since _they_ left, but I could never seem to get them out of my head –or my heart. It was like they had a large space reserved just for them, and when they –more specifically _he_- left, he took the piece in my heart with him, tearing the rest of it away too, cruelly and violently. It hurt to think about them, as though my heart –_space_- was crying out at its loss, and took it out on itself, tearing me apart, taking the rest of me down with it. Sometimes, I wished I could get over him. Just remember and smile at once was, get on with my life again. But I always knew that would be impossible, the memory they left me with was too big, too beautiful and precious. If it had to hurt, I would deal with it, those were the best times in my whole life, and they would probably never be topped. So that's why I was here now, lying lifelessly on my bed in Charlie's house. I think he was beginning to hate me being around –even as my Father. Not that he hated _me_, it was just the way I always was. I had heard him talking about me all the time, to his best friend Billy Black, to other friends who politely questioned on my wellbeing, to my _mother, _apparently I was as good as dead. My attempts to fool him into thinking I was okay were long over, nobody was fooled whatsoever.

"Bella!" He called from downstairs, a minute after the phone rang. Obviously, it was for me. I had no feeling left to wonder who it was. Sluggishly, I got up from the bed and trudged downstairs to where he was standing, phone to his ear. "Yeah, she's here now Jake. I'll put her on, yeah?" He took a moment to look me up, judging whether I looked stable enough to speak. He knew best of all, my temper had greatly increased since the... Incident. If anybody said something that hurt me, I had no aversion to getting annoyed. Though most of the time, I was screaming at myself internally whenever I was screaming at someone else, terrified of myself. Really, the hatred was only to me, I was so useless. I was no use to anybody, especially not someone as perfect as... But I'd been stupid enough to wish that one day I would be, and since that had failed, I was now even more useless. I had people sympathizing with me, when really; I didn't deserve them _before_ the Cullens.

Oh, _crap. _My knees shook together, but I lunged for the phone anyway. "Okay... Here she is." Charlie said in a resigned tone, gently handing me the phone. I carefully put it to my ear, half expecting not to hear Jacob, but instead someone reminding me of how worthless I really was. That was what my nightmares often consisted of, though the voice was always _that_ one voice, the velvet honey one... Telling me everything I knew about my life. Instead of becoming upset, I welcomed the abuse in my dream, agreeing fervently. I knew too well that the dreams were right.

I didn't know whether it was fortunate or not, but the voice on the other end of the line was indeed Jacob Black. "Hey Bella!" He said, voice forcefully cheerful. He tried really hard to help me, and though he probably knew it was worthless, I was a lost cause, he carried on, hurting himself too. Wait, I wasn't entirely useless, I was a gloom bringer. Nobody wanted to be around me. The love of my life had left me, along with my best friends, and even now, my parents were basically arguing over who would have me. At the minute, Charlie was losing.

"Hey, Jake." I rasped down the phone. The voice didn't surprise me, I'd been crying all night, and when I dreamed, I was probably screaming, like Charlie had often said I was. Plus, it was my first time using my voice today. Yup, 3 o'clock.

"How are you today?" He said in a soft, patronizing tone. A memory flashed to my head. _He_ used to say that. I keeled over, feeling like I'd been winded. Thankfully, Charlie wasn't in the room to see, though he knew things were like this.

"I'm good, thank you." I said sharply. It was my only tone that didn't sound desperately sad, as I'd recently found out. And I didn't like the patronizing.

"Great!" Jake pretended to be fooled and acted enthusiastic. He wasn't a good actor. "So... I was wondering if you wanted to come out to the beach today? I haven't seen you in ages." Once upon a time, Jake had a crush on me, and this call would have been regular, considering _they_ had left. That was a while ago, when I'd been trying to convince him I was no good for him. I was unable to love, and why should he bother? For all he knew, he'd get bored of me, like _he_ did, and it would be time wasted for him. Being a werewolf, that still had to find his imprint that was very likely. I found out he was a while ago, around the same time he tried to convince me his feelings for me were more than a crush. Luckily for him, it was just a crush, and he was now over me, in that sense. I was just his ruined friend now, someone whose life you could look down on and feel better about your own.

"Why, Jake?" I sighed. I hated being around him and making him sad.

"Like I said, I haven't seen you in aaages, and I reckoned you'd miss me." He chuckled. There were only a few people I truly missed, and they were never coming back. Before I could get upset or annoyed, I registered that he had been joking. "Seriously, you sound like you could use some company. You've had no company since..." There was a snarl at the other end of the phone as he thought about the words he couldn't say to me. It made no difference whether he growled, or said 'the Cullens never loved you, they never will, I hate them and so should you Bella.' Of course, I didn't hate them. They were very good at making up convincing lives and lies, and the lies were enough to make me feel like my life was blissful. Even though Jacob and I hadn't actually decided upon anything, in fact, he wasn't even finished growling at the Cullens he saw in his head. I slammed the phone down on its handle, hanging up. I sat down on the little wooden chair beside the phone for a couple of minutes. It wasn't Jacob's fault, he was trying to cheer me up, only had failed badly. I wondered what he was thinking now, what he thought of my ungratefulness. I was so mean to everybody nowadays. A guilty tear escaped the corner of my eye, and I picked the phone back up.

"Hello?" He mumbled, a rustling sound as he fidgeted with the phone.

"...Jake? I'll be over soon."

**AN: Don't worry, it gets better, it was just an impulsive idea of mine. I hope you like it though (: **

**Please review? Thankyouu x**


	2. Flashbacks & Surprises

La Push.

Jake was overjoyed that I was coming to see him, but to be honest; it didn't cheer me up the slightest. I remember when I used to think of Jacob as my sunshine, who could make me happy. I don't know quite what happened between us. After he found out the reasons for me doing crazy things, like going on motorbikes and cliff-diving, he became upset, understandably. I was basically using him, to hear _his_ voice. When Jacob thought I was making progress, smiling at him on his motorbike from the speeding seat of my own, it wasn't because I was forgetting them, but because I was hearing _him_ again. I would feel used. I was surprised he wanted me over again. Maybe he thought I would be a bit better, maybe he enjoyed having me around.

I briefly remembered the day we went cliff-diving, Jake's day off from hunting Victoria -a sadistic vampire intent on my death, in revenge for her own love's death. I remembered standing on the cliff's edge, the stormy weather whipping my hair around my face almost as violently as it was throwing the waves below around. I had been about to jump – alone- when I caught sight of the black, murky waters below and chickened out. I had heard _his _voice, though I could feel it hadn't got to be the best hallucination it could, and I believed it would be enough. That was when Jacob had got to me. He found me there, staring uncertainly at the sea, churning below the jagged, rocky cliff. When he came, it had made me more determined to jump, if he was there, there was a higher chance I would be safer. Not that it mattered to _me;_ it had mattered to others then. We argued there, on the very edge of the cliff, Jacob pleading me not to go, _he_ was pleading in my head for me not to go, yet my more selfish side got the better of me and I told him why I did dangerous things, then I jumped before Jacob could catch hold of my arm. Of course, he jumped immediately after me. I still got to hear the perfect hallucinations, unhindered before Jacob got me and began towing me toward the shore. And that was when our friendship began falling apart. He realized it wasn't who I was with that made me feel better, it was what we did, i.e. dangerous, adrenaline filled, hallucination filled things. He was angry; I could see him trembling slightly at every thought of the Cullens, his sworn enemies. I felt so guilty, but I didn't know what I could do.

**Flashback:**

_This was it, the ultimate hallucination activity. Plunging from a however tall cliff into the sea below. I was sure to hear that wonderful voice this time. Done wrong, this activity could be fatal. I was glad I had come alone, for some reason, the idea of having tall and burly Jake here spoiled the magic in my mind. I walked confidently –for the first time in forever- to the end of the cliff. As I walked, I was surprised I didn't fall, the wind whipped around wildly, flinging my hair all around my face, and making the trees behind me dance with the invisible force. That's when my own thought got me. Fatal. I didn't want to die, no matter how sad I was. It would hurt Charlie, Renee, Jake, and anybody else who still cared for me. I had reached the end now, walking more hesitantly. Just to prove myself right, I peered over the edge to see how far away the water looked. It looked kilometres away. And that wasn't the worst of it; the water was far from welcoming. The storm had already affected it, making it churn like it was made of the thick, disgusting mint sauce you found at The Lodge. It would swallow me in seconds, not giving me any chance of life. Though I was beginning to chicken out, the voice; the beautiful, perfect, angel voice that had been quietly pleading in the back of my mind surfaced with a new fury._

"_Don't you dare, Isabella." Said a velvet and honey, melodic voice, in an angry tone I could easily recognize. I answered him in my head, as usual._

"_I will if I want. My name's _Bella_. You loved me once, you should know." A tear fell out of my eye as I wrote that off as a lie. _

"_Just, please, _please_ don't do this!" He growled. _

"_Why should you care?" I could feel my eyes narrow, pushing another tear out. I wondered briefly why I was acting so irrationally, talking to a delusion. Then the voice, or the presence of the voice disappeared._

_"BELLA!" I heard a voice yell from behind me. I looked at my feet, then carefully spun to see Jacob standing back at where the cliff began sticking out."Wait! It's a storm! It's a storm! A storm..." He started running toward me. I stood still. Now that he was here, if anything _did_ happen to me, he could save me. For some reason, the thought of getting hurt seemed silly. Nothing would happen. I could do this, easily. And I would hear my favourite voice again._

_"The storm's not here yet, Jake!" I laughed, feeling happier than I had in a while, thinking about the upcoming delusion. He reached me then, eyes wild with panic._

_"Not today, Bells." He gently grabbed my arm. _

_I pulled away, but he didn't let go. "What?! Why not? The storm isn't here, if I hurry I'll be okay. Jake, let _go_!"_

_"Bella, I swear, tomorrow, when the weather's better and it's safer. Just, not today. It's dangerous." He still hadn't let go of my arm._

_"Exactly! Danger! I need that, Jake. Let. Me. _Go._"_

_He let go then, at the anger in my voice. His hand dropped to his side, and he looked at me with a bewildered look. "Bella... You don't need danger to have fun. Certainly not at this extent."_

_The hole in my chest was festering, it was now, or as long as it would take before the storm wore off, with the pain in my chest. I'd created the relief with the cliff-diving idea; nothing would make up for that. Plus, the way I'd acted with Jake now, if he knew I was going to try again he'd come and stop me. Now or never._

_"It's not for the fun, Jacob," I smiled sadly._

_"Then _why_?!" He flung his shaking arms in the air in anger._

_I shook my head, "It sounds crazy." I closed my eyes, "I hear him, I can hear _Edward Cullen_ when I do something dangerous. I love him too much to let my delusions go." Then I was off. Flying into the space between the sky and the sea. I heard a feral snarl, turn twisted with anger and desperation. But I ignored it, Edward's voice was so much better. It yelled and shouted in my head, but I barely paid attention to the words, just the texture; the beauty of the voice. It was the most magnificent sound in the world. I was lucky to have this voice in my head, even as a memory. I got a little impatient then, where was the water? It felt like I'd been falling forever. I opened my eyes, just to see blackness coming up to hit me in the face. I hit the water. _

_Going under, I could only slightly tell I had flipped forward underwater. It was disorientating, I had absolutely no idea where I was. For all I knew, my up was actually just going left, or worse yet, down. The tide could have been washing me up on the beach, or pulling me away into the deeper water. Lungs were screaming out for more oxygen, but I had no way of meeting their needs. The voice was frantic in my head, sounding like it would be crying, if possible. "Bella!" It cried over and over. Though I was glad to hear it, and believe he actually cared for me again, it was a little heartbreaking to hear the voice in so much pain. It was like after James attacked me, only this time, the chances of death were higher. There was no doctor here, no angelic vampire boyfriend to hold my hand. Though I'd never intended it, I was dying. And it was blissful, wonderful. From somewhere in the water, I heard a noise, louder than the constant crashing of the waves. Jacob. The voice disappeared again. It didn't care, now that Jacob was here to save me, why did I need to think it cared? _

_I'm not sure how it happened, but my life endangering situation ended, and I was on the shore. I was lying down, Jacob sitting beside me, face frantic, yet tinged with pain. He was still shaking, though not enough to make me scared he would explode, wolf style. It had finally come clear that I had been using him, and of course, he was sad. He said nothing, except ask me if I was alright a couple of times. _

_After making sure I was alright, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up to my feet. He carried on pulling me to my truck, and pushed me into the passenger seat, taking the driver's seat. I felt awful now, nothing to do with the pain in my chest, but I was guilty now. Jacob had poured his heart into helping me get better, being the best friend I could hope for, even if he wanted more than that. But I'd just abused the help he'd given me, twisting t back to stop whatever help he did do. _

_"I'm taking you home, yes?"He asked in a blank, emotionless voice. I nodded, wiping tears away before they could touch my skin. For once, he didn't look at me or notice my tears and wrap his arm around me. He concentrated on the road. _Good,_ I thought. _Get away from me while you can, Jacob. I'll end up hurting you again._ He looked down at me, sadness in his eyes. Only then, did I realize I'd spoke the words, rather than just think them. _

_"Here's your house, Bella." He mumbled. I looked up, and with quick peek at his face. He was still staring ahead, making no move to get out and go home. If he was holding onto the bridge of his nose, he would look like... No, this was Jacob Black. Nobody else. He looked at me then, pain obvious in his eyes. "I loved you, Isabella." He trembled violently, before it ceased altogether. "I thought you might, one day... Feel the same. I hoped you would, so I put all my care into you. But you obviously can't get over _him_." He shook wildly at the thought. "So things have... Changed... Bella." A tear rolled down my cheek, though I knew he was right, and I deserved this all along. He caught the tear with his thumb, and rubbed in into the chair. He got out then, throwing me the keys. Before he closed the door, he looked in at me. "Get out the car, Bella." He said coldly, turning and walking away._

**End of Flashback.**

That had been the last time I'd seen Jacob. Now I was going back to see him again, though I would have expected I would be the one trying to get Jacob to be my friend again. I got to the turn in for the reservation, and eventually, Jake and Billy's house. My truck roared to a stop by the trees, and a head peeked out of the blinds. It was Jacob, a huge grin spread across his face and he disappeared, probably to the door to come greet me. Sure enough, as soon as I was out of my rusty old Chevy, his door swung open, and he burst out.

"Bella!" I he grinned, running over to meet me. I was pulled into a bone-crushing hug, then he let go, leaving me gasping for air. He bent over to look at my face, seeing as he was now very, _very_ tall compared to me. I noticed his cheeks were rosier than normal, his dark eyes sparkled and his smile looked sincere as he looked into my face. He frowned, seeing something there he didn't like. "I'd ask how you are, but I can tell," He grimaced, but it quickly turned to a smile.

"What are you so happy about?" I said, smiling slightly, despite myself. He grinned, looking to the side a little. He leaned over and put his face by my ear. "I know this'll be a surprise to you," I knew what he was going to say.

"You _imprinted_, didn't you?" I gasped. I wasn't upset or annoyed, I was glad he could be happy. He stood up, stepped back, huge grin on his face.

"You guessed!" He laughed.

"You're not hard to read, Jake. Who is it? Is she here? Can I meet her?" I said, peering around him to look into the house. I could see the silhouette of Billy in his wheelchair, and someone beside him.

"You can, though you might already know her," He looked over his shoulder, eyes sparkling lovingly. "Jess? You coming out? My friend's here."

Jessica Stanley stepped into the doorframe, her dark curly hair in her face, she brushed it away quickly to get a better look.

"Bella!" She gasped, smiling.


	3. Confusions & Delusions

Confusions & Delusions.

It was weird, Jacob and Jessica. They both had been my best friends at one point, and I wasn't the slightest bit jealous, except maybe of the love you could feel from them. I used to have that. I had a feeling Jessica was still mad at me for ignoring her over the time the Cullens had gone, but she seemed absolutely fine about it. Funnily enough, I don't think she knew about imprinting and werewolves, though I thought Jake was allowed to tell his imprint. She did seem truly in love with him though. I got time alone with both of them, to talk. First, Jessica ran into me, squealing happily.

"Bella! Bella, Bella!" She said, hugging me. I wondered why she'd changed her feelings toward me, maybe because she'd found her true love, rather than Mike. "How are you?!" She asked, still hugging me. I hugged her back hesitantly.

"I'm great." I lied, though I could see Jacob scowl thoughtfully behind her back. "How about you?"

"Oh, I'm fabulous, Bella," She said earnestly, releasing me, though keeping hold of one of my arms. "We haven't spoken since school! We must have a catch up..." She let go of my arm and ran toward Jacob. "Bella and I are going for a walk on the beach, back soon, love you!" She hugged his waist, but he picked her up to give her a proper hug. I noticed he did this with one arm, showing off his strength, though she didn't seem to notice. She just giggled, "Put me down! I'll be back soon." Jacob tapped his cheek, raising an eyebrow. She laughed, and kissed his cheek, before he set her down.

Our walk was exactly what I expected –Jessica told me everything I'd missed from her life, plus everything I'd missed in school, being a zombie. She didn't ask me once about my life, thankfully. Maybe there _was_ something off about my face, or my expression. Jake seemed to think so. Then I had a thought. If Jacob told Jessica about werewolves, he'd have to tell her about v-the _Cold Ones_, too. And me, with them. She didn't seem to know, frowning, confused and worried as she talked about Jacob's skin temperature, how he always shook, never wore a shirt and all other kinds of werewolf oddities. She voiced her concerns about his friends to me too, saying how they all did the same. She was half way through telling me about Embry getting injured, but healing too quickly, when I had to stop her.

"Jess? Do you actually know about Jacob and his brothers- I mean pack- I mean _group_ of friends?" I asked, choosing my words carefully.

"Um... _What_ exactly about them?" She frowned. Either she was truly in the dark, or she didn't think I knew. Only then did I realize what I'd done. If Jessica truly didn't know, she wouldn't give up till she did, and it was my fault. What if Jacob wasn't _ready_ to tell her? Oh, crap.

"Never mind, Jess," I tried without hope to brush it away.

"No, tell me. What about them? Are they all right?"

"Seriously Jess, it's nothing. He'll tell you when he's ready." Damn, that was probably an even worse thing to say. She stopped walking.

"He'll tell me what? That he imprinted on me? Yeah, I know. That he's a wolf? Yeah, _I know._" She lifted her sleeve to show a scratch mark on her arm, just below her elbow. "When we first met, he was a wolf, see it's much stronger then. He got pissed, 'cause he thought he imprinted on someone else-" I had a feeling who-"and tried to get rid of me thinking he was truly in love with this other girl, no matter about the imprint. But the imprint thing stopped him, not before he gave me these scars." She smiled sadly, stroking them.

"And you still love him?" I asked, though not surprised, Emily –Sam, the Alpha of the pack's imprint- had gone through worse. He wrecked her face, and broke her cousin's heart.

Jessica was as informed as I'd feared. "And you still love _him?_ Your bloodsucker?!" Though I was worried that she would know, it still took me by surprise; I couldn't answer. A fiery hole ripped through my chest when I remembered how Jessica used to act around him, seeing the two in one picture. "Yep, I know it. And I know that there is still some ferocious blood-sucking woman out there, trying to hurt my Jake to get to _you!_ All because your little leech family left you. Goodness knows how I curse yours –and Edward's name every time Jake's out there, protecting _you_, after what you did to him." That stung too much, though I knew it was true. I was incredibly grateful to Jacob for saving me on countless occasions, and guilty of what I had done, despite him saving me. If I could build up the courage, I would walk right up to Victoria, and let her do her business and be done with me. Plus, there was the pain of hearing _that_ name again, ripping through me. I felt like I needed to faint, the same way I did when there was blood around... The same way I did in Biology class, that time so long ago...

You could barely call it collapsing; I fell neatly onto the sand, lying on my back as though I'd planned it. "I can't believe you." Jessica fumed, getting angrier by the minute. I guess it was deserved. "Though my boyfriend is out there protecting your life, you can do nothing but wish for your darling family to come back to you, and weeping when you remember they won't. Because they are cold, _heartless_, emotionless _leeches!_" She shrieked, throwing her hands in the air.

"You're right Jess. I'm so sorry." I whispered, meaning every word, yet unable to think properly.

"Piss off, Bella." She said without emotion, walking back toward Jacob's house. I stayed where I was, arms spread out at my sides, letting the rain fall on me. I briefly wondered what the world would be like without me in it. Victoria would of course, stop hunting me, so Jacob and his pack wouldn't need to hunt her anymore. Charlie and Renee wouldn't have a depressed, lifeless teenager on their hands. The Cullens, I doubted they would be affected, but at least they wouldn't need to be away from Forks, if they didn't want to. They wouldn't have the worry of running into dull human Bella again. Back at school, after the holidays, people wouldn't need to keep pretending they felt sorry for me. And what about me? I wouldn't need to be in this life anymore, not upset others with my depression, not need to feel the pain, not have others watch what they say around me. I wouldn't have to live this life of loss anymore.

Jacob –and my hallucination- found me then. I could hear the desperate anger coming from my dream-Edward, and also Jake's confusion as to what had happened. "Bells? Bella honey, what happened with you and Jess? I thought you two were friends?" He paused for a minute, since I didn't respond. I liked the feeling of lifelessness now, I guess. It was appealing. "She just stormed into my house, really mad. Was it because of the... the wolf... and other supernatural thing?" He chose his words carefully; he knew that any other description could tear me apart. He didn't know that it wouldn't really affect me at this minute, for I was still being dead. There was no response again. He sighed, seeing it would be a one-sided conversation. "I'm so, _so _sorry, Bella. I didn't know what else to tell her, she got all worried about me and the gang, and Sam said I should tell her, and I couldn't tell her about wolves without telling her about... Y'know." He squinted at me, before looking away, pain filling his eyes. "You're really not okay, are you, honey?" My hallucination was still angry and upset, and the more I focused on the wordless snarls and cries, the more lifelike they became. There appeared to be movement, close to where Jacob was crouching. My eyes flashed to the space, to see my delusions had taken a stronger form. There he was, in all his beauty and glory, yet only as a ghost. I wasn't strong enough to see all his perfection, just a basic picture of him.

His eyes sparkled sadly, then he smiled. My eyes darted to his mouth. "I don't love you, Bella," The honey voice whispered, slicing through me, worse than anything anybody could ever say to me. The cold air caught in my lungs, and I couldn't breathe out. I could feel tears flowing to my eyes, faster than anything else. Oh, how I knew it was right. How I knew also, it was a delusion; a mirage, only it showed what I _didn't _want to see. It was a mirage of truth, something I was too stupid to accept. I could feel my heartbeat slow, and I felt like I was sinking into the sand. Jacob noticed, and he began to panic. My eyes flashed back to him, and though I knew there was no way I could stop him, I wanted desperately to tell him to leave me alone, not to save me, _again._

It was useless, he reached out for my hand, "Bella," He said in a pained voice, smiling sadly. He grabbed my hand gently, but I was off. At what I wished could be vampire speed, I got up and started to run away. And, what I wished would be vampire grace, but it failed. I fell over, only just managing to put my arms up to protect my face on time. "Bella!"Jake yelled as I scrambled up again, letting my tears flow carelessly. I knew he would run after me, so I tried to run as fast as I could, no matter how useless it would be against him. I got to my car, with seconds to spare before he got me. I slammed the door in his face, tears streaming so freely now as I remembered everything, even things my heart didn't have the power to. "Bella!" Jake shouted, pulling on the car door handle, which I'd just managed to lock. "Don't do this... Bella! Please.." He banged one hand on the window, not hard enough to shatter it, and left it there.

"I've hurt you." I whispered, though he would hear it. I remembered all the crimes I'd committed against his happiness, all the things I'd done to him. "I don't want to again. You have Jessica, be happy, Jake." I smiled, pushing the keys into the ignition and starting the car. How ironic would it be now if my car wouldn't start?

It did, and I was out of La Push as quickly as I could. I had surprised myself today, especially with all my dangerous thoughts, and how quickly I had got away from them. Sheesh, my life was turning into a bit of a drama. I got home before Charlie; though I had no idea where he'd went. Fishing, probably. As I stepped in the door, I stood on a little white sheet, folded up neatly. I opened it as I walked through to the living room.

Bella.

You will probably have a good idea who this is, but soon enough, that won't matter. Normally, I don't have this style when I'm set on doing something, but James got me into it with his ways, so why not? As you know, you have your mongrel friends after me, all the time. That's getting a little tiring, don't you think? Eventually, I may get mad and SNAP. Oh, I could easily finish them off and get to you, but it's just not my way, you see? It wasn't James' either. You can see I miss him, so I will enjoy my revenge, you can't imagine how much. Basically, it's you – or your doggy friends. Come looking for me, and you know I'll find you, and be off again, without having to damage any werewolf, see I don't really want to have to bother. But, if I have to, Bella, I WILL. Make no doubt. Hopefully, see you soon. Victoria.

And, just like that, I knew the future. I didn't need to be Alice. I winced at the name, but the pain was coated in relief. It would be over soon, and that family especially wouldn't miss me.


	4. Plans & Makeup

It seemed silly and irrational, but Victoria had struck at her opportune moment. There was no reason left to my life anymore, not even to spare any loved ones grief. It wouldn't really matter to them now, no matter who, or how long they were sad about me, there would always be a lingering relief. It wouldn't be any different for a lot of them. Charlie and I hardly spoke anymore; he was too scared in case he mentioned something wrong, I was afraid of getting angry at him, and of feeling the icy knives in my chest at the mention of something upsetting. Renee and I only ever talked by email now, as it made her sad hearing my lifeless voice down the phone. And even with emails, responses were few and far between each, I'm not sure why. Jake... I hardly ever saw him, and after today, I doubted we would meet up again anytime soon.

An image of a large white mansion appeared in my head. That was enough to trigger a thought. The Cullens? Pfft, they wouldn't care. Neither did I. As a human, I would die eventually, once my life had run its course. As far as I was concerned, it already had finished. I wasn't living; I was merely _surviving._

I had no idea how long I'd been sitting in the living room, staring blankly at the wall, but by the time I'd finalized my decision and thought through all my plans, Charlie got home. "Bella, honey?" I never normally answered, so I didn't today either. Just, the way he said it reminded me of Jacob. I wanted to cry, but I held it in –for now. He walked into the small doorway, fishing gear in hand. Taking in my blank expression, sitting here in the rising gloom, he sighed and went to put his things away. He shuffled back through a minute later, without getting changed, and sat down on the sofa. Then, he grabbed the remote and switched the TV onto the sports channel, expecting me to walk out the room. It was baseball, the only sport I'd been sensitive to watching, remembering the Cullens playing was something out of this world. As rubbish as _I _was at the sport, I could almost laugh watching the humans running with all their might round the court, yet seeming to get nowhere. One of the on-screen players hit the ball, and instead of hearing the soft clunk of the collision, I remembered the thunder cracking. The opposition ran –almost slowly- after the ball, and a far away player caught it in the end. He seemed pleased with himself as his team members cheered him on, patting him on the back as he passed by. I could only seem to see my favourite family, that night. _He_ had just caught the ball from far, far away in the woods, and there was so much triumph on his face, it could have pushed his features off. Such a careless happiness, how it seemed he loved me then, too.

"Bella..." Charlie was looking at me, rather than the screen for a change. His eyes were panicked and sad. "You can go upstairs if you want, honey. Or I can change the channel; you don't need to watch this." I blinked at him, feeling puddles of moisture all over my shirt and more ran down my cheeks at this simple movement. I scrubbed them away, but more seemed to fall in their place. Now was probably the best time, since the tears were falling anyway. I let a small portion of the pain I'd been concealing out, just enough to scare Charlie, though he was probably already scared, even at this small amount of tears. I put both the heels of my hands, covered with my sleeves, to my face and let more tears fall.

"I- I miss them... I miss them... So MUCH!" I wailed. This surprised him, of course. He was used to me being bottled up and crying when he wasn't there. I could feel him flutter uselessly around me.

"It's-it's okay, Bella, i-it's okay," I couldn't actually stop crying now, though I tried my hardest only to think of the less volatile memories, others soon floated into my head... The meadow... That terrible first day when he left me in the forest...

Charlie had wrapped his arms around me, in desperation to make me stop crying. They acted like floodgates, no more memories got through, just thoughtless sobs acted. "Y'know, when your Mum left me, I went through the same thing."

I looked up at him, eyes still streaming. We didn't talk about Mum and him together much, or at all for that matter. "You did?" I whispered, acting a tiny bit.

He nodded, "Yeah..." He sighed, "I actually went to the psychologists, but to be honest, it didn't help much."

"Then why did you suggest I go if it didn't help you?"

"Bells, honey. It's been _months_. That's a little too long to be natural." He frowned, obviously thinking of- "You'll get better though, I promise." He murmured suddenly.

I got up then, it was hard to be with Charlie, especially knowing I was going to die tonight. "I love you Dad." I whispered, looking him right in the eyes. It was difficult; a tear was raging to get free.

"Love you too, Bells," He smiled sadly, "Now I think you should get some sleep, with those nightmares it's best to get as many hours as possible."

"Okay. I need to call Jake first," My voice broke several times in that one sentence. I dashed to the phone, dialling quickly. There was an answer on the third ring. "Jacob?" I gasped.

"No, it's Billy, shall I get Jacob for you?" A deep, rumbling voice said on the other line. I shuddered.

"No, but if you could just pass a message to the pack," I looked around nervously, but realised that Charlie wouldn't hear. "Tell them not to hunt for Victoria anymore, she's leaving. Could you please tell them that?"

Billy sounded confused, "Uh, okay sure, Bella. Are you sure that's for the best? I mean they still haven't got her... And she's set on getting to-"

"Yes, Billy, just please make sure they do, okay?"

"Okay. Actually, here's Jake now! Want me to put him on?"

"No Billy, please don't!" I wouldn't be able to bear Jacob's voice, now it was definite I was leaving. I hung up the phone as Billy handed it to Jacob. The main idea was to keep him and the pack away, not bring them back closer to me.

Renee. It wasn't necessary to make contact with her now, but I felt like I had to. I had to let her know that though I may have been about to die, I still loved her. I walked upstairs, dragging my feet. My dusty old computer was in my room as always. I switched it on, fidgeting as it loaded. I kept the email short, not even daring to look at any of the letters she'd sent me.

_Dear Mom,_

_I want you to know that I truly love you, no matter what happens._

_Lots of love, Bella xxx_

Okay, it was a little suspicious, but who would care? In a few hours time, Victoria could have her fun killing me, more than likely drain me too. I shuddered, but realized I would rather die because of a vampire's physical actions, rather than the mental memory another left behind, tearing me apart from the inside out.

Renee must have been online; as I began shutting down the windows I'd opened, I got a reply.

_Bella, _

_I don't know what to think, I hardly ever get contact with you, now you mail me telling me you love me? It's heart-warming honey, but it makes me suspicious, is something wrong?_

_Love, Mom xxx_

I didn't reply. I don't think I would have been able to, the tears streaming down my face were probably further indication that any attempts wouldn't work._ I love you, Mom, Dad, Jake, everyone from school,_ I said in my head, though it still made me choke, and my eyes to well up with tears, thinking the names that mattered most. _Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice._ I scrunched my eyelids together. _Edward Anthony Masen Cullen._ The breath I'd been holding whooshed out of me, obviously, no matter how long I had left in this world, I would always love him to the point it hurt.

I have no idea how long I lay on my bed, waiting for it to be late enough. It was probably a couple of hours, before I began to wonder why I was bothering to wait. Victoria would be waiting for me all the time; I would never find her 'unavailable'. Plus, it was dark enough now, too. Perhaps the only problem was I couldn't think of a suitable excuse to give Charlie for me stepping out so late. I didn't want to say I was going to Jake's, or Angela's or anyone else's, that would just be sucking them into my death, if there was any investigations, which I'm sure there would be. He wouldn't let me 'just go for a drive'; especially in the state I was now. The window it was. I had seen vampires do it hundreds of times, though I was certainly no vampire. It seemed simple enough, and what wrong could a broken bone do, when I was heading for death? Maybe incapacitate me, but it didn't look high enough to do that.

I had never been one for trying to look pretty, but for some reason I found myself staring through watery eyes at myself in the mirror. I was holding in my right hand one of the many eyeliners Renee had bought me on several occasions, just in case I woke up caring about my appearance more. I actually felt like a bit of a danger to myself at the minute. Never once had I done my own makeup -Alice always did it on the occasions I was her doll- and I guess trying to do it through streaming eyes wasn't the best plan. Nonetheless, I forced my hand to bring the sharp, dangerous looking pencil to my eye. _Jab._ I pulled back, blinking furiously. The tears that had been saving up in my eyes flooded out, though they didn't seem to inflict the red, puffy face they normally would. I tried again, remembering the way Alice had done it for me. Another tear threatened to ruin my work as I thought of the fun we had, or at least I _thought _we had. Eventually, I did what I could be bothered to, and spent my final moments in this house, and my life. I looked around my room. Everywhere I could see regret. Why hadn't I spent more time here? Why hadn't I spoken to Mom more? Why hadn't I stayed up that much longer, to appreciate _him_ more? I could feel the hole in my chest, creating tears in my eyes. No, the makeup was an incentive not to cry, not even at the end. That was superficial, I know, but I didn't want to show her how much pain I was in, she'd enjoy it that much more. Or if she saw that the pain wasn't inflicted by her, would she kill me? I didn't know for sure. Either way, I opened my window, same as when I waited for Edward. Only this time, I was going out. I stood on my toes on the low windowsill, and clumsily leapt –stumbled- out into the cold.


	5. Taunting Vicky

The ground was rough when I landed, and I fell into a crouch, automatically making the muddy ground come up to my face. _Out with a bang, Bella, out with a concussion._ I thought sarcastically, scolding my clumsiness. I staggered up, and looked quickly back at the house. Had Charlie heard anything? I didn't think he would, so it was no surprise when I couldn't see him looking around. I turned back and began walking to the forest, the same way... we had went, the day, when he **left me.** I felt a cold chill, and it had nothing to do with the wind.

The feeling continued as I walked along the path, seeing everything I saw then, still as twisted and fearsome as before. I knew part of me –most of me- wished to be found by a particular someone, and wake up from a bad dream. But the breeze felt too real, my reactions were too real, and the fear I could feel in the air was almost tangible. It wasn't pleasant, I imagined this was how Jasper would feel. I stopped walking, meaning just to stop my thoughts, but my legs stopped there too. Suddenly, the atmosphere changed, and I decided I didn't want to keep walking; I wanted to keep thinking about that family.

"Bella," a high, polite voice said from the shadows. I realized why I didn't want to keep going now, suicidal instinct. I chuckled darkly at that thought. Victoria thought I was laughing at her. She stepped out of the shadows, alone, of course. Her face was twisted, with pain or anticipation I wasn't sure about. There was traces of both; the pain at the loss of James, and the anticipation of killing me. Either way, she looked insane. "I _am_ glad to see you; I half expected to have to hunt you down after getting those damned wolves." She laughed, slightly hysterically. Suddenly, her features became serious; she glared at me from behind her flowing, flaming red hair. "You know why I am here." It wasn't a question, rather a statement. I nodded once, mimicking her mood. She explained anyway. "You see, we _vampires_ obviously don't take it too well when their loved one is taken away from them. It can affect us differently; some drown their sorrows in careless life, some get over it, most though, go for _revenge._"

"That's rather weak of you, isn't it?" I said, giving up every survival instinct I had. I didn't want to show how hypocritical that was, but of course, her wild, catlike maroon eyes missed nothing.

"Perhaps. Are you not weak too, then?" Suddenly, she was behind me, lips at my ear. "Now that your Cullen family, along with _dear Edward,_" She said the name with a growl, I could see that was where her main anger was directed at. Of course, he had killed James. Obviously, Victoria's planning had started at the time Edward still 'loved' me, and she was so set on it now. "Have left you, you care for nothing? You sacrifice yourself for those who clearly have a high chance against me, a lonely vampire pining for her dead love?"

I frowned, "You mean the wolves?"

"Obviously, Bella," She chuckled, still at my ear. She ruffled my hair playfully. "How dense are you? There are too many of them to fight me, yet you think that by killing yourself, you will save them? They were in no danger. This blindness to the obvious shows me that you too are _weak._ And weakness is dangerous for a human." She laughed, despite the menace in it; it was a beautiful sound, like all vampire voices. "Don't worry, dear. I went through it for a while. Nearly died because of it too. But will I tell _you_ of _my_ weakness?" She walked away from me, finger to her chin, dramatically thoughtful.

"I guess you just did," I laughed, mockingly. Love, and depression –mainly the latter- had driven me crazy. No matter how brave I wanted to be, Victoria would drag the end out for as long as possible, more painful now she knew how to make it hurt more. My blood was my only ally at the minute. If it was shed before the extreme pain, she would kill me before that would happen.

She frowned. "I don't know who you expect to save you, the way you're acting, but they won't be able to."

"Nobody is coming for me." I whispered, thankful, "I told them not to, that you had left."

"And you think they will believe you?" She pursed her lips.

"If they don't, I'm sure your business will be done, and you'll be off before they can take any action upon you."

"Oh no, Bella," She grinned, looking even crazier now, "We have too much in store for you to hurry this. See, that's why I love humans, there are so many ways to kill them. I can be _so_ creative. Don't you think that'll be fun?"

"Not really, but I don't have a choice in the matter, do I?"

"No. Well actually... You do, if you're able to _raise the dead!"_ She shrieked, making me flinch. She had obviously snapped under the pain of losing James, like I had, with...

"I can't but I could try raising the stupid, it may work." I shrugged, trying not to laugh, while my brain was screaming out in protest. Though I wasn't scared –apart from my brain- my heartbeat rose, beating painfully into the hole in my chest. A wild, vicious snarl erupted from her throat and she lunged at me in rage. I was maybe _too_ confident, arrogant. I stepped to the side, but she got me, knocking me to the wet ground. She continued shrieking, the sound tearing through the air, making the short silences sound weird. She lashed out at me, punching and hitting my face, not with the force of a vampire, but enough force to give me bruises. I wondered when she was actually going to start to kill me, or at least torture me; at the minute she was just venting her anger. I hoped it would be soon, so I didn't say anything, it would just cause her more anger, and longer she would go on beating me. I kept my eyes shut tight, and didn't let a sound escape my mouth. After a few minutes, there was a breeze, and the punches and slaps stopped. I opened my eyes, slowly as it appeared one was badly swollen. She was back where she was before she lunged at me, her eyes were fierce, and her breathing was ragged as she glared at me. I raised a hand hesitantly to my cheek; the skin was raw, like a whole layer had been ripped off.

She took a deep, unnecessary breath before speaking. "See? See what happens when a mortal makes me angry?" She yowled in fury, sounding like a cat.

"Just kill me, already," I said apathetically. "You're making this awfully boring. That wasn't even how strong you could go,"

"That's because I would have shattered your skull," She said, shaking with anger.

"Exactly, _get on with it._" Though I was beginning to acknowledge the pain, in my cheek and upcoming pain, I knew nothing could hurt me more than what I'd done to myself, the realization of what I was like, the perfect understanding as to why I was unwanted.

"So, you want death? Wow, I knew I'd get you to beg eventually, but I didn't think it'd be so soon." She smirked

I shrugged, "I'm not begging, I wanted to die long before I even got your note." Her smirk faded.

She thought for a moment, "Well... What if I didn't fill your request, if I just tortured the hell out of you, and left you?"

"Would you really be satisfied with just that?" I whispered sceptically.

"Maybe. It does sound appealing... We'll just have to find out." She lunged at me again, though this time I stood entirely still. I could see she didn't expect this at first, but she still collided with me, rock meets pillow. She grabbed both my arms and with a feral snarl, she twisted them both. I could feel them break at the elbow joints, and couldn't restrain a yelp. She was sitting on my stomach, and once she was done with my arms, she put her hands swiftly behind her back. "Want to see your feet?" She snarled, grabbing my legs below the knee. She pulled one leg up slowly, exerting strain on the joint. "No, I want you to walk." She said coldly. Suddenly, she flung my leg down, letting go of both. Little did she realize, when she shoved my leg back to the ground, it smashed my heel bone, causing the skin to split. I couldn't contain a scream. She froze, eyes widening. "Oh crap, I'm going to have to..." She trailed away, sniffing the air; hearing the trickling from my foot. My scream died away, and I watched her. Thank goodness it was over. Maybe death was better than I ever imagined. I didn't know whether I hoped so or not. Of course, it could never be perfect, _he _could never die; _he_ could never be with me there. I was extremely thankful of this fact. I didn't know whether Victoria would go to my wound, or just create another. She grabbed one of my broken arms, and I squeaked pitifully as she did. She bit straight into my wrist, right where my artery was. Of course, there was the best blood flow there, and she was only thinking for the thirst in her throat now. I didn't actually feel her teeth plunge into my skin, or anything afterwards. It was like I was just a spectator in my own body; not really there. I watched as some shadows came, and I saw Victoria's eyes narrow. I wondered what was causing her anger now. I almost felt angry toward whatever it was too –I wasn't dead yet. They couldn't stop her from doing her job. She looked like she wanted to get off me and go to the towering shadows, but she was stuck to me, unable to pull her teeth away. That was when I saw the shadows move, and a light disturbed one of them. It was a warm, glowing light, like a candle. Who had come to confront Victoria with a candle? I couldn't make sense of it, even taking a step back out of the real world. And worse yet, why was Victoria afraid o the candle? Her eyes widened in fear, and I could lightly feel movement, from further down of my brain, an arm possibly. Victoria had dropped my arm. It sent vibrations up to my space of reverie as it hit the ground. I wanted desperately to see the shadows, who –what- were they? But that would mean being real, being alive again, and I couldn't risk that physical pain. I had a useless, tingling hope, but I don't think I could elaborate much further than _that family_ without the combinations of hurt following me forever. Anyway, I knew it wasn't them, they wouldn't come for me. Why the hell should they?

"Isabella Swan?" A very, _very _frightened voice whispered. I didn't recognise the voice, and the curiosity was too much to bear. I stepped into the window of reality, to hear two screams, one several times higher pitched than the other. I realized, the other was my own.

**AN: Come on folks, review? Pleeeeeeeeease? I really want to know if what I'm writing is good or not, if it's worth it, cause I like writing it :P I don't mind critisism! Seriously, please...? xD Thankyouu, x **

**Rachee. (:**


	6. Peaceful Pain

It had not yet occurred to me that I hadn't heard my delusion throughout my time with Victoria. I wanted to hope it was because he was here now, but I knew it wasn't even worth hoping. Though, there was _someone_ with me, or _some ones_, as I was unsure of how many shadows there had been. When I had come back to the world, my own screams hit me hard –they absolutely terrified me. I had been scared before, I had been broken before, but never like this. Why couldn't I have just died already?! I cursed the shadows for stopping Victoria from killing me, this was much worse. I didn't want to be awake now, I didn't want to get better. I had shut my eyes again, though I stayed in the world, listening and feeling. Apart from the pain I felt all over; from my arms, particularly my left one, my leg joints, my heel, internally, surprisingly, there was other feeling I was somehow more aware of. The wet, mossy grass underneath me, the rain falling lightly on my skin, cooling it, the chilly breeze. They would have made me smile, if it weren't for the pain. It was rising all over me now, like someone had put a gas cooker inside me and left it full heat. My blood seemed to be boiling. Apart from my insides, the rest of me was beginning to go rather numb. It wasn't at all a pleasant feeling, and I briefly wondered if I'd started screaming again. I listened hard. I could hear my pulse, loud in my ears, pushing the burning blood through my veins. I could hear the rain, splashing on everything it touched. It must have been raining for a while then. I could hear the breeze I felt; only it didn't sound like a breeze, but more of a gale force wind. Through that, I could hear wildlife, the trees were of course swaying, shaking their leaves at the wind, but I could also hear the quiet murmur of animals. Birds were singing, but that was the only distinct sound. I could hear a lively whisper, but I wouldn't be able to say a certain sound was a squirrel, or any other animal. Just the birds. There was my breathing, too. Though it was close, it was quiet. I would have expected to be breathing quickly, raggedly, feeling like this, but it was calm, peaceful, just like the atmosphere. There was more breathing nearby, too. And a heartbeat. I wanted to frown. Who; or what? It didn't sound as calm, threatening to ruin my peace. I ignored it. The identity posed too many questions too, none that I could be bothered to find out.

Suddenly, there was a fierce, sharp pain in my left arm. I shrieked in pain, but more in surprise. "STOP IT! STOP IT!" I could hear someone scream, it spoiled my atmosphere, the birds stopped singing, and the lively whisper died away. It wasn't a nice sound, it was blood-curdling. I wanted to shiver. My face hurt, as did my throat, like I'd been screaming. Ah, it was me. I didn't know I was capable of such a horrible noise. I didn't care, though. As long as I got to stay here, oblivious, just listening and feeling my own little piece of peace and freedom. Death would be better, sure, but something had saved me. And I was sure that something was the thing next to me, breathing. I noticed it again, it's breathing hitched when I'd screamed, but I could sense no movement. It seemed to be at least several feet away from me. The pain had not yet gone away, but I was slightly more used to it, and when it spiked, I didn't feel the need to scream again.

Victoria. I wondered what had happened to her. My saviour, in a silly way. As far as I knew, she had created all my pains. If only she'd been left to do the job... Had she ran away, or did someone get rid of her. I didn't care either way. It was too late now for her to kill me, so I didn't mind.

From somewhere around me, I became hyperaware of an irregular rustling of tree leaves. Soon enough, I knew someone was coming toward us. "Oh my god," said a girly -but not as high pitched, babyish as Victoria's- voice. "Wha-what the hell happened?" I didn't recognize the voice, but it triggered something. The desire to see who the voice came from was lost to me, and even if I wanted to open my eyes and look at her I doubted I actually could.

Someone took a deep breath; the person who had saved me –or damned me, I hadn't decided yet. "She can probably hear you, you know." He murmured sadly. I couldn't put a name, or a face to the voice, but I was sure I knew it. The girl walked around me to the boy, giving me a wide berth.

"You've been here for days, Jake," She wailed when she was beside him. Jake... Nope, the name meant nothing. I could think of Victoria, the... the Cullens –though that hurt, and I could remember why- vaguely my parents... Charlie. And Renee. But there was barely anyone else in my mind. It must have had something to do with the lack of sight.

"Only two..." He said in a voice which sounded like he'd seen the horrors of the world... Disturbed, that was the word.

"More like three. Or it will be, in a few hours." There was a long silence, and I could almost feel eyes burning on me. "What happened?" The girl whispered, her voice cracked.

"We... we were too late." The boy's voice cracked too. I wondered what was so sad about the peaceful area. With their sight, it must have been luxurious to them. Jealousy flamed in the back of my throat, stinging like sandpaper. Maybe they were in pain, too. Guilt filled my mind for feeling so angry toward them. _But at least they could move._

"What, the redhead...?" The girl said with venom in her tone. I didn't need to see her to feel that her eyes had narrowed. I guessed she meant Victoria –that crazy, angered face I could think up easily.

"Yes." The boy's voice whispered, sounding more like a broken man than a boy. I presumed he was, and the 'girl' was a young woman. It was hard to tell with such a limited perspective. What did he mean? Victoria had got away, or I was here dying, and they knew I didn't want anything done about it?

"What will happen now?" The woman asked, a tear rolled down her face –heavier, and therefore faster than a raindrop- and onto a piece of clothing with a loud noise. Was she wearing tin foil?! My mind swirled.

"I don't know. I have never seen it happen." The man said, detached, even haunted. "We wait and see."

"What about... what about her family? Do they think she's-"

"I don't know, we will think of something, if we must." His tone was formal, I wondered who these people were to each other, especially when I heard them hug, and someone –the woman I presumed- was crying. He stroked her hair comfortingly. The hair was curly; I could hear that from the way his hand slid down it –if it were straight, the sound would have been smoother, continuous. Already, I had a picture in my head of the two, though most of it was imagination. I needed it though, especially when curiosity burned more than boiling blood. Which was not feeling too great, by the way. It felt like it was burning, then numbing a millimetre of me every time it reached that spot. After a few of my fingers had been entirely numbed, I couldn't move them. Not that I'd tried to move beforehand. Other than my mouth and my voice box, I was essentially doing nothing. For what the man had said to be 2 days!? What had happened? Somebody please help me out of the dark here.

I heard shuffling in the grass. The man hadn't moved, other than to stop hugging the woman. She was walking closer, slowly and hesitantly. I could hear her heartbeat, it was going insane. With pain, fear, excitement? "Jess!" The man's tone had changed from lifeless sorrow to extreme alarm. Jess... Maybe. I was as unsure of this name as I was of the other.

"You said she could hear me? She might need comfort. Neither of us knows how this feels, she could be in _pain_ for all we know." She spoke confidently, but had stopped walking out of uncertainty. She was right about the pain, definitely.

"Jess, it isn't safe. We know that much." He spoke with authority now, though the alarm was still there, with an undertone of sadness.

Jess laughed uncertainly as she spoke, "She has almost a full day before anything can happen. Let me sit with her. She was – maybe is- my friend." Apparently, Jess and I were friends, sometime. Almost a full day?! _Please come and sit with me, Jess, whoever you are._ I wanted to say. But I was scared; at the minute, my voice box was slowly being burned and numbed, burned and numbed. Either no sound would come out, or I would shriek out again. Plus, my throat hurt, like crazy. Jealousy doesn't cause burning... Does it?

Jess crouched beside me, about a metre away. The man called Jake seemed to be hyperventilating behind her, still he hadn't moved. She was scared too, her breathing wasn't as quick as his, but it was still fast enough to make me think she feared something. Could it be me?

"Bella?" She whispered, choking the name out. Bella? That name I recognized, but I didn't know where from. Isabella Marie Swan... Was there someone here other than Jess, Jake and I? Come to think of it, who was I? I remembered. I was Bells, Isabella, Miss Swan; Bella. _I _was Isabella Marie Swan. Jess was talking to me. She hadn't said anything else yet. "Are you okay, Bella? All Jake can tell me is that Victoria, the red-headed...vampire... got to you first."

So I _was_ dying. As if she knew my thoughts, Jess carried on. "They say you die... That you're _dying_. That was originally all of the Quileute legends I bothered to believe, once somebody bit you and... dined upon your...blood," She shivered, "That you would die. Don't die, Bella. No matter what I said the other day, I never want to lose you as a best friend. You're –were- the only normal girl who I could've talked to about... Supernatural freaks," She giggled nervously. The puzzle –apart from their identities and my surroundings- was put together there.

Victoria bit me, but didn't kill me.

The coating on her teeth, the venom had been washed away into my bloodstream, where it would eventually begin on killing me. Making me immortal, a vampire, I mean. Thousands of different emotions coursed through me then, happiness, terror, anger, dread, there were even some new ones, ones I couldn't explain. Of course, they were all washed out by pain. Anywhere and everywhere on and in me, like two-sided matchsticks had been lit inside me, and I'd been covered in boiling hot tar. It felt like somebody pulled the scratching sandpaper out of my throat, but sharply, painfully. Along with it, came the plug to stop me from making a sound. I screamed my heart out. Jess had run away back to Jake. The noise upset me, too. Eventually, I managed to make it stop. Greater pains begun to hurt more and more. My heart was killing me –literally- as it tried to push blood, thick with venom around my body. I had no idea it would be able to stand a full conversation about a particular Cullen, never mind push blood around like that. It was slowing, for sure. But the pain was increasing. A final inferno, every part that had numbed earlier was being burned, several times in a minute. This burn was more painful, every second I wished it would go away, and leave me in my blind, oblivious happiness. It got worse and worse, my pulse slower and slower.

As a finale, or my body just deciding to screw around with my understanding, my heart sped up. It grew stronger, very strong; too strong. Vampires don't have heartbeats. Secondly, broken hearts aren't strong. The pain was becoming too much then, too violent and I didn't think I'd last. I'd just managed to articulate a 'K', for _Kill me now, please_, when all of a sudden, there was a loud, deafening _thump_, then nothing. Not even my heartbeat. I was finished. I heard the movement of Jake's head. Had he heard it too? How? Was he a vampire..... Vampires don't have heartbeats, he did. Surely, it was just a coincidence he looked up at the same time. If he wasn't a vampire, how did he know about them? This was dangerous. If I'd learnt anything while with the Cullens, it was that the secret couldn't just be told to anyone, for some reason I was an exception.

A rancid smell hit my nose, like moss, or damp, or rot. It wasn't the grass. I shot up, moving for the first time in what felt like forever, to see my surroundings. A dark forest. Two people were sitting together in the grass, far from me. The dark didn't bother me; I could see their features perfectly. I was right about Jess' curly hair –it was dark brown curls, they were very pretty. Jake, I recognized the face too, but they didn't fit together. He wasn't looking at me, But Jess saw.

"Jacob," She whispered, looking pointedly at me, also looking terrified. JACOB! The name and face fit! Jacob Black, Billy Black's son, and Ephraim Black's grandson. A werewolf. I arranged my face in what I hoped would be a smile.

"Jake!" The bell voice sounded delighted, at least. I still didn't recognize Jess... yet. Jacob looked at me, and I waited for the sunshine smile.

I got a cold glare.

**Review, Pretty please?  
Thankyouu x**

**Rachee (:**


	7. Understanding & Acceptance

I stared at the two in front of me for a moment, confused. "J-Jake?" I whispered, bewildered by his cold response to me. "What... what happened?"

He continued to glare at me, as though I had just insulted him. I jumped to my feet fluidly, taking a couple of seconds to marvel at the motion. I wasn't clumsy anymore. I smiled, before looking back at Jake, and the girl, Jess. She had leaned back, away from me a little and he was holding her tighter against his chest. They were afraid of me. I put my hand to my cheek, slowly and carefully. It was the same one Victoria had slapped raw, but all I felt was smooth, hard skin. There used to be a spot there, too. I could feel my eyes widening in shock. I was actually a vampire. I didn't know if I wanted this now, without the Cullens –it surprised me the name still hurt- but I had wanted it for so long, I couldn't be too picky.

I could hear a noise coming from them, other than their heartbeats and breathing, there was a rumbling sound. Jake was _growling_ at me. I didn't think it through – I couldn't help myself. I leapt forward at vampire speed, crouching beside Jake. "Please! Tell me what happened?!" I basically begged. I heard a snarl just as I spoke, and they were far away, at a tree opposite me, still staring at me. Jess was behind Jacob, but she peered curiously under his arm. I stayed where I was, on my knees. I'd become a monster to them, they didn't want to be near me. "I'm so sorry, Jacob." I whispered, looking down in shame and sadness. I would cause him so much trouble, no doubt I already had.

"We should help her, Jacob." Jess said with confused eyes. I didn't know whether she knew what she was saying or not. She was a human; wanting to comfort a _new, wild_ vampire. She was human. Surely, so young I would have went for her by now, or at least wanted to? I could smell her blood from here, but I had no wish to go and drain it.

"Shush, Jessica. Creatures like her don't _need_ help, they need a blood bank." He scowled.

"But... she didn't do anything wrong. She was attacked." Jess... Jessica said. It felt almost like cogs clicked in my head. Jessica Stanley. She went to my school, once one of my best friends, imprint of Jacob.

"Didn't do anything wrong?!" Jake snarled, making absolutely sure I could hear. "She tricked us into letting her die, Jess. We nearly lost her. Can you _imagine_ the consequences?"

"My life means nothing, Jake! And you know it." I said.

"So you wanted to die?!" He shouted, shaking violently.

"I didn't want to _die_; I wanted to stop her from getting to you!" I screamed, hands balling up into fists. My reaction shocked me, making me stop and stare into space. I had no idea how long I sat there, just stuck in time.

I could hear murmurs, they were talking. "Please, let me go Jake!" There was a sharp cracking noise.

"JESS!" Jacob yelled in shock and alarm. My head snapped up to look at them. Jessica was walking toward me, slowly and hesitantly. Jacob was watching after her, frozen with fear, an arm reached out for her. I realised then, Jessica had slapped him. It wouldn't have hurt, but it would have been an indication to her anger. She knelt down a couple of metres away from me. I stared at her, frightened of something I might do. Though there was no burning throat, which was confusing, wasn't that one of the vampire problems?

"Oh, Bella," She whispered, tears in her eyes. She looked like she wanted to hug me, but she couldn't; I would probably kill her. What was I going to do? Charlie, Renee, school? I had decided to die a few days ago, but since I'd been given another chance, was that really what I wanted, especially since I had no other choice? I had been so stupid; no wonder the Cullens left me. How could I not get over them? Even now?! I did something then I had never imagined possible. Tears streamed out of my eyes, encouraged even more by the shock of them. I dabbed my eyes with my fingers, pulling back to look at them. They were tears, for sure. They glistened the same way, smelt like salty water, even tasted salty. Jessica was looking up at me, as confused I was. "Bella?! I thought you couldn't cry?"

"So did I," I said, still wiping away tears, then examining them carefully. Jacob growled from behind Jessica.

"Oh, shut up Jake," She scowled, rolling her eyes at him. She turned back to me, smiling, but still incredibly bewildered. "What does this mean? Are you not really a vampire?" She frowned, looking at me.

I patted my legs, arms, and reached up to my cheek. I didn't really need to check, it was certain. "Yes. Definitely. But... I don't feel much like one. As far as I know, being a newborn means I wouldn't be able to restrain myself from... hurting you. Or even Jake. But I can't feel any need to hurt you. You smell like humans and blood, but that's it."

Jake snarled, "I don't believe her, don't you believe it, Jess. All vampires are _leeches._" He was nervous, but still shaking angrily. It was only a matter of time before he snapped, and would be flying toward me as a lumbering wolf.

"Actually, Jake, I'm _not_ lying. You can test it personally, if you're too scared for Jessica." I snapped.

"Bella..." Jess said, a pained look on her face. She trusted me, but not enough to test it. I wondered where all the friendship had come from, especially with the mood she was in with me a few days ago. No matter what she said, Jacob was stomping over to me, trying to look angry, but only managing to look afraid and sad. I stood up as Jessica watched with wide eyes. Jacob stunk. He was close to me now, just out of arm's reach. I couldn't take it; he was the only person I could hug, possibly ever. The weird tears were still falling from my face as I lunged toward him. He looked nothing but alarmed, but I only wrapped my arms around him, crying into his shoulder. Hesitantly, he put his arms around me, too.

"Thank you, Jake. Thank you _so_ much," I sobbed.

"Oh, Bells, I could never hate you, no matter what you've become. It was the pack's fault anyway. We argued for ages over whether it was a trick, or a trap. Me, Quil and Embry came for you on our own, to find that _leech_ on you. We were too late."

"No, you still saved me. Kinda." I smiled sadly.

I felt him tighten his hold on me. I looked up at him, worried. He was shaking again, "Don't you _ever_ try anything like that again, you hear?!" He growled.

"Okay, but I suppose I can't now. I'm stuck in life forever." _Alone._ I added in my head. He let go of me, smiling at Jess as she walked over to his side.

"So what's the deal with the human things? Like crying and no bloodlust?" He asked the question we'd all been wondering.

"A talent; power, maybe? Like the Cullens have emotion control, foresight... and mind-reading."

Jessica gasped, eyes widening in horror, "Which one can read minds?" She blushed, and I knew exactly why.

"Edward," I said without emotion as my chest flared with the burning pain. She blushed an even darker red. I laughed hollowly, not truly finding it funny.

"Sorry, Bella." She mumbled. Jake just stared at us, confused by the exchange. There was a long silence. I sat back down again. Jake had something on his mind, I could tell; he kept looking at me, then chickening out and looking away.

"Spit it out, Jake." I sighed.

He was very uncomfortable, whatever he had to say. "Bella, d-do you need to... hunt?" I thought about it for half a second. I couldn't see what all the fuss was about, blood, water, whatever. Neither of them sounded appealing, no matter if I could smell Jessica's blood from here. In fact, the idea slightly repelled me, the same reaction I had to blood when I was human, except I wasn't passing out.

"No." I smiled, absolutely certain of this.

His eyes narrowed, but he let it drop. "Then I guess we can go home." He smiled too. I froze.

"Charlie? First of all, what did you tell him? About me not being around?"

"Oh, I covered this." Jessica smiled. "Though I didn't know why at the time... Basically, you got sick of the same surroundings of your house, and you came to mines for a few days, since my parents are _apparently_ out of town. He bought it straight away," She giggled.

This didn't really soothe my worry, "I still can't go back; he'll notice differences about me."

"Actually, Bella, if I didn't know what happened, I wouldn't be able to tell much difference." Jessica grinned. "See?" She pulled out a mirror and threw it lightly at me. I caught it with ease. Flicking it open, I looked into the reflective surface. My skin was definitely paler and clearer, even a little shimmering. My features were perfected, but not changed _much_. My eyes, which I feared would hold the most differences were maroon, only slightly redder than the colour they once were. It was noticeable, but like Jessica said, it was mostly because I was looking for differences.

"Could I see Charlie?" I wondered aloud. Neither of them answered, it was a question only I could answer. I could try, I suppose. I stood up. "Shall we try?" I asked them, not quite knowing what would happen if it went wrong. I looked around, "Where are we? Where Victoria got me?"

Jake nodded. "Didn't you hear us 'getting rid' of her?" I frowned, not sure if I had or not. "Let's go, then. Are you sure you can, Bella? After all, you've only tested it on me..."

"Shall I hug Jessica and see?" I asked, it wasn't a threat, I was as worried as him. He shook his head, forehead crinkled in concern. I sighed, and reached out for her arm gently. She flinched, but I ignored her, bringing her wrist up to my face. She froze entirely, in fear or shock. It actually smelt not bad, but not in a way I was tantalized by it, just like walking in on the smell of a relatively nice meal. I nearly laughed, but then I had an idea. I pulled it back from my face a little, focusing my eyes on it and trying to look hypnotized by the pulse, just under her skin. I heard Jake flinch. I fought against a smile as I inhaled deeply, before opening my mouth, revealing sharp teeth coated with an ammonium-chloride type substance I knew would be venom. Though she was frozen, unable to move, Jess gasped in fright. Something between a yell and a snarl escaped from Jacob and he tensed to spring at me. I closed my mouth immediately, and gently hit his face with the back of Jessica's hand with a chuckle. The look on his face made me laugh harder; the wild terror was still on his face, along with irritation and understanding.

On the other hand, Jess may have needed therapy. "That wasn't funny," Jacob snarled at me, tending to Jess.

"It was, and you know it." I giggled, before calming down. "Jess, you know I was kidding, right?" I said softly. She just nodded, colour returning to her face. "Hmm... That was fun..." I giggled again.

Jake just scowled at me. "Shall we go meet Charlie then?" He said after a moment. Jess and I nodded, and we began walking our way out of the forest. I hoped Charlie wouldn't notice anything different. What if he did? What would he think? What would the Cullens think? Now that I could be around forever, and they wouldn't need to pretend for me, probably annoyance. There were a lot less excuses for them leaving me now. I wouldn't bother them, no matter if my now cold, dead heart could only cry out for him.

**AN: I don't know if I like this chapter... or the next one :/  
Tell me what you think? Thankyouu x**

**Rachee (:**


	8. Talent & Trouble

Charlie's house wasn't far, unfortunately. I wanted a chance to stretch my legs, try out some vampire action. Smash a few trees down, run around the forest a bit, all the things I knew to be vampire. Just like in the meadow. The agony at memories was never going to ease; forgetting them, like I had been trying to beforehand would have been much smarter. Along the way, Jake wanted to try figure out why I was so immune to the pull of blood, just in case it turned out I _wasn't._ After all, he was meant to protect humans from vampires, his 'sworn enemies'. We were acting like best friends. He continued my idea about vampire 'talents', musing over it and asking me questions about it. I stopped listening after a while, Jake and Jess were discussing some talents Billy had told him about, which vampires killed by their ancestors had possessed.

"Bella...?" Jake asked hesitantly.

"Mhm?"

"Well, I was wondering... I have a theory," Ah, theories... Ouch, another terrible memory. Sitting in a magnificent silver Volvo, discussing what the angel beside me truly was. Jake carried on, oblivious to the pain his choice of words caused. "If you could just... just try something. I don't know if it'll work, but please could you trust me?"

I sighed, "What is it Jake?"

He took a deep breath, before blurting out what I had to do. "Bite your wrist."

"What?!"

"It sounds crazy, but trust me. Bite your wrist. Just to puncture it."

"Why?!"

"Hopefully, you'll see."

"If nothing happens, you're telling me." I glared at him. I didn't know if this hurt or not, but I decided to go along with it anyway. Cautiously, I raised my wrist, not the one Victoria bit, but the other. I carefully pushed my top teeth onto the cold, hard skin, before yelping in pain. They had punctured the skin, like Jacob asked. Nothing odd had happened, except there was no blood –but that was normal for a vampire. Quite on the contrary, they were staring at the wound, eyes wide, Jake's mouth slightly agape. "Well? What was supposed to happen?" I raised an eyebrow. He looked up at me, shocked.

"Bella, can't you see that?"

I frowned, "See what?"

He raised his eyebrows, "You're bleeding." Jessica nodded, not looking away from my arm.

"No I'm not!" I frowned, looking closely at the wound. It was nothing but a little cut, coated with venom –from the bite, not instead of blood.

"I swear, you are." He said defiantly. "That proves it, I was right."

"Right about what?" I asked, "What was your theory?"

He held my arm gently. "You feel cold to me, but just a little colder than a human normally."

"What's that meant to mean?!"

"You're an illusion human." Jessica laughed.

"That's basically my theory, yes. But 'illusion human'?" He scowled.

"Does that mean... That means that... apart from the vampire looks, you still could be tricked into thinking I'm human?"

"Well, not even that. You look just like my Bells at the minute. But you didn't before... Maybe... can you control it?"

"Um..." I thought about it. Wow, a talent which meant I wouldn't need to give up the excuse for a life I had. "I don't know how I'd go about that..." But I had an idea. _Vampire._ I thought, imagining everything which I knew to be true about vampires. When I opened my eyes, I looked right at Jake, who's eyes were sparkling with fascination.

"Amazing. Do you know how you did it?" Jake reminded me of Carlisle when he was like this –philosophical.

"It worked?!" I smiled.

"Yes, but please change back." Jess smiled, though frightened, probably of my red eyes. _Human_. I did the same as I had with vampire, and again, it worked. I heard them sigh in relief.

"Can you do anything else?" Jake wondered. I was way ahead of him. _Jessica Stanley._ It worked, I stood there, laughing at a stunned Jess, my identical. I changed back with just a thought. Jacob was incredibly excited, again like Carlisle. "Incredible. Maybe you're a _shape shifter _too. Awesome." He grinned.

We were almost back in the town by then, and although I knew it would be okay, I was stressing out about Charlie. I constantly asked Jess the excuse she had given Charlie for me. Luckily, it was one I could work with. The day before I left, Charlie had seen me in a state, and if he knew I was at Jess' house he would be glad I had company. We got to my house, and I looked up at the tall, pretty building with my improved vampire eyes. It wasn't as perfect as that beautiful white mansion... For some reason I desperately wanted to go there, but I knew it would hurt, much worse than Victoria's attack. Maybe someday, in the future.

Charlie wasn't in when we got back. "Um, what day is it?" I wondered.

"Sunday." Jake answered quickly. Charlie would have gone fishing. I smiled in relief at this, I would get a chance to reacquaint myself with the house without looking weird.

Suddenly, I had a thought. It surprised me, I thought that most of my memory was a wreck. "Sunday? Last day of the holidays?"

Jess nodded, "You came to La Push on Thursday, Bella," She didn't get it. They both thought I would be fine, going back to school. Of course, I thought different.

"School tomorrow." I gulped.

"You'll be okay," Jake smiled. "You're alright with us, yeah?"

"I know, but I don't know, I'm a little scared, to be honest."

Jake snorted, trying to suppress laughter. "You're scared?! A vampire, frightened of a day of six hours at school? Right." He chuckled. I just rolled my eyes, but he hadn't stopped me being scared. I wasn't scared at all about the idea of school, just the idea of vampirism.

"You'll be fine, and I'll be there." Jess smiled encouragingly. She was once the school's biggest gossip, I wondered how she was going keep the world's biggest secrets. I trusted her enough, as Jacob's imprint she could never really tell anyone.

I opened the door, surprisingly I managed to remember where we kept the key. I walked into Charlie's house, eyes wide, like it was the first time I'd been in a house. Everything was so bright, so wonderful. I could see marks, scratches, even fingerprints on everything, but it just made it better. More real, more amazing. It felt like I had to make sure everything was real, so I went around just the main room, lightly touching everything, leaving no marks whatsoever. It occurred to me then, Jess and Jake were still standing outside. I ran back to them, they were smiling nervously. "You can come in!" I smiled, opening the door wider, just in case.

"The vampire's lair..." Jake muttered mockingly. "Soon enough, it'll stink as bad as you here, too!" He wrinkled his nose, as though to emphasize it.

"What?!" I frowned, vampires smelt great, it was _him_, the wolf that needed to change his deodorant.

"Vampires smell _awful._ Like bleach." He scowled playfully.

"Oh, okay." I dismissed it. They still hadn't come in yet. "Aw, c'mon, I don't stink _that _bad! Are you coming in?"

"Actually, Bells, I think I need to go back to the pack, only Quil and Embry know properly, and even they don't know all about you. I need to go tell them."

"Can't they just find out by werewolf-telepathy-thing?" I was beginning to feel lonely and sad again, even though they hadn't even left yet.

"Yeah, exactly. If they do that, they'll want to attack. I need to explain properly that you're no threat, as far as we know."

"Okay," I sighed. "Jess, you'll be going with him too, yeah?"

"Yeah, sorry. See you tomorrow though?"

"Hopefully," I gulped.

"Will we go then?" Jake asked, fumbling for Jessica's hand.

"Want me to drive you there?" I asked hopefully. They looked at the old truck sceptically, then back at me.

"Yeah, okay," Jess spoke first, knowing how Jake hated my rusty old car. He shot her a horrified expression, but laughed it off. In the car, I felt safe, like I knew exactly what I was doing here. Anything else was entirely new. We drove to La Push in silence, my roaring truck cut through all conversation. Like all vampires I'd been in the car with, I hardly ever looked at the road. I got bored of it after a while, instead looking out the side window at the forests and other scenery as it flew past, not nearly fast enough. I really regretted my human fear of speed, the maximum speed in this broken old car was nowhere near as exhilarating as I wanted. I slowed to a stop near the opening of La Push.

"Am I allowed in, or am I added to the treaty?" I asked Jake. He wasn't sure, since he wasn't the Alpha, it wasn't really up to him.

"I don't know. Leave it today, and I'll see what the rest of the pack says." He said, opening the door, before running round to get Jessica. I think she liked being treated like a princess with Jake. Not in a spoilt way, it was cute; and he was only too happy to oblige. It felt like my heart was swelling in happiness; at last, my best friends had found real love. Then it shattered, I would never have what they did. I drove home carelessly, trying to be thoughtless. I only realised where I was going when I saw the trees, and flashes of a white building. Panicking, I took the next turn in the opposite direction. Not today.

Charlie was in when I got back, his car was there, and I could hear him shuffling and pacing. He was obviously nervous and afraid about me coming back. Why? I couldn't imagine. I got out of my car, and before opening the door, I remembered I wasn't the regular Bella Swan anymore. For all I knew, the illusion could have faded. _Bella_. Crossing my fingers and hoped it worked, I walked through the door.

Charlie appeared in the living room doorframe instantly. "Bella, honey," He murmured, walking toward me.

"Hey, Dad." I said, trying to sound tearful. It worked, to me anyway.

"Have fun at Jessica's house?" He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "You're cold," He noted.

I felt my eyes widen, "What?!" _Bella Swan. Isabella Swan. Human._ I thought frantically in my head.

"Just a little bit, don't panic," He smiled, though unable to laugh. I could see worry lines on his face, but he wasn't worrying now, thankfully. I remembered then what Jake had said about me feeling only a little colder than humans, not vampire cold –under my illusion of course.

"Yeah, it was fun at Jessica's, got a break." I sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you first, it was a spur of the moment thing. I hope I didn't worry you."

"You did, Bells. I'm just glad you're back though," He pulled me into a proper hug, and I returned it happily. There was no problems.

Just then, I got a wave of hunger – or rather _thirst._

**AN: Oooh :P  
I know I don't like this one, ah well. Let me know if you do...  
If you want :D**

**I got big plans for this story, it's just getting to the kick-off that's the problem... :/**

**Thankyouu for reading, even if you don't review :P **

**Rachee (: x**


	9. First Day Back

I lay on my pointless bed, head tucked into the pillow. I had run up to bed as soon as I had felt the burning in my throat, the tightening of my muscles. I knew the signs of thirst...somehow. I had to give Charlie excuses in a strangled voice, desperately hoping he wouldn't check up on me. His daughter was now murderous, he couldn't deal with that. I gripped onto the covers -tearing them- as the feeling rose. I wanted to sleep, forget about it, but of course, the same reason it hurt was the same reason I couldn't. I really should have gone hunting, but I was a little afraid –what if I got too caught up in hunting, and a human came? Or if I couldn't stop? I don't know, there were endless possibilities as to what could go wrong. Besides, it wasn't too much pain. There was absolutely no chance it would get to be too much, and I would go murder Charlie. There was no choice but to sit it out. Maybe I would be able to go tomorrow night. It was probably just a confidence problem. Jake could help.

Being a vampire was boring. I had waay too much time on my hands, to do nothing. I needed company, but there was only one family I could turn to... Ouch. I picked up a drawing pad I had long lost interest with, and flicked through the pages. A lot of the doodles made me blush, they were ridiculous. Maybe with my new species, I would be a better drawer? I picked up a pencil from the computer desk, and decided to do a shade in drawing. At first, it was just going to be a doodle, but it was good, compared to my previous pictures. But I could never make it as perfect as the original. I worked on it for a few hours, leaning over it, paying so much attention to detail it could have sprung to life. By the end, the sheet was covered in tear splatters, making the drawing smudge. They weren't just miserable, sad tears, but tears of frustration and anger too. I was just about to scribble in his perfect, beautiful face when his wonderful smile stopped me. It was a smile that said, "I love you." I scribbled all over it, pressing down so hard the lead splintered, before tearing the page up. I grabbed the pieces, and tore them to shreds with my hands. I fell back on my bed, feeling almost sick at the lie I'd drawn out for myself. Bella _freaking _Swan, you sad waste of a life. More than one life too, hundreds of lifetimes, all _wasted_. I wanted them back; I wanted them all to come back to Forks, even if they didn't love me. Just to see them, even if that would make me cry, I would be happier. I don't even know why. I was a newborn vampire, and I'd just lost a family of long-time, good, friendly vampires. I wanted their help. I wanted their care. Worst of all, I knew it wouldn't happen. I cried those weird, vampire tears till morning.

Ugh, school. And I was still thirsty, self-conscious and emotional. I sat up, and walked over to the bathroom –it was useless to me, except the mirror. I wondered if the identity differences would show up to me, seeing as I couldn't see the blood Jake and Jess saw yesterday. It turned out, if I concentrated hard enough, I could fool even my own eyes. I messed around with my image for a while till I found one that was Bella-ish, but pretty enough to make me feel a little better about myself. Maybe I wasn't _that _useless, I could make myself more beautiful than Rosalie, or the most grotesque looking person I could create. A slightly prettier Bella would do. I finished getting ready, more apathetic than I had ever been; there would be plenty more chances to go to school in my life. _Jessica had better be there. _I thought venomously –no pun intended. I wasn't in a good mood. Part of it was probably because I was so thirsty so quickly, or maybe it was because of how badly my first vampire night had went. Maybe a combination –either way, my mood rose to be worse than the world's worst PMS.

I arrived at school with time to spare, earlier than nearly everyone else. It was raining, but I stood outside, out of cover. Who cared if the rain soaked my clothes and hair? Slowly and steadily, people began to arrive in their cars, and though there were no cars any better than mine, I began to feel self-conscious about it. How unusual for me. The odd few people braved the water droplets to run into the cafeteria, many staring at me as they ran by. I managed blank stares to the people faintly knew, and glares at those I didn't. Staring was rude. I saw Mike Newton's car pull up in the car park. _Lovely._ He seemed to consider the weather, and decided to stay in his rusty green machine of a car. Until he saw me. His face lit up, before he frowned in confusion, possibly at my stance. Humans were harder to read than ever. He got out of his car, a small orange book in his hand. As soon as he was out in the open, the opened the book and put it over his head, as if it would protect him. _Pfft._ The wind was blowing the rain in a south-east direction, which meant it was all going on his back.

"Hey! Bella..." He was excited at first, but seemed confused again. I looked at him blankly, like he was no different from anyone else who had walked past me today. I admired his bravery, to be honest. He carried on as though unfazed. "You look... different. Haircut?"

"Different? A little." I said, sounding like I belonged in the Adams Family. This frightened him, quite a bit. I realized, a little late that my voice wasn't normal, it was like a soprano bell.

"So..." He said, as soon as he managed to return his eyes to a normal width. "Are you all right? You look a little mad..." His eyes took in my stance, arms folded tightly in front of me, my legs, which were sheathed in black skinny jeans didn't shake, or look incapable of keeping me up. And of course, my emotionless facial expression.

"No, I'm fine. How was your holiday?" I tried making forceful small-talk with Mike, but it was difficult, especially when he held that book ridiculously over his head. He began telling me several stories about things that happened in his holiday, each seeming to be more tied together than he explained. At the end of one long and boring tale, I had to stop him before he launched into another. "So you had a good time?"

"Eh. Not that good, actually. Jessica dumped me." He sighed. "Did she tell you?"

"Yeah, she's with Jake now," I tried not to smile, but I felt a small one appear despite myself. Mike didn't notice, he had a cloudy eyed expression on, as though he was in deep thought. I doubted it.

"What, Jacob Black? _Mammoth kid_?" He snorted. "Good luck!" I fought back a snarl, if it weren't for Jacob, I would be dead. Though it might have been better, I could never hold it against him for saving me.

"Why do you call him that?" I snapped.

Mike didn't notice my tone either. "Cause he's HUGE! You not seen that kid lately?! He's like a giant, a freak!" He chuckled as I ground my teeth together. "Kinda like _Cullen..._" Mike said, normally I would have only heard a mumble. Mike would probably be a good first meal... There was a clawing in the back of my throat, as though a monster was trying to get out and attack him itself. I was just checking my surroundings, see if anyone would notice, when Jess came into view, just getting out of her car. She had an umbrella with her, and looked especially edgy, since her hair was straightened. She dashed over, running on her tiptoes. Perfect timing, actually. Mike saw her too, and began walking off. I wondered why she was alone, but I guessed she didn't want to be tempted into gossip, or spilling the beans. I was the only person she could freely talk to.

"Mike Newton, eh?" She smirked as she came up to me, before making retching noises, laughing.

"No, actually. Just before I saw you, I was about to kill him and drain him." I said coldly. She paled slightly, before blushing at her reaction.

"Are- are you _thirsty?_" She whispered.

"Just enough." I frowned, wondering if she would be a good substitution to Mike. I stopped; Jess had been there for me too, in my brand new hours. I couldn't excuse her from my mood if it got in the way, but I could warn her in advance. "_Terrible_ mood today. I'm sorry if I get angry at you, but there isn't anything I can do about it." I grimaced.

"Oh, that's okay, but please don't kill me. I promise not to taste good! And if you-" The bell rang, cutting off her sentence. She scowled at the building, and we began walking to the first class of the day. I honestly couldn't remember my timetable, but Jess said I had English first. We studied a poem, I don't know which one, nor did I care. I could hear people at other desks around the classroom mumbling, my name often cropping up. I couldn't bear to hear the content of the conversations.

Lunch came quickly, and though Jess and I wanted to talk alone, about things we could talk about alone, we went to sit with her friends. Angela complimented the 'something different' about me, though she wasn't sure what it was. Other than ask her simple questions about her time off, I stayed out of all the conversations. Jessica joined in the ones she obviously thought couldn't make her spill, though a lot more of the time she listened forlornly to all the other conversations going on. She got asked a lot if she was feeling okay. So did I, I didn't even bother fill my tray, like the Cullens did. People should get used to it, it would be regular.

P.E was difficult. Not only did I have to hide added strength, speed or aim, but I also had to act as incompetent as I had been before. I very nearly gave it up, planning on smashing Lauren Mallory's hockey stick to pieces. Saved by the bell, humans were always saved by the bell. I quickly got changed, wanting to get away from school. It was too judgemental. Although I planned not to listen, I had already heard rumours about me; 'plastic surgery' was thrown around a lot. How unimaginative. I was in such a hurry to get out of the P.E area; I didn't even notice the change in weather. It was still raining, I could hear it, but the cloud cover had reduced a surprising amount. And amazingly, behind all that common cloud, the sun was always shining. I got to the P.E doors, still oblivious to the change. Thankfully, there was nobody else around. I didn't know if the illusion worked on this situation, the sparkling skin was a very strong reaction. As soon as I opened the door, the sun weakly shot through. "Sh..!" I half-cursed, hurling myself away, into the shadows. Though not as strong, the diamond effect still worked, though it looked like I'd just been sprinkled with sparkles. I tested it a few times, sticking an arm into the light. I finally felt good to go. I ran, fast for a human back to my car. Jessica's was across from mine, she was sitting, staring at me with concern. I smiled half-heartedly, and hoped the sun would never show in Forks again.

**AN: Hopefully, I can get my idea in the next chapter... Hopefully.**

**Will write tomorrow :D**

**Thankyou for reading, reviewing, showing any interest in this story, anything.. You know who you are! :P**  
**It means a lot, thanks :D**

**Rachee (: x**


	10. Scaring Mike

The creature was on top of me, snarling fiercely, swiping at me with its claws. Really, only a pile of flesh bones and blood. And fur, can't forget that. The idea of putting my mouth to its neck repelled me, no matter how much my throat hurt, how much I wanted to. It hissed and spit, swinging its paws frantically. I slowly, carefully leaned in toward the mountain lion. It still shocked and scared me that its attack did nothing to me. I bared my teeth, reminding myself of what I could do, I was a vampire –I had to. I managed to get close enough to kiss its neck, before chickening out. I ran about 10 metres away from where I was. There was a loud snap as my leg collided with its head, snapping its neck and killing it instantly. Would it be so terrible, if I were to go back to it? To taste the essence of its life? That was getting philosophical, it was just blood, a liquid I needed to survive. If I couldn't do it now, would I ever be able to? I crept through the dark forest back to its still corpse. Could I drink from it now? Were there rules, like in the Anne Rice books, where you couldn't drink from the dead? Though I doubted it –most stories about vampires were actually wrong- I had no way of telling. What did that matter? I had killed this animal; I wouldn't kill any others tonight. I built up the courage and crouched beside it.

Let's just say, it was the best and worst feeling I'd ever had in this new life. At first, I wanted to retch, feeling the lukewarm, salty liquid in my mouth. But after a second, it seemed wonderful, like if I did this all my life I would never have a care in the world. After I'd done with it, I didn't know what to do with the body. Did other vampires just leave the empty bodies in the forests? It didn't look like a good idea for this lion, especially considering the messy red mark on its neck. What else could I do? At a loss, I retreated back home. Charlie was fast asleep, that idea didn't calm me in the slightest, in fact it made things worse. It would be so much easier if he was asleep... And I could smell him from here... I very nearly nailed my feet to the ground, to stop me going, but unfortunately the toolbox with nails and hammers was in his cupboard, in his bedroom. Willpower would have to do it all.

I decided to draw again, the same image as yesterday, making slight improvements. For example, not looking at it when I'd finished, and keeping it all one sheet of paper. My delusions had gone entirely so far, maybe this was the next stage to getting over him. I wasn't sure if I wanted that, even now. I had to try hard not to cry, but I failed. The picture was ruined. Without hesitating, I shifted the drawing away, grabbing another blank piece of paper. I did this seven times, and before I realized, my pencil had grown a mind of its own, and the Cullens were all smiling up at me from their paper worlds, frozen in a happy time. I put them all together, sheets overlapping, and hoped they could be happier than _this_.

I sat back down on my bed, staring at the torn fabric in disgust. It seemed like nothing escaped my temper last night. How could I hide it from Charlie? That is, if he managed to live. _You monster, Bella._ I thought to myself. The feeling was entirely true, but at the same time hard to shake off, even after I admitted it. I guess I understood how he couldn't stop believing it. It was always there, with no doubt. Of course, I was the real monster, rather than him. I stood up again, and grabbed the notepad again. I had never been good at poems, but now I had better inspiration –no matter if it was lost- and plenty of time. Let's just say I hadn't improved. But that _had _made me think of _him._ And though the pain came in waves, threatening to end me with one blow, I was quite happy. He had graced me with his attention for a while, and I couldn't be the one to complain when that ended. After all, it shouldn't have been in the first place. He was too perfect for me, no matter if I was the same as him now. I wasn't desperate enough to think of _Mike,_ not yet anyway. I laughed aloud when I thought of him as an immortal. I guess his talent would be persistence. I laughed again. He certainly wouldn't be in the list of the most attractive vampires. I brushed Mike out of my mind with ease, but the other characters were not so easily moved. I walked to the window, and leaned out of it. The world was going on outside. The forest was swaying happily, at last acquainted with the wind. The animals in the wood were hushed, save for the nocturnal creatures taking advantage of the darkness. They spoke in whispers in the dawn air, careful not to wake their bright counterparts. I wondered what life would be like for a forest animal. The only thing they have to feel concern for is surviving, and keeping the species alive. In other words, eat, sleep, eat, sleep. Simple. _Too_ simple.

I focused on the human side of the scene. I could see the road, past the forest. Few cars drove past, very few would have need to be driving around so early. There were cars, packed to burst with suitcases and bags and people. Silly time to go on holiday, especially since Spring Break had just finished yesterday. Others seemed to be commuters, going to a job elsewhere. That was when I heard Charlie shuffling in his sleep. He was slowly waking up. Not long now till he would check up on me. I got into the bed now, so I would have enough time to make it look authentic.

A while later, Charlie peeked in, making sure I was okay. Far from it. It took everything I had not to jump out of bed and end him. That lion didn't help in the slightest. It died in vain. What was the problem, not enough blood –shudder- or something different? Were there vampires that _couldn't _survive on animals? It had to be animals, I was too afraid of the alternative. Happy with what he saw, he walked away to shower. I lay absolutely still till he was done, and out the door. It was surprising, he was pretty quick. As soon as he was gone, I hopped out of bed. I really couldn't be bothered with school, and friends, and Mike Newton... But I had to go, the school had introduced a system where they had to find out why people didn't turn up. I couldn't let Charlie know I skipped, I would be tempted to do it again. I thought about yesterday, the sunshine. What would I do on sunny days? Worse, how would I _know_ what days would turn out to be sunny? I could probably create an image of sickness... As for the later sun, I really needed someone with a talent for foresight. Perfect, my vampire ex-boyfriend's vampire sister, my ex-best friend. Maybe my power would get stronger eventually.

I sat in the school grounds, waiting for the bell to ring. It wasn't raining, but the clouds were becoming a darker shade of grey every second. Unlike yesterday, it was hard to believe there was anything above them. If anyone thought I was angry yesterday, they were deadly wrong, and that was a fatal mistake. Life was frustrating. I had decided to mess with my face in the mirror today, and it was a lot less human than yesterday. I dressed according to my mood, dark grey jeans, a black top, and a black jumper. I must have looked like a Goth; pale skin, dark clothing, and dark 'makeup'. Nope, vampire. Same as yesterday, Mike walked up to me, smile plastered on his face. I just glared at his neck, mainly the pulse. Whatever he was going to say, he chickened out and walked away. _Good, piss off Newton_. I thought. He spun around, halfway though walking away from me. _Oh well._ I really needed to stop saying my thoughts aloud.

"What?!" He said unconfidently. Poor Mike, he was setting himself up to be a meal. Jessica walked up then, though Mike hadn't left.

"Hey Bella," She smiled warmly. I forced a smile back. "Mike." She nodded in his direction.

He didn't answer her. "What did you say, Bella?"

"What's going on?" Jess looked at us with panicked eyes. "Bella, are you alright?" She whispered, knowing only I would hear.

"You told me to piss off, didn't you?!" Mike snapped, eyes narrowing. "What the hell's up with you, Bella? You come back here, with a whole new look and attitude. Did Cullen come back and remind you he didn't like you? Cause you seemed to forget that, with all the pathetic crying." I heard Jessica gasp, but only barely. I was the newborn vampire again, strength, speed and anger boiling in my veins, rather than the blood I desperately craved. I dug my long nails into my palms. If anything, I could _try_ to stop this from happening. Though that didn't seem likely at the minute.

"_Bella, please!"_ Jess whispered. I knew she was right, at the back of my mind. It was a justifiable action if I hurt him, he deserved it 100%. The police may not see it that way, of course... Brutal Murder At Forks High: Psychopath Girl Turns 'Vamp'. Could I not just break his wrist? Jess grabbed my arm gently. I could feel her pulse, just in the simple movement. I jerked away from her in panic. Jessica mattered more than Mike.

"Well? What did you say?" Mike gained confidence at my silence. If I couldn't tear him apart, I could tear his confidence up.

"I told you to _piss off,_ Mike." I snarled, like an actual vampire. "So why don't you do it? _Please? _I don't want to hurt you... _Much._" I said sweetly. Normally, a human saying that would sound cheesy, and would be taunted. I was no human. Mike looked terrified. He backed away, mumbling apologies. I looked at Jess, trying to smile warily.

"Bella... Please don't look at me like that, it's frightening." She said sheepishly.

"Sorry, Jess." I hung my head, though the mood was nowhere near over. The rest of the day was a slow blur, everything went by pointlessly.

By the end of the day, I basically felt as dead as I should be. School had drained all the emotion out of me. I wanted to think that tomorrow I would give up, never go to school for another century, only to come back and realize my car really _was _out of place, amongst all the flying ones. I knew that couldn't happen though, I had to go to school this time round, so not to upset Charlie and Renee. Luckily, it wasn't sunny this time round after school. P.E, I tried to stay apathetically unconcerned. It worked, to some extent. Jess met up with me on my walk back to my car.

"Hey, want to come to La Push today?" She asked hopefully.

"No thanks, Jess. Maybe tomorrow? I have something I need to do first." She thought I meant hunt, but that wasn't it. I don't really know why I declined, it would have been fun. There was something I wanted to do, but it was hidden in my brain, I couldn't think of it.

"Oh, okay. Maybe tomorrow then. See you at school again?"

"Yeah, unless it's sunny, I basically _have_ to be here," I groaned. She walked to her car with a 'Cya, Bella." I nodded in response. I began driving home, but like before, I didn't go home originally. I saw the same white building peeking through the trees. I couldn't help it, I had absolutely no idea when _some other time_ would be. I turned into the driveway, feeling shaky and downright terrified, to be honest. I couldn't tell whether my heart was happy, or whether it was crying out in anger and pain. Mixed messages. If anybody was here, they would have surely heard me coming. I was nearly deafened by my car. Nobody was here, I would be able to smell them. There was a fairly recent vampire smell though, perhaps a few months old. Probably just to collect something, they hadn't sold the house.

I walked slowly and quietly to the door, hand shaking on the handle. I could barely open it, I was so scared. For the first time in months, I was going back to the place of my best dreams, but also of my nightmares. I was going to be brought back to the memories, for real. I took a deep, unnecessary breath, before pushing the door open.

**AN: Big thing coming up next, one of my big ideas :D **

**Thankyou for reviews, favouriting it, adding it to alerts, :D **

**Rachee (: x**


	11. The Cullen House

Okay, I was in the Cullen house. It was eerie, the way everything had just been left in the same place. Like they had just stepped out of the house for a minute, and would return any second. There was a book on the sofa, a TV magazine, lying open at the page the day they left. I shuddered. They weren't coming back; they hadn't been back in a long time. There was even mail left for them, piling up in front of the door, and an important looking package addressed to –dare I think it?- Edward. It seemed tantalizing, like it was tempting me to open it. I respected their privacy not to, of course.

Curiosity lead me upstairs. Out of habit, I knocked on every door before entering. Of course, nobody answered. I wanted to feel like part of the family again, I was basically pining for it. In Alice's room, there were shopping backs stacked up by the sofa, clothing no doubt. She hadn't even worn it yet, but she left it behind? _Were_ they planning on returning? Jasper's things occupied the room too, though not as much as Alice's. Typical Alice. I nearly laughed. Rosalie and Emmett's room was next door. I had seldom been in that room, so I just peeked in, for some reason feeling the need to give the space privacy. Carlisle and Esme's, again, I was never in there, so I left it. Carlisle's study looked recently occupied, though I could tell by the scent it hadn't. There was a large, heavy looking book on the desk, and a sheet of paper below it, pen beside it. The sheet had a title: Poems. Well, he must have obviously been about to write a poem.

I walked to Edward's room last, frightened for some reason of what I would find. On the large desk in the corner of his room, there were several sheets of paper, all looked well used, written on and slightly crumpled. I would have ignored them, after seeing one word in his elegant writing, if the one word wasn't _Bella._ I picked them up, anxious to see what he'd written about me, all the while questioning my sanity. There were a lot of sentences and lines crossed out. The paper seemed to be crumpled with stress or worry, Edward wouldn't crumple it intentionally, unless he was angry, but in that case it would have been worse. It said:

_Bella._

_I know the past few months with me haven't been easy. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've put you through, but I'm afraid I don't think I can survive without y_

_Carlisle once told me, shortly after he met Esme, that love, especially for my kind is an unchangeable force. I didn't really see how that made sense: till I met you. I don't know how you feel, but_

_Will you marry m_

There was a part where Emmett, or someone else had written something. I was too caught up in trying to see what each sentence said to see what they meant.

_Ed, Keep it simple, the girl's a __**human**__, for goodness sake! Like she'll care. Rose. _

Edward seemed to have ignored that comment, continuing his writing and crossing it out.

_You might think it's foolish of me to ask you when you're so young, when we've only known each other for a few months, but Bella, you've changed me. Vampires can't undo a change like that, so there is nobody I want but you. I know it's cruel to ask you this, to take your love away from you so soon in your life, but please, tell me how you feel about me. I can leave you if you don't want me, and to be honest you shouldn't want me. What I'm asking is; will you marry me Bel_

Again, someone had written below this attempt.

_Aww! Why not this one? I like this one, you should use it. And don't do all the 'I'm a monster' crap, it's not true, and Bella loves you no matter what. She'll say yes to this one. I promise- fortune-teller's honour! xxx._

There were several more sheets, all doing the same sort of thing. Suddenly, I felt my eyes widen in shock. Was this a trick? I couldn't get my head around what the sheets had said. It was definitely Edward's handwriting, but would he have written it? He wanted to propose. Oh, God. Oh, my. I began hyperventilating, tears streaming down my face. They landed on the papers, still in my hand. Oh, no.

Why had he left, then? If it was such a remarkable change to him, why did he leave me? My head spun, I felt dizzy. He left, telling me he didn't love me, yet according to these sheets, he wanted to propose? What did it mean?! I took one of the sheets, and tucked it into my jacket pocket. I was getting out, fast.

It must have been a lie, a fake. But why? If he truly didn't love me, why did he leave those papers? Or was it someone else? Someone out to avenge Victoria by getting me, how original. But... if it was, where did they expect me to go, to get attacked? Did I just miss my own ambushing? I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, and walked off the stairs straight onto the little tempting package. Unfortunately, it burst the package. That was it, I had to open it. Inside was a little jewellery box, red satin. I reached in, and pulled it out along with a note. It was an order form for engravers. They had engraved something into a golden ring, charging astronomical prices, already paid. It was for an engagement ring. Whoever had set this up had gone _too far._ I could feel the anger, specifically designed for strong, newborn vampires flaring up in me. I hurled the box at the wall, breaking it. The little ring inside rolled out, stopping near the shattered box. From where I was standing, it wasn't hard to see what it said: _Forever Yours_.

Whoever had done this was cruel, sick minded. That was unfair. I sank to my knees where I stood, unable to stop the flow of tears. I wanted to hope, with every part of me that what I found here was the truth, but the memory of that day in the forest blocked it out. It couldn't be true; I wouldn't hope. I sat there for a long time, enveloped in agony, when I heard a noisy car come up the driveway. Instantly, an illusion so strong came up. Even my _smell_ was different. There was nothing on me that could trace back to Bella Swan, except maybe my eyes; I always left them my human shade of brown. Instead, I was a tall, raven haired girl with tanned skin. There were only slight differences between me and 'Ella', but you would only find Bella if you knew the truth. Someone had got out the car and they were walking toward the house, whistling cheerfully.

Emmett opened the door to find me sitting beside it. His eyes bulged in shock at the human girl in his old house. It took everything I had not to let the illusion down and hug the life out of him. I acted the way humans generally would around him, especially being caught going through mail at their house. _Terrified. _

"What the fu...?" He trailed off, still leaving it a question. He looked around him, at the mess I'd made of Edward's package, and I could see anger begin to bubble in him. Then he saw my tears, and it cooled a little. I couldn't speak; Emmett was here. The impossible had happened; someone had come back for me. His eyes narrowed, "Who are you?" He asked, still angry, to a large extent.

"Ella," I gasped, though it was barely a whisper. The name was a little too close to Bella, but it was too late now...

"What the _hell_ are you doing in my house, Ella?!" He asked, eyebrows raised, testing me. He probably didn't have much aversion to pummelling me to death, no matter what my answer. I hoped he wouldn't try; he would find me out when I started hitting him harder.

"I- I thought nobody l-lived here," I said, shaking in fear, for real.

"Well, we do." He glared, as though about to tell me to get out. He looked about him for the mail quickly first, and then remembered seeing the mess, and the engagement ring on the floor. If his eyes weren't bulged enough, now they were. "Oh, shit, it came at last. Ed's gonna flip out," He said sadly, seeming to be talking to himself, then: "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO THROUGH OUR MAIL, YOU LITTLE TRAMP? LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO STEAL?!?!?" He yelled at the top of his lungs. I was terrified of Emmett now, whether he knew me or not. I wasn't anything like family, or family friend anymore. I'm sure there was no longer any problem with beating up little Bella Swan, who made the Cullen family move.

"No, no I-I s-sw-swear! I re-really wasn't!" I cried harder. Emmett would make me into a soup. I had no right to even _be _here. Oh, no. I was beginning to lose control of the illusion. It was fading. I couldn't draw up any energy to restore it though, it was a very powerful one. I buried my face in my hands, knowing that any second, my hair would return to normal, as would everything else about me. I was right.

"Vampire?!" Emmett hissed, sniffing the air. He walked right past me, though he grabbed the back of my collar as he did so, and began walking up the stairs, searching for the vampire he had in his hand. I hardly took my hands away from my face, but I checked my hair quickly. It was definitely back to chocolate brown. My hands were definitely icy pale and cold. My eyes would be red again. Emmett hadn't turned around to look at me yet. I wanted to scream _Emmett it's Bella!_ But my throat seemed to have closed up in fear. He walked through all of the upstairs rooms, dragging me back into Edward's. He grabbed the sheets of paper, scanning through them quickly. I heard him heave a quick sigh –of sadness, remorse? I didn't have time to think about it. _Oh, crap._ I thought again. I hadn't taken the tear-stained sheet. He inspected this one carefully, smelling the stain. "This was you, wasn't it? What do you have about Edward? You think it's funny about him and Bella? You wish you were in _her_ place? Think you could've done better at keeping my brother? Think he didn't love her as much as he could love_ you?_ Bloody delusional. Both of you. You and him. You, you're just a freak. Edward... the kid's a freakin' martyr. Making himself depressed to keep her 'safe'. 'It's better that way,' he says. 'I'll get over it,' he says. Here we are, months later. DEPRESSION! STILL!"

I was shocked, by both _what_ Emmett was telling me, _and_ how he was telling me, for all he knew, a stranger something entirely confidential. Perhaps he planned to kill 'Ella'.

"Now. Where the hell's this freaking vampire?" He hesitated. In that short space, I had to make a decision, based on whether what he told me was genuine or not. "Wait right here," He snarled, letting go of me. I choked on my own breath.

"Emmett, wait." I still had my face concealed, but everything else should have made it obvious. I heard him spin on the spot.

"How do you know my name? What the hell happened to your hair? Your voice? _Who the hell are you?!_"

"Don't you recognize me?!" I cried, tears began falling into my hands –freestyle. I got up and ran over to him at vampire speed, keeping my head down. I hugged him tightly. He got his hand in the way and made a move to throw me out of the way with his arm. Newborn strength meant he couldn't. I looked up at him, face covered in tears, like I'd just dunked it underwater. He gasped. "Hi, Emmett." I sobbed.

"Bella?! You're... you're the vampire?"

**AN: OOooh. Howzzat?**

**May just let that sit for a while... Or I'll continue.... :P**

**As always, Thankyouu.**

**Rachee (: x**


	12. Stories & Planning

Emmett stared at me, still in a hug. It was surprising he hadn't tried harder to push me away, after all, I was nothing but an annoyance to his family now... As far as I dared to believe. "Bella...? What the f...rogurt?" I couldn't help but laugh; it was Emmett through and through. Confused as he must be, he could make a joke out of it. "What happened to you?" He asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Uugh," I sighed, trying to think about it. There wasn't really a simple answer, and as much as it would hurt to let Emmett go and leave me again, I knew he wouldn't want to stay. It would be too weird –his brother's human ex-girlfriend, essentially a loser. "Basically? I became a vampire." I smiled.

He rolled his eyes. "Tell me _everything_. I mean it. I have forever." He laughed. I doubted it. I started telling him anyway, from the day when I started noticing things again, after Edward left. Everything I could remember in detail. When I got to the parts about Victoria's brutal attack, his eyes narrowed, and I could tell he would have liked to have been there. I thought I could hear him mutter insults to her under his breath, but I wasn't sure. About halfway through my story, he got a call. He flicked his cell out.

"Rose," He sighed, smiling. "Mind if I tell her?"

"It's your family." I smiled, not sure whether I minded or not. He answered the phone. Instantly, I could hear a blaring noise coming from the other end of the line. Rose was shouting.

"Shh... Calm down, I got here all right. Don't worry, Babe." He said soothingly. There was a slightly quieter shout from the phone. "I'm sorry, I know I've been ages, but I met someone, I think even you will be pleased to hear about," She began to speak, but Emmett cut her off. "ROSE! Wait, don't let the others hear you... Yep. You guessed. Are you on your own, did anyone hear? Nope, didn't think so, of course, you _are_ whispering." She was shouting at him again. He ignored her. "So yeah listen, please,_ please_ don't mention it to anybody else –_especially Edward!_ Oh, C'MON! You know what he'll be like!" Silence. "Well, it'll be like that again! You'll just end up making yourself upset with this Rose! Ugh, like I have to explain! Just- NO! DON'T YOU DARE! Okay, just... exactly. Keep it quiet. Promise? Okay, bye Babe." He shut the phone, and pushed it back into his pocket. He grinned, "Where were we?"

"Uh... Emmett? Why was it such a big deal not to let anyone know? What would be the problem if they did?"

"Your story. Then mine." He said sternly, then laughed. I carried on telling him, missing out a lot of the crazy details about missing them –i.e. the hallucinations, the drawings. He seemed totally fascinated by what I was telling him, but I was just anxious to hear about the Cullens. Like Jake, he was surprised by the idea of my power. "So, what I saw earlier, that was your power?" I nodded. "Awesome, didn't suspect 'Ella' was a vampire for a second, till it went all weird." He chuckled.

"So tell me, about... The Cullens. Not to pry or anything..." I said quickly, worried about sounding too desperate.

"Bella," He chortled, "I walked in on you, in my house, looking through our mail-"

"I told you I wasn't!"

He laughed, "Anyway, how could I _possibly _suspect you of prying into the reclusive Cullen family's life?" I felt like blushing, and I guess on some extent I did, kind of like the crying.

"Tell me what has happened," I said, forgetting all embarrassment.

"Well," He started significantly. "We left."

"Really? I hardly realized," I snapped. Emmett of all people couldn't escape my mood. He scowled.

"Seriously, I had to start somewhere," He shrugged. "I guess you know why..." He muttered. I _thought_ I did, but today, everything had been thrown out of balance. I didn't say that yet, maybe it would become evident in his story. "So yeah, we left, and we went to Denali for a while, to see our cousins. Nothing spectacular about that, yeah?" Emmett had a very dramatic way of telling stories, I realized. I tried hard not to roll my eyes. "Wrong! Edward Cullen, of all people, becomes like a zombie. The guy that made us leave! Think about it!" Oh, I had. "So we were like, 'What the hell, Edward?' And he was like 'Oh, I still love Bella,' And we were like 'WTF?' So he basically died for a few months, _as you do_. And ever since then, he has been, and I've been the one to come collect the mail!"

I tried not to register what he said. I tried as hard as I could, but paired with everything else I had found today, it was becoming harder to try. Edward had left because he didn't love me. End of. But...

"Emmett? He doesn't love me."

Emmett just frowned at me, like I was trying to tell him the sky wasn't blue. "Sure he does." He said.

"No," I laughed without humour. "He doesn't."

"Bella, did you not find anything of importance in this house today?" He said patronizingly. "Well, actually anything _other_ than me? Of course, I am important, but something else you could believe in?" I pulled out the sheet of paper from my pocket, hesitantly, sheepishly. Emmett took it, reading it over quickly. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, "Men!" I thought I heard him mutter. "Anything else?" I bit my lip. He held out the shattered jewellery box, and its former contents. I didn't want to look at it.

"Tell me about before you left," I whispered.

"Well, it's pretty obvious Edward's intentions, from the pieces of paper. He was planning on asking you at your birthday party, but again, from the paper, you can tell he was nervous. He chickened out at the last moment, afraid you would reject him. That's when the Jasper incident happened –which by the way he feels sorry about, and if he knew you were here he'd be telling me to apologize for him, seriously," He rolled his eyes again. "So anyway, after that happened, Ed got into a panic, feeling that everything could go wrong. We had told him the simplest option –to change you- but he would no longer listen, even though before the incident, I'm sure he secretly planned on that happening _sometime_. But he'd had all this-" He shook what used to be a box around in his hand- "Sent away to be engraved and things, but it came late, came back wrong... Lots of things happened. I'm surprised you didn't notice his frustration about it. He'd come home from school, only to find something had gone wrong with it..." He shook his head. "And now." We are left with the simple problem of what to do with you," Emmett said menacingly, though he was only joking.

_Rosalie_. I thought, holding back a giggle. "Sorry, what?" I laughed. Emmett looked terrified, for the first time. _Alice._ "You'd better not leave Bella, after Edward already mucked this up," I laughed again.

"Stop that," Emmett scowled.

_Esme. _"Or what? You can't order your Mother around, Emmy. Even if I _am_ only your adopted Mother."

"Bella," He growled.

I changed back to normal, "Yeah, Emmet?"

"Don't do that again." He frowned. "Seriously, wha-"

"_Seriously, _said by _Emmett?_ Okay, this _has _to be serious." I laughed. He kept on scowling at me. "Okay, sorry, carry on." I whispered, trying not to laugh again.

"What are we going to do about you? I mean, it's only a matter of time before Alice finds out, either by Rose, or... She'll have already seen it! Oh, CRAP!" A car could be heard, streaming up the long driveway.

"Alice'll make a scene," I whined.

"Yep," Emmett grinned tightly as a pixie hurtled through the front door.

"BELLA CULLEN, COME AND SEE ME, NOW!" She shouted, surprising me with the name. For all they knew, I was Bella Black, or Bella _Newton._ Or still just Bella Swan, dating someone _human_. I obliged anyway, with a sigh, I walked down the stairs. Alice was quicker. She rain up the stairs, running into my legs from a few steps down. This, in turn caused me to fall forward, landing on her and throwing us both back to the bottom of the stairs. She stood up quickly and fluidly, while I was left staring around in wonder. "Bella!!" She shrieked, trying to plough into me again as soon as I was up. This time, I was ready for her. She hugged me with so much strength I was tempted to give her a taste of her own medicine. _Vampire strength,_ I reminded myself quickly. "I'm so sorry," She said into my jacket.

"What for?" I asked, frowning.

"Well, first of all, for leaving you. We all are, especially Edward. Then for leaving you to be a vampire, without any help! By the way, I saw your attempt at hunting –pathetic." She laughed, before turning serious. "But I suppose it was what was to be expected... Damn my arsehole brother!" She yelled at nobody.

"HEY!" Emmett yelled from upstairs.

"Not _you,_" She grumbled. "But we'll have this all sorted out. I _know _it. But first..."

I sighed, "I suppose you want to hear what happened to me?"

"No, I know," Alice said, sounding confused.

"Alice! Why the _hell_ didn't you come?! I missed you, I _needed you!"_

She grimaced. "Jasper got the truth of my visions out, sensing my mood and all. I _was _actually going to come, but Jazz said I shouldn't. I was still going to come though, he didn't see the extent of it," She growled. "Besides, it's only been two days!"

"Yeah, still missed you like hell," I muttered. Emmett came down the stairs then.

"So, it seems you have made progress on what we are doing, girls?"

Alice's forehead furrowed in confusion, "Why? We have Bella, she _clearly_ wants him back, vice versa, and there are no safety problems anymore! What do we need to think about?"

"Alice, think about it. The guy's been a wreck since the day we left. Now, it turns out that after we left, she got into danger and was changed anyway. His so many months were in vain. He won't take _that_ too easily. Plus, he didn't even know Victoria was here, he was tracking her, so he'll be pissed about that. Then there's the self-loathing. He'll want to kill himself for putting you through all this."

"And," I whispered, swallowing. "I don't know yet if I can afford that sort of trust. I know you guys know your brother well, but what if he's not as upset as it would seem? How do I know he's not going to run off again? I'm sorry, I mean, there is nothing I want more than _him_ right now, but it's been _months._ I hardly expect someone like_ him_ to still be head-over-heels for a human. Oh, no! What if he doesn't like me as a vampire! What if he only liked me because I was human?! What if-"

"Sorry Bella, but. Shut. Up." She was glaring at me, "First of all, Edward's not as good an actor as he wants everyone to think. You try telling _me_ he wasn't _upset,_ in the least! Secondly, don't think my brother is so fickle. Even if you were long gone, I doubt there would be anyone else. Thirdly, he's not shallow. He did like you when you were human, but it wasn't _why_ he liked you. Have faith in yourself, Bella!"

"All the same," Emmett said, "I still don't think bringing her back, all happy and different is such a good idea."

"But he'll-" Alice started.

"I know he'll want to see her, but it just isn't a good idea. The guy can only take so much new information before he combusts," Emmett said thoughtfully, for a change.

Alice didn't seem happy with what was being said, but she didn't argue on that. "Plus, Bella's _trust_ issues," She rolled her eyes. "So what can we do? Personally, I don't want to leave you here, Bella." Alice looked like she would have tears in her eyes, the way she was looking at me.

"I don't want you to leave me either, Alice." I actually _did_ cry. Though I thought she knew everything, Alice looked surprised.

"What the...?"

I waved a hand dismissively, still crying. "Illusion human," I groaned. Suddenly, her eyes widened.

"Wow... Can I see?" She asked.

"Alice! I thought you knew everything?"

"I do! Well... not _everything,_ but, I haven't actually _watched _it happen properly. All I know is that you're a shape-shifter... Kinda."

_Alice. _I thought, getting kind of sick of showing everyone...

"What the f...f!?" Alice said, "Huh, that's kinda weird. Did you have to use me as your first choice? Anyway, I knew you could do _that,_ but 'illusion human'? Does that mean that..."

"Yep, I can change almost everything vampire about me; my appearance, my temperature –though only slightly- my smell, kind of the graceful thing..."

"Awesome." Was all she said in response. "Wait... Oh my God, why didn't we think of this!? Of COURSE!! Bella, your talent is infallible, right?"

"Um...it can fade away, if I focus on other things more, but if I think about it a lot, then depending on the illusion, nobody can tell it's me."

"Excellent," She grinned.

"Uh... What's going on? What have you decided on?"

"Nothing, yet. I got a plan, though."

"What is it?" Emmett and I said in unison.

"Bella..." She looked me up and down speculatively. "Want to meet Edward again?"

**AN: So I have a plan for Alice's plan... Kinda. Any ideas anyone? I have the sort of way I'm going, just... IDK! I will keep writing though, feel free to tell me if there's anything you don't like... Or do like :P**

**Thankyou for reviewing, favouriting, as usual! xD**

**Rachee (: x**


	13. Plan & 'Catherine'

I was beyond excitement. This feeling was _much_ stronger. Though I didn't want to be the wet blanket, I had tried to complain as Alice shoved me into the car. What would I say to Charlie? I couldn't exactly tell him I was going away with the Cullens to get back together with Edward, he'd flip. Alice wouldn't hear any more of my worries, so I just sat in the comfortable, sparkly yellow Porsche, giving her worried looks. It really was a nice car, I wondered how she acquired it. Emmett followed in his old red pickup. Alice still hadn't told me or Emmett her plan yet, and it was getting frustrating.

"Call Charlie." She said suddenly. I looked down at my phone, then back up at her.

"What will I say?" I asked.

"Uh... what could excuse you from school for the rest of the week?"

"Week?!" I gasped, "Alice, _what_ are you planning?"

A small smile was fighting to show on her face, but only the corner of her mouth turned up slightly. "You'll see." I decided she wouldn't tell me for a while, so I dismissed it.

"Right. Charlie." I thought about it... I couldn't say I was ill, I'd be at home. I couldn't be at Jessica's, we'd need to go to school. A holiday...? I could see Alice scowling at me as I twisted my hands uneasily.

"Ohh!" She growled, snatching the phone. She dialled a number, before holding the phone to her ear. "Hello, is that Miss Cope?" Miss Cope? I frowned, confused. "Yes, good. I'm actually calling on behalf of Charlie Swan? Yes, just to say that Isabella needs to be excused from school for the rest of this week. Yes. Um..." She looked at me quickly. "Yes, personal reasons. As far as I know, she'll be back to school next week. Yes. Oh, I'm her..." She looked at me again, trying not to laugh. "Her Aunt. Yes, I will do. Okay, thank you. Bye bye now." The hung up, then passed me the phone. "Simple."

"Okay, you've proved your point. What's my _'personal reason'_ that I have to tell Charlie?"

"Can't you tell him you're going away with me?" She looked hurt. I shook my head, eyebrows raised sceptically.

"Do you think he particularly likes the Cullens?" I smiled grimly. If she looked sad before, she looked worse now.

"I guess it's to be expected," She mumbled sadly. I instantly felt the urge to hug her; although I knew otherwise, she looked so small and helpless when she was sad. Just then, as though to remind us, the phone rang. Charlie. I answered, after looking searchingly at Alice, who just shrugged.

"Hey Dad." I tried not to sound too excited.

"Bella? Where are you? You should've got home ages ago." He was trying to conceal panic in his voice, but was failing miserably.

"Dad. I'm sorry, I should really stop doing things so impulsively, but I'm taking another break." I looked at Alice, to see if she could see Charlie buying it. She thought, then nodded. I heard Charlie draw in a wistful breath at the other end of the line.

"That's... that's okay, Bells, I understand. Who are you with?"

"Uhh..." Who _could _I be with? "Angela." Charlie never saw her, and I was only gone for a few days.

He didn't notice my thought, "Okay, so long as you're safe. Where are you going?"

"Sequim." The town randomly came into my head, it would do.

"Okay. Please, don't be away too long- wait, does the school know?"

"Yeah, I said at school today. They're okay with it."

"Okay honey, come home soon." I hung up, staring at Alice in awe.

"Wow, I can't believe he believed me!" I shook my head, shocked. Alice laughed, but didn't say anything. I looked into the side mirror to see Emmett's Jeep close behind us. I was surprised at how fast it was going, considering the speed Alice was driving at. I then became aware that the car was slowly decelerating. Alice indicated to turn right, as though to park. Emmett did the same. They did park, in a little space off the side of the road. Alice got out the car, leaving me staring in wonder. She closed her door, before peering in the window to look at me.

"C'mon! Get out!" She yelled. I hastily opened the door and followed her to Emmett's Jeep, parked a bit behind Alice's car. Emmett walked to us, walking to him.

"Alice," He whined, "Can you tell us your idea yet?"

"Yeah, I kind of need to now, for this to work..." She seemed to think for a minute. "Okay. So Emmett, you and Jazz have been going on at Edward for some time about..." She looked at me nervously.

Emmett was not as sensitive, "About finding someone else." Emmett said, raising his eyebrows. Then, his eyes widened in understanding. "Oh, RIGHT! Wow... Great plan, sis." He put his hand up to high-five her, but she ignored him. I still didn't get it. I was, however a little hurt by this, though I knew he left me long ago, and it was to be expected.

"Any luck?" I asked, trying to sound casual, but it came out to distant and professional-like to sound like I didn't care.

"Not one shark in the sea," Emmett chuckled. I was annoyed by the fact that this information pleased me.

"Until now," Alice said with that glint in her eye that told me she was scheming.

"Alice, what's going on?!"

"You really haven't guessed?" She asked innocently.

"No!"

She rolled her eyes, as did Emmett. "Okay, so Emmett went to Forks to get our mail, as he does every few months. But I'd been missing Forks, so this time I wanted to come too, so I did. Emmett got a fright, and we started having competitions in the woods nearby, to prove Emmett _wasn't _a chicken. While there, we met a lovely vampire called Catherine," She gestured at me, "Who had been changed some time ago and had tried using the 'vegetarian' way of life. She desperately needed help, being a vampire with no guidance and all, so we took her in to live with us for a while, thinking of _Edward._" She explained methodically.

"Bu-" Emmett started.

"And Emmett won the competition," She carried on. It all made sense, though I wasn't sure whether I liked the idea.

"So... you're basically setting me up on a date with Edward, only it won't be me, it'll be Catherine?" She nodded, beaming. "Alice, that is the _thickest_ idea of all time. How will he feel, after dating 'Catherine', she turns out to be the human he dumped last autumn? Run for the hills, Edward Cullen! Or what if he falls for my illusion? Would I have to keep it up all eternity, keeping him with me? Alice, it won't work."

"Look, either that, or you fall in love with Emmett," She snapped.

"WHAT!?" Emmett and I yelped in unison. I looked at him after, first disgusted, then worried I might have offended him. "Okay, Alice, the Catherine idea isn't that bad. But... I have a better idea. I'm still going to be Catherine, and you can keep all the stuff you made up about happening in Forks, but you're not setting Edward and I up. I'm going to come as a family friend, like your new friend, other than Rose, of course."

"No, you can still be my best friend," She said sternly. "Time, and you have changed, but we're still best friends, no matter what." She smiled.

"Okay, but apart from you and Emmett –oh, and call Rosalie about this later- just pretend like I'm Catherine, and leave me to it." Alice looked annoyed she didn't get to be match-maker, but I think she knew, as well as anybody that I would be the best person to sort this out for now. "And don't tell anyone else! Unless they get suspicious –most likely Jasper- we can't let him even suspect it. And he would be pissed if everyone knew but him."

"Okay," They both said. "Y'know Bella, I think I'll like your talent, it means I get to give you makeovers without wasting precious cosmetics!" Alice giggled. "Shall we create 'Catherine?'"

"Sure," I sighed.

"Okay, you just do _everything_ I say, because I can see it." She walked speculatively round me once. "Keep the hair the same... for now. Can you mess with height? Sure you can. Taller, just a little taller than you are now." I did as she asked. "Smaller, button nose. Perfect. Naturally pinker lips... Nice. Make them a bit fuller too. Different smile, different smile. Okay, amber eyes. Like you have been hunting humans for a long time, but you changed your diet a while ago... Yeah, in-between-y. Olive tint to your skin? Nah; put it back. Longer, curlier hair... Not _that _curly! Or that long! Quit it, Bella." I opened my eyes to see Alice, standing in front of me with her arms folded, looking frustrated. Emmett was by his car, trying not to laugh. I looked down, to see my brown hair, so long it was at my feet, and so curly it looked like springs.

"Aww... I like it like this! Can't I keep it?" I tried not to laugh. She scowled at me, and I got rid of the added length, till it was at my waist, with a slightly wavier curl. I decided to put black streaks through it, for the fun of it. Alice saw, and she scowled like she was about to complain, but eventually dismissed it.

"Bella?" Alice asked.

"Yep?"

"Bell tone, just as I thought. Go for silky, can you try silky?" She asked.

"Silky _what?_"

"Voice!" She said sharply, before sighing.

"How's this?" I said softly. The voice sounded like a feminine version of Edward's, slightly softer and smoother than velvet, if possible.

"Perrrfect!! Right, smell, you smell like..."

"Alice, don't you think this is a little overboard?"

"Freesias, lilac and roses!" She exclaimed, "What? No... It was yours and Emmett's plan to keep him from knowing at first anyway. Umm... Try this scent... freesias... lilac... um... Strawberry," She stepped back lithely. "Done. Perfect. EMMETT!!" She shouted, making him jump. He walked over, looking at me with wide eyes. "Can you see Bella Cullen in this image?" Alice asked slowly. I was _seriously_ going to have to stop her using that name... though I liked it.

"Hardly, except her hair, her eyes –apart from the colour- are the same, and..." He looked away, embarrassed. "Her... _figure._ I swear, I never looked at you that way, Bella! I just noticed, it looks the same..." I laughed, dismissing it. "Oh, and her smell –except, do I detect a hint of strawberries?"

"You do," Alice grinned.

"And that's about it... Though I was looking specifically for Bella. Sorry,"

"No, that's perfect, Emmett."

"Great." I grinned, though feeling internally nervous.

"OH! Make her French! Or Italian." He said.

Alice shivered, "Not Italian." She said firmly. I wondered briefly what she had against the place. "Though Bella, can you try a French accent? Still speak English, of course, just with a French lilt to it." I acquiesced.

"Like this?" Their smiles told me it was a yes.

We began walking back to the cars then, Alice saying she needed to go over some 'key fundamentals' on acting. In the car, she spoke quickly. "Now I know that when you see him, all you're going to want to do is run over and hug him, or whatever. But you know you _can't._" I rolled my eyes. She didn't miss that. "Alright, do your own thing." She sighed.

There was something I had to ask her, "Alice...? Why do you keep calling me 'Bella Cullen'?" Apart from driving the car, she practically froze.

After a long time, she spoke, "I thought you found... things... back at the house?"

"I did... but I... I don't quite understand them." My hands were twisting nervously again. I remembered how I felt, finding the note, and the ring.

She just smiled sadly. "Do you want me to tell you my recollections of it?" She asked. She didn't let me respond.

**AN: Thankyou, as always.**

**Next chapter is a flashback -Alice's point of view. **

**Rachee (: x**


	14. Alice's View

**Alice POV.**

**Flashback:**

I sat in front of the TV, in the main room. Ah, what a day. What a regular, boring day. I was absently flicking through a magazine... a fashion one I think. It was Bella's birthday soon, so unfortunately, I didn't have as much time to see the latest trend. At the minute, I had the party scene in my head, but it kept changing. I couldn't choose what would look best. And of course, nobody else had a hand in the decision, _especially_ Bella. She hated parties with a passion. Weird human. My whole _family, _of _vampires_ were excited. Speaking of which... I would enlist them into helping me decide some party things later. They were all down here, except Edward. I wondered where he'd gone. Probably to Bella's... though it was too early. I frowned.

"Jazzy?" I said, looking up at Jasper. A warm, soft wave of emotion hit me, like a breeze on a careless summer day. "Know where Edward is?" He blinked, looking around the room.

"Huh..." He hadn't noticed Edward was even gone! I giggled. It was so unlike Jasper not to notice these things, seeing as he could feel everyone's emotions around him. "Oh... it's you two." He said, looking at Emmett and Rosalie, sitting hugging each other lovingly on the other sofa. "I thought I could feel a loved up fool, it's just you two, _not _Edward." He chuckled to himself as Rose glared.

"Jaaaazz," I scowled up at him.

"Sorry," He smiled, playing with my hair. "No, I don't know where he is, you'll have to look."

"I'll do it!" Rose said smugly, standing up from the sofa and walking away from Emmett, who looked like he'd just been marooned on an island. He had Esme and Carlisle, at least, who were holding hands and whispering in each other's ears. That was cute, the love they had. I leaned into Jasper's side and began playing with his hand, tracing the scars individually; waiting for Rose to come back.

She ran back downstairs a moment later, a sheet of paper in hand. It read: _Gone out hunting; be back soon. Don't Come In! Edward. _"It was pinned on the door," She said.

"Oh my gosh!" I jumped up from my seat to inspect the sheet carefully. Definitely Edward's writing.

"Someone's hiding something!" Rose laughed, before turning to me. "Let's go look,"

"Rose! Don't be intrusive!" Esme said, but she had dashed off again, leaving me standing there indecisively. Esme could see that in my eyes, no doubt. "Alice," She said sternly. I looked at her pleadingly, before running after Rose. I found her standing outside his door, waiting. She had a wicked grin on her face.

"What do you think it is?" She wondered, "Maybe he kidnapped Bella," She laughed. I didn't but instead I pushed the door open carefully. Obviously, there was nobody inside. The room looked the same as always, but something was different, I just couldn't decide what. My eyes scanned the room, desperate for the elusive difference at the edge of my mind. I knew Rose was doing the same.

Suddenly, I saw it: messiness. No matter how big or small, Edward Cullen was not the person to be untidy. There was just one offender to this rule; his desk. There were sheets of paper all over it, some crumpled, some torn, all written on. At first, I thought they were music sheets, and he was just composing a new tune. But then I saw the scratch marks – four little lines, carved into the wood, as though he'd just dug his nails in and scratched it. Upon further inspection, it became evident he had. Music couldn't be that frustrating, especially for Edward –it was his _escape_ from stress. Exactly those emotions radiated from the lines, worry and stress. I gently picked up one of the sheets of paper, no longer just curios, but concerned too. Rosalie did the same, and started to read hers immediately. I watched her first, to see her reaction. First, her eyes widened in surprise. Then she began tilting the paper, moving it to and away from her face, as though she didn't understand it. Then, with wide eyes she handed me it, taking the one I had, though I hadn't even read it. It looked like a letter of some kind, or a plan.

_Bella._

_I know the past few months with me haven't been easy. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've put you through, but I'm afraid I don't think I can survive without y_

_Carlisle once told me, shortly after he met Esme, that love, especially for my kind is an unchangeable force. I didn't really see how that made sense: till I met you. I don't know how you feel, but_

_Will you marry m_

I gasped in shock. Oh my God. Edward was going to propose to Bella! I couldn't contain my happiness and excitement. It was so... so CUTE! There was more on the sheet.

_You might think it's foolish of me to ask you when you're so young, when we've only known each other for a few months, but Bella, you've changed me. Vampires can't undo a change like that, so there is nobody I want but you. I know it's cruel to ask you this, to take your love away from you so soon in your life, but please, tell me how you feel about me. I can leave you if you don't want me, and to be honest you shouldn't want me. What I'm asking is; will you marry me Bel_

Aww... It was heart-warming. I mean, I always knew he felt that way about her, but this was just wonderful, perfect. At last, I would have Bella to call my sister, and know it to be true. At last, the last of Edward's misery would be gone. At last, everything would be perfect, and wonderful, and perfect, and...

Goodness, I was hyperventilating. Rose looked at me with worry and confusion. I waved my hands in front of my face like I was crying. "It's just... amazing! I can't believe it Rose! I mean, WOW. OH, dibs on maid of honour! No, wait, dibs on arranging it!" She didn't argue, but she looked more like she was trying not to explode in laughter.

Finally, it got free, "He's marrying a HUMAN!" She giggled, putting her hand up to her mouth. The laughter didn't stop.

I stopped bouncing, which until that moment I hadn't realized I had been, and glared up at her. "Rose." I growled. She didn't hear me over the laughing. "Rose!" I yelled, making her stop instantly. "We all know what you think of Bella. But, we also know _why_. Don't make me stoop to having to remind you of it." I raised my eyebrows. "We all know that your judgement of Bella is clouded, because of _what_ she is, but deep down, you're happy for them, too, and you know it. It isn't as funny to you as you want me to think, either, so stop laughing, and _be excited with me_!"

Rose let that conversation drop immediately, confronted with her weaknesses. "He hasn't chosen what to say yet... Opinions?!" She smiled.

"Oh yes." I smiled, looking at the other sheets. There weren't that many filled with writing coherent enough to decide upon. Rose began writing on the sheet I'd read. Instead, I picked up another sheet, essentially empty and started putting an idea of my own down.

_Try this one, Edward. __:D _

_Bella_

_I love you. I __have __always loved you, and I __will __always love you._ _Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars–points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. I love you too much to lose the brilliancy you bring into my life, the beauty you hold, captivating me. _

_And you can ad-lib from there!__ (:_

_So excited and happy for you! Though, you could've said earlier, I can't believe I didn't see this! You planned that! _

_Lots of love, Alice xxx_

To be honest, I had no idea what he could say. That was the sort of thing _I'd _like to hear, but we all know Bella and I are different. I didn't read what Rose wrote, but I was sure it was something nice, something only a sister like her could say to a brother like him… When they were being friendly. Rose looked through the other sheets passively, before freezing. She widened her eyes in fright.

"Edward!" We both said in unison. We put the sheets down on the desk, Rose tried to get them perfect, with no change, but I had to pull her away, he was more likely to notice _us_ in his room than a bit of paper out of place.

"Alice! Rosalie! Get _out _of my room!" Came an angry snarl from downstairs.

"Aw, crap." I whimpered. "Hey Eddie!" I called, silently closing the door. _Oh, crap, Rose!_ I'd shut her in. I flung the door open quickly to see her pick up one of the papers. "_What are you doing! C'mon, Get out quick!" _I whispered, though it was too late anyway. By the time he got upstairs to us, we were standing by the door, I was fiddling with the note he'd stuck on the door, trying to put it back on. If we weren't in danger of losing bridesmaid privileges, it would be comical.

"Alice." He groaned, looking at us angrily, with a hint of… despair?

"Oh, hey, Edward. Um… we were just looking at the sign on your door… Secretive, huh?" I tried to laugh.

"Yeah… Has your handwriting got neater?" Rosalie asked him. I didn't know whether to laugh or hit her. Dumb blonde. At least she wasn't taunting him or hissing at him… she was being… _nice._ Edward surprised me by chuckling.

"You are _such_ bad liars." He held his hand out for the paper Rosalie had. She reluctantly handed it over. He read over it quickly, panic striking his face, before fading to the calm mask again. "Hm." He smiled absently.

"EDWARD!" I squeaked, running over to hug him. He awkwardly accepted the hug.

"What brought this on?" He asked, bewildered.

"Uh, only your engagement!" I shouted half of it, before I felt his hand cover my mouth.

"Shh! Okay, okay. You two are in it. I didn't think I'd be able to stop that… But you don't say to anyone. Ever." I could feel my face fall ever so slightly. "Al-"

"Can we be bridesmaids?!" I asked, cutting him off.

He ran a hand through his hair agitatedly. "Look… I don't know if… I'm not sure about this yet. And I don't even know what she'll say!"

"What, don't you love her?" I scowled up at him. Unfortunately, I couldn't see her answer either, she hadn't been asked, and had never thought of it.

"That's the problem! I'm scared…"

"Yes?" Rosalie smirked.

"I'm scared she'll say no. I'm scared of what I'm taking away from her. I'm _terrified-_"

"Edward Cullen." I snapped. "Bella loves you, face it. She'll say yes. I know it." I didn't, but I had a good feeling she would –why wouldn't she? "Buuut… If you're worried about how to do it… We-" I looked at Rose, who was still smirking. I could guess that she wouldn't be helpful, at the moment. "_I_ would be willing to help you!" I said in a singsong tone.

"Alice…" He said, looking like I'd just hurt him. "I… I'll have a think about it, what to say, y'know. I'll call on your help later… If needed." He took a deep sigh, and pushed through Rose and me into his room. He shut the door quickly afterward. Rose was giggling again. I just scowled at her.

"I-I'm sorry! I just-can't believe! All this!" She choked between laughs. She took a deep breath, and tried to stop. "Okay, okay. Sorry." She stopped, finally. We walked downstairs, trying not to give anything away. The rest of the family looked surprised and curious, but none of them enquired. I guessed Jasper knew, he would be able to feel the excitement coming from me, and the love –and frustration- from Edward.

Bella's birthday was tonight. I had everything set up to make it look perfect. Even _Bella_ couldn't complain. Edward was still tense. He hadn't actually made his mind up whether he could do this or not, but if he did, he was thinking about reading what I'd suggested. Yay! (:

Soon enough, they would come here, and marvel at my decorations, Bella would open her presents –and like them- and Edward _should_ propose. It was so darn sweet!

So, since they were on their way, I finished arranging some of the flower decorations, and waited. I could hear a car driving toward the house. Seven o'clock exactly. I gathered the rest of the family, and we stood in front of the door. _Somebody_ had told Emmett about Edward's plan, and in turn, he told the rest of the family. Everyone knew. I wouldn't be surprised if Tanya or the Volturi called, wishing him good luck. No, the Volturi weren't to know, not until Edward _finally_ changed Bella. Not that it was on anybody's list to visit them, or care to let them know. Esme and Carlisle were absolutely thrilled, almost as much as I was. At least now they also knew what was in that same package that appeared every week. That's right. He'd sent his mother's engagement ring away to get it engraved. I would have to say it's been the fourth time they got it wrong. Not once had it came back saying; _'Forever Yours'._ It was romantic, of course. But then again, it was Edward. I wondered how he'd react to finding out they had sent it back –incorrect _again._ If the engravers were closer to town –nothing was too perfect for him, not even the best nearby jewelers, which might as well have been in Europe- he probably would have got the ring around the guy's neck. Seriously, did Bella not notice his stress?

"Here they are, guys," I whispered to them, as though we were in the army, rather than in a party. Edward opened the door for Bella, and she stepped cautiously inside, just as we shouted "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BELLA!" I'm sure _I_ said it loudest.

Ugh, Bella's birthday was _awful_. I've never been so ashamed, embarrassed, worried and upset at the same time. Jasper was probably going through hell, since everyone else felt exactly the same, _especially _him. Not that anybody blamed him. It was a simple accident. I guess I could see Edward's point about Bella's safety, at the moment at least. If he hadn't gotten in the way, Jazz would have got her, all because a paper-cut. Now was not the time for a vampire celebration parade.

And to make matters worse, Edward had chickened out! I know, terrible. Of course, nobody could say anything to him, considering the paper-cut incident. He hasn't been himself for ages, even Bella could see that. I wondered what he was planning often, but he hasn't made a solid decision. How unfair that he won't tell me. Maybe he's going to change Bella… No, he's far too stubborn to change his mind now.

It was some days later, when a vision burst through my clouded foresight. I was walking through the school halls, with only Jasper at my side when it happened. The strength and surprise of what I saw made me freeze in the middle of the hallways. Jasper knew I'd had a vision, and found out soon enough. I made sure nobody was around, especially Bella or anyone else of my family.

"We-we're leaving Forks. W-without Bella… _For her?_" I gasped, tottering back. It wasn't often that Jasper had to deal with me falling over, but he caught me, like I knew he would.

**AN: Hey, sorry if it's beginning to sound 'out there' and weird... :/  
But if it's not, I worry too much :D :P  
Please, let me know if it's getting rubbish, Kay? Thankyou.****  
****Cheers for the interest, means muchos (: Keep on showing interest? No...? Okay. ............Please? :P**

**Rachee (: x**


	15. The Musician

"And that's basically my recollections," Alice grinned up at me from the driver's seat.

"So... You're saying that he left for me? How does that work?" I asked, wondering whether now was the time to believe her or not.

"Well... You know about the... paper-cut incident." I could see her try hard not to call it the Jasper incident. That would be mean. I hope he still didn't think about it, he was long forgiven.

"I was there," I nodded, raising my eyebrows, encouraging her to carry on. She rolled her eyes.

"Well, you also saw how Edward was after it. He wanted us to leave, so that you would be out of danger from vampires. Of course, he didn't gamble on Victoria coming back." She said the last sentence through her teeth, still angry. I briefly wondered what would have happened if Victoria hadn't got to me that day. I probably wouldn't have met Emmett and Alice again... I was glad Victoria was there to do what she did at the time, but I would never wish for her return. "It was a stupid idea on his part, but he meant well. And he hated every day of it." I nodded, mouth hanging slightly open. Alice's story had hit home. I didn't feel well thinking about that day, or the times around it. I especially didn't like hearing about Edward in pain. Yet, something told me I wouldn't be able to believe it till I could see it.

It only occurred to me then that I had no idea where we were going. If I didn't know any better, Alice and Emmett could've been leading me off to kill me. Though I trusted them with my life, the thing was, I _didn't_ know better. I didn't think they were going to kill me, though. "Alice, where exactly do you Cullens live nowadays?" I looked around for any ideas. I hadn't seen this road before.

"Just around this corner." She smiled as she watched my face explode with shock. Oh, no. I was going to see the rest of the Cullens again. I was going to see Edward again. Edward wasn't going to see Bella, though. Not yet.

I must have been getting better at the illusion, as soon as I felt the shock, when I started speaking again it was a strong French accent. It surprised me a little, coming out. My voice was _entirely _different. "Round the corner?" I choked. She nodded. It felt like my face was paling. "Oh my gosh! ALICE! What if he can read my mind?! What if he can't, and he recognises the silence?" I panicked.

"Keep your thoughts in check, just in case he can, and if he can't, Emmett and I would never have noticed, and neither would you, so pretend like you don't know anything about talents, other than mine." She said sharply. Obviously, I'd caused her worry, too. "Oh, and Bella? You _don't _have a talent, right?" I nodded. "C'mon then, let's go." I realised then that the car had stopped, outside a large –larger than the Cullen's Forks residence- cream white building, with red-brown wooden extensions. "What do you think, Cathy?" Alice asked. I recognized that to be my 'name'.

"Wonderful," I said truthfully, staring up at the tall building with wide eyes. Suddenly, a hand clapped on my shoulder. I didn't get a fright.

"Damn." Said Emmett, walking toward Alice.

"Let Catherine explain her life, don't you go butting in with some false detail." Alice said to him, scowling. Catherine, Cathy, I was going to have to get used to these names, no not to slip up.

"Okay," He smiled. "Shall we go inside?" Alice nodded, while I continued to stare at the house. It was magnificent. I looked at the windows, for any sign of life. There was a light on downstairs. All the other lights were out. There was a window, at the very top of the building with dark grey curtains, and no light whatsoever seemed to be getting through. I shivered as I wondered whose room it was.

Alice grabbed my hand, more gently than necessary and pulled me to the door. "Jasper! Carlisle! Esme! Rosalie! ...Edward!" She yelled as she opened it. A second later, there were four people in front of us; Jasper, Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie. They all smiled at Alice and Emmett, before they all looked at me curiously –except Rosalie, who grinned at me, shockingly. I felt like I was going to fall over, just looking at them. The Cullens. Well, most of them, anyway.

"Alice!" Esme cried, going over to hug her. She smiled warmly at me, despite the fact that I was a 'stranger' in her house. "Who's your friend?" She asked Alice.

"...I am Catherine." I tried to sound shy, and it worked.

"Nice to meet you, Catherine," Esme smiled, holding her hand out for me to shake it. I shook it, noticing her inspecting gaze. I realized they were a little wary of me. A human, that was okay, but a _vampire..._ Nobody trusts you. Carlisle took her place, doing the same, shaking my hand, looking at me with wary eyes. Jasper and Rosalie were next. They surprised me by pulling me into a hug. I felt my eyes widen, which was natural for both me and my 'alter-ego'.

"Hey, Bella," Jasper whispered, so quiet only I would hear. Of course, he would have put two and two together. I couldn't hide my emotions, and Alice wouldn't have hidden her happiness from him. It was easy for him. I just hoped Edward wouldn't find it easy.

"Bella, at last, you're not a human," Rosalie whispered, also only for my ears. "We _must _catch up sometime." I wondered the reason for all the friendliness. Carlisle and Esme looked bemused by their children's warm welcomes, but didn't question it.

"We must all get to know you a little," Carlisle smiled. "I'm afraid I haven't heard of a vampire named Catherine."

"Shall we go...?" Rosalie gestured toward the luxurious main room.

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid my brother... can't join us... at the minute." Alice said, taking my arm and leading me toward the main room, along with the rest of the family.

"Alice, maybe you should go get him? He knows it's rude not to greet our guests." Esme suggested, signs of deep remorse on her face. Alice basically _handed _me to Esme and ran off. I prayed for her not to come back with him for a while. Esme sat down, and patted a space on the red sofa beside her.

"Would you like to tell us about yourself, Catherine?" Esme asked gently. I was about to open my mouth when Emmett spoke up first, thankfully.

"Well, as you know, I went for the post, and Alice decided to follow. When I got home, Alice snuck up on me and gave me a _shock_, not a 'fright'. In her delirium, she tried to prove that I was 'chicken', by making up lots of silly competitions in the woods. While there, we met Catherine, who I'm sure would be happy to tell you about her life." He smirked secretly at me. "Oh, and _I_ won the competitions,"

"My hero," Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Um... Hello. I am Catherine, and you know how Alice, Emmett and I met, from Emmett's story. I am awfully sorry for invading in on your lives, so I am sure you will want to hear a bit about me. Well, I cannot remember _when_ I was created exactly, but you can probably tell from my accent, it was in France. After I was changed, I lived with a vampire, whose name I do not wish to repeat. She was a cruel 'master' to me. I followed her way of life for most of my life, till I found a small coven that only fed on animals. They were friendly creatures, not bound by leadership, but because they held enough humanity to love. I truly missed the feeling, so I began to hunt with _them_ instead of my master. In the end, she found out, and in a rage she killed them, calling it "treason to our nature". I did not agree. Some years ago, we moved away from France to America. She met another coven, where she found her mate. I was left, useless to her. I don't know what happened to her after she left me, but I know what happened to me.

Though my master was cruel, she was the only thing I knew. Without her, I was lost. I tried to regain the humanity I felt when I was with the animal drinking coven, but it became difficult. I tried living in areas where there were no humans, but I would always persuade myself to go find a 'real meal' after a while. That was when I ventured to Forks. My master was there, alone and searching for me after all those years. I very nearly helped her. All she could tell me was that her mate had been killed, as had their other companion. She wanted me to help her get revenge. I fled from her before she could come after me. I do not think she tried. I know she is dead, I found her remains soon after. That was when I met Alice and Emmett. I recognized them as vampires, and I knew what the beautiful golden eyes meant. In despair, I went to them for help, and here we are. Alice accepted me instantly as her friend, she says it has to do with her... her power?" Emmett nodded. "Yes. I do not know what that means, but I trust her. Thank you for welcoming me into your home, without knowledge of me." To be honest, I hadn't realized I was talking that way till I was finished. There was absolutely no slang, not even the basic 'cannot; can't'. _Oh well, keep it up then._ I thought.

"You're only too welcome, Catherine." Esme smiled. It was difficult pretending not to know her. "I'm sorry, but we simply won't have time to go through each of our stories, you'll have to learn those from us individually." She smiled apologetically.

"Oh, no, no! It is quite alright. You have let me into your home, that is enough for me."

"...Alright. I must warn you though, I have another son, I'm sure Alice has mentioned the family members to you," I nodded. "Well, my other son is... My son Edward is not in the best of moods. I'm terribly sorry he didn't come down and greet you, and I would tell you why he is upset to the point of rudeness, but since he is _so_ upset, I don't think it's my place to do so." I just smiled in response. "Now, Alice should have come back by now, at least." She frowned at the door. A second later, Alice appeared.

"C'mon Catherine, Rose and I will show you to your room," She said as Rosalie stood up fluidly. They each hung onto one of my elbows and pulled me upstairs. "Mine and Jasper's room," Alice pointed it out on the first floor. "Rose and Emmett's, Esme and Carlisle's, and Carlisle's study is downstairs. There are two rooms on the top floor, yours, and... Edward's." She said hesitantly. "Don't worry, he says he won't bother you."

"Quite the opposite, I hope I don't bother him,"

"I liked your story, B-Catherine." Rosalie smiled. I didn't answer, I was still to shocked by her friendliness. She noticed my gaze, and smiled apologetically. "Talk about it later?" She mouthed. I nodded my head quickly.

"This," Alice said dramatically, "Is your room." We stood in the hallway, though it looked more like a metre wide split between two parts of the attic. I knew who was in the room across from my own, and it made me feel dizzy. I presumed Alice had put me here on purpose. "There is a wardrobe, full of clothes for you, makeup; basically, everything in there is now yours."

"Aw, Alice, you didn't have to-" There was a noise from the other room, and it frightened me. I wasn't ready for this. My only love was in the room across from me, how could I expect to keep this up? "Thank you Alice, Rose." I said, going into the room and closing the door. I didn't care for the clothes or the makeup. I walked slowly to the small bed and lay down, closing my eyes. I was _way_ out of my depth here. All of a sudden, as though to calm me, I could hear a piano. My Lullaby was being played. I could feel silent tears running down my cheeks. Never had I felt as part of a family as I did now, but I had also never felt so alone. The lullaby stopped, though the musician's fingers never left the last keys. The musician started playing the same song again, no matter that I silently begged him to stop. Such a painful song... though could it be cheerful? It could, but would it ever? I put my face against one of the pillows, much the same as I did at Charlie's. Tears never got a chance to run anywhere, they were instantly kidnapped by the pillow and it's cruel, incarcerating fabrics. Suddenly, the music stopped somewhere halfway through the tune. The musician went downstairs, and didn't return for the rest of the night. Now I felt confined. I was too afraid to go downstairs, but there was nowhere else to go. I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. Catherine was still there, though her face was tear-streaked. I removed them in seconds. I took another unnecessary breath, before opening the door and descending the stairs.

**AN: Thanks much, as usual. May head off now, it's late here :/  
Idk.**

**Thankyouu **

**Rachee (: x**


	16. Victoria & Armwrestles

After walking down the two flights of stairs, I was outside the main room. I opened the front door to see most of the family had gone. Alice and Jasper were still there, as was Emmett and... Edward. I avoided his gaze as much as possible, not that he looked for more than a second. I had to look around so not to show my eyes widening, and I had to try harder not to take a deep breath. I sat down quickly, as soon as I felt my knees begin shaking. Only Alice and Jasper noticed, and Alice was trying hard not to giggle at me. We sat in awkward silence for a long time. The others were probably expecting Edward and I to talk, but neither of us said a word. Instead, I took small glances at him every now and again, rememorizing him into vampire memory. His pale skin had lost its gleam, I noticed sadly. The normally lavender purple shadows around his eyes were dark indigo; his eyes were deadly black onyxes. I wondered what it would be like if I was pretending to be human right now... He looked over at me apathetically, and I realized I had been staring at the beautiful, yet broken creature before me. His eyes widened in shock. _Oh, crap._ I looked at Alice, to see if she'd noticed anything. Maybe my illusion had fallen.

"Excuse me," He said, every word cracking slightly in his once smooth velvet voice. "Do you realize you're crying?" I wiped the lonely, free-spirited tear away.

"A problem from my transformation," I murmured, scared of what my voice may reveal. He was really here. And I couldn't be with him. That was it, thus started the vampire water-works. I could hardly describe it as a malfunction now, hundreds of tears cascaded down my face. _Oh, no, oh no._ This had happened once, one night at Charlie's as a vampire. Endless amounts of tears streaming down my face often brought my illusion to a more human level, to show the effects crying would have on my face. This meant a red face and puffy red eyes. There was a high chance this would happen. I grabbed a cushion from behind me and put it in front of my face. If I could concentrate, I could stop it happening. Concentrating was difficult, of course, especially when the most beautiful, caring creature was across from me, yet I was a stranger to him.

Alice, as always was my saviour. Thankfully, she was the only one who noticed me crying, and worked to distract me. "I'm sorry for intruding, but we've had dealings with covens similar to the one you describe. Could you tell me any of their names? We need to know if... certain vampires are longer a threat."

"Victoria." I said indifferently, staring ahead. Alice, Jasper and Emmett's eyes widened at her mention, but they regained composure soon after. There was a snarl building in Edward's chest, I noticed with fright. He grabbed the TV remote and switched it off, though none of us were truly watching it.

"Tell me all that happened," He growled.

We-well, she created me in France some time ago, and when we came here, she discarded me for a new coven of two men. I do not know their names. Some years later, quite recently she came to me, near here and asked for my help. She wanted revenge for her mate's death, by striking at a _human_. I declined, for I was finally free of her. She went alone for it. I came back a few days later, to smell burning vampire. I knew it to be her. I do not know who destroyed her, but there was a thick musty, wood smell around the area, something other than a human."

"Wolves," He seethed.

"That's what I thought, but I've never met one." I agreed.

"So... Victoria is dead?" He asked. I nodded fervently.

"When you found her dead, were there any signs of a human being there?

I took a deep breath, "Yes, the girl she wanted revenge on. I checked on her –from a distance- for I didn't wish for anymore deaths at my master's hands. She was safe."

"Did she seem happy?" Alice asked, causing Edward to glare at her.

"I take it you know the girl?" I looked at the floor, like I was trying to avoid her question.

"She was like family. And to me, she still is," Alice said sadly. Edward growled lightly, and she turned to scowl at him. "Please tell me she was happy." Alice said, "Otherwise we are going back." She said under her breath.

"I- I cannot lie to you," I said, once again formal. I bowed my head.

"Oh, poor Bella!" Alice wailed. It wasn't theatrical, somehow I could tell she really was upset for me, how I felt then.

Upon hearing my name, or just hearing too much of Alice, I saw Edward's hand clench into a fist, ripping the chair's material slightly. There was a long silence as I puzzled over him. It didn't cause me tears to look at him anymore, but only barely. "I can't read your mind, Catherine." Edward said suddenly, as though discussing the weather.

"W-what?" I stammered. I briefly wondered how Alice was keeping the secret.

"I have the ability to read minds, but I can't read yours. It's strange for me, that's all."

"You know someone else who's mind you can't read," Jasper said.

"You all have magnificent powers," I remarked. "I knew about Alice's, and she told me about Jasper's, but nobody told me about yours. Do you have a power, Emmett?"

He snorted. "I'm the strongest."

"Aha, we'll see." I smiled.

"Do _you_?" Jasper asked warily.

"No, but I wish I did."

"Huh," Emmett said, "'Aha, we'll see'? Do you think you could beat me, Catherine?"

"I _know_ I could beat you, Emmett." I smirked. Newborn vampire strength did have its perks. I could finally show the toughest Cullen up.

"Want to make that a bet?" He stood up, eyeing me. He had obviously forgotten how long I'd been a vampire.

"Sure," I stood up too. "Though, I have no money."

"That's okay, loser has to do a forfeit."

"What kind of forfeit?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Embarrassing things, life-endangering things –though they're normally 'death at the hands of one of the family- those kinds of things. I'll think up something for when you lose."

"I won't lose." Emmett and I walked outside -Jasper and Alice followed- to where there was a garden bench with a table.

"Arm wrestle," Emmett said, sitting down and patting the table. A few minutes later, he remembered my vampire age. He was still trying to push my arm down, while I lazily looked around. He really seemed to be trying hard, I noticed. With a giggle, I quickly pushed his hand down on the table.

"See? I didn't lose." I tried thinking of something to dare him to do, till I noticed the shocked looks from Esme and Carlisle. They had just come back from their quick hunt, to find their strongest son bested in a strength test. They stood behind him, and he hadn't noticed them yet, he still wasn't over the fact he'd lost.

"Stupid newborn strength." He grumbled. Esme and Carlisle's eyes flashed up to me suspiciously. Damn Emmett! They heard, Edward might have heard. Everyone knew I was lying.

"Apart from, I'm not a _newborn_." I laughed. _Get the picture, Emmett._ He still hadn't noticed his parents behind him.

"Yeah you are, _'Catherine',_" He scowled menacingly.

"Hey, kids," Carlisle raised his eyebrows. Emmett jumped up with shock, his eyes showed the realization and regret he would no doubt feel. They definitely knew, I was supposed to be from long ago in France, and Catherine was obviously not my name.

"Carlisle, Esme," I smiled sheepishly up at them. They still looked suspicious, but said nothing more. They walked into the house, though I'm sure they would hear Alice yelling.

"Emmett! This was _your_ idea!"

"I didn't mean it!" He said defensively.

"Oh, well. That makes it better! How could you not notice them?! They were like, right in front of you!"

"Behind me, I do believe." He said. Alice growled, actually looking like a vampire for the first time.

"This may have worked, but you _had_ to ruin it! Typical Emmett!"

"Alice, leave Emmett alone," Rose scowled at her. "He wasn't to know."

"Yeah, and neither were _they!_" Alice said, losing a lot of anger. She knew Rose and Emmett were right, but she was just as worried as I was.

"What weren't they to know?" Came a voice from the doorway.


	17. Catherine & Edward?

Edward stood by the doorframe, looking at us with dim, lifeless black eyes. Alice stumbled for an answer, but Edward saw that in her mind. "The truth, please, Alice?"

"Butt out, Edward," Emmett laughed. "Catherine just beat me in an arm wrestle, that's all." Edward looked amused, but it was dead; false.

"She beat _you_, Emmett?" He turned to me, all signs of mocking gone. Since he couldn't hear my thought, he obviously didn't trust me. "How did you beat him? Emmett's strength is like his power. You couldn't be stronger than him." He turned back to Emmett, "Did you let her win?"

"Say yes, say yes," I could hear Alice whisper next to me. Not loud enough for Emmett to hear.

"Nope." I was surprised he told the truth, admitting defeat when everyone thought he shouldn't. Alice slapped her forehead, then looked around, as though she didn't mean to.

"Alice, what are you hiding?" He said patiently, as though no emotion could get through his tone.

"Nothing to do with you, Edward. Keep out of it." She said firmly. They glared each other down for a few minutes, until I could feel a happier, friendlier mood spread around. Alice and Edward relaxed instantly, and then glared at Jasper. He looked down at the ground and kicked the dirt. Suddenly, the added emotions disappeared.

"Emotion control, suuure. Mind control would've been better." He muttered under his breath. Edward and Alice stopped glaring at each other though. Instead, they were both looking at me. Edward looked confused, Alice just smiled. I felt around in my head for my illusion in a bout of paranoia, luckily it was still there. I wanted nothing more right now than to show Edward it was really me, wrap my arms around him. All the signs were there, all the times when I could've slipped up and became Bella again. But I knew now wasn't the time. Would there _ever_ be a right time? I didn't know for sure, but Alice seemed certain.

I could feel moisture on my cheeks, and the world was shaking a little. Earthquake and it was raining? Nope, I was crying again. The sobs were making me shake too. Everyone had looked away from me again, thankfully. I could feel Catherine's image slipping away, slowly but surely. I turned around and faced the woods. "Alice, I need to h-hunt," I said, running toward the forest. I heard her gasp quietly, before her and Rose followed me. As I got to the first of the trees I could feel his eyes on my back, more confused than ever. I hoped he would stay away from Emmett, who would spill the beans if given a chance.

I sat on a log, still crying. Catherine was entirely gone, I was Bella again. Alice and Rose joined me a second later. "Wow," Rosalie said, looking down at me.

"What?" I asked, wondering what reason Rosalie would ever have to say 'wow' to me.

"You're... you're very pretty." She smiled, looking like she would blush, if possible.

"Pfft, okay, Rosalie." I frowned.

"You were pretty as a human, too." She said sadly, before changing the subject. "Anyway... Do you really need to hunt, or did you just need to get away?"

"Both," I murmured. "Alice, is this ever actually going to happen?" I asked her, angry through the tears.

"Yes, it will, I'm sure of it." She said defiantly.

"When?!" I cried.

"I can't say, I don't know," She mumbled.

I threw my hand up in frustration. "Alice! It could be years! I wonder if you have _any_ idea how weird, and painful it is to see him like that, having the power to change it, but leaving him? I need to do something, Alice! I'm going to! I can't bear seeing him so sad!"

"Aah," She sighed, smiling.

"What now?!"

"Vision. Thanks, you've cleared so many blind spots, good choice, by the way."

"Why, what's going to happen? Alice! Tell me!" I said, as she shook her head, smiling away contentedly.

"You'll see," She froze again, looking into the future. "Ha! Perfect! Wait..." She frowned.

"What? What's happened?" Rosalie asked, while I tried not to panic. Alice ignored her.

"Huh... that's not good... where did she get... Aah!"

"What, Alice?! What happened?"

"I'm needed." She put her hand in her pocket and then pushed it toward me. The little engagement ring was there. "I'm a catalyst," She beamed.

"Uh... okay. But what do you expect me to do with it?"

"You'll see," she said again. I groaned. "Okay, I will tell you one thing to do though, remove the scent illusion. Or the voice. Either one, but keep the rest."

We went hunting then. Rosalie had just been, but Alice and I hadn't. I found it just as hard to hunt as I had before, leaving them both laughing at my attempts. That is until I reminded them I didn't get any help. "Neither did I," Alice argued, though she did apologize several times for not being there. I didn't mind, I was just glad I was back with them again. We began walking back to the house soon after, my hunting skills awful, as usual. When we got near the house, I put my illusion –except the voice- back up. "Put the ring on, Catherine?" She asked. I actually got a choice? Wow.

"Should I?" I didn't like choice.

"Sure," Rose smiled. Part of me was scared of the little piece of metal, but that part too was responsible for me putting the little ring on. There were tiny, multi-coloured gemstones lining the sides. I hadn't realized before. It was absolutely beautiful. We walked into the house through the back door. Esme was there, waiting on us. She still had a suspicious look on her face when she saw me. I couldn't help it, I acted impulsively. I ran over to hug Esme. She accepted a little awkwardly, "Hi, Esme," I said in my bell tone –but very much Bella- voice.

I felt her freeze in surprise. "B-Bella?" She whispered in my ear.

"Yes," I sighed happily. "Please, don't say anything to Edward yet, keep it quiet."

"But, what happened to you? You look so different?" She returned my hug warmly, like the ways he used to hug me.

"I'm an illusionist, of sorts. I'll explain soon. Please, just remember that for now, I'm Catherine." I smiled into her shoulder.

"Okay... Cathy," She kissed my cheek, then let go of me. "I can't believe this!" She whispered, almost bursting in joy. "Carlisle?" She asked.

I shrugged, "If you want, though same applies, keep it to yourself." I smiled as I walked off. I walked up to my room. Edward was playing the piano in his room again. I was tempted to go see him. Why not? I could think of plenty of reasons, but I let them go. He was playing my lullaby, over and over again. It was beautiful. I knocked on the door, making the melody stop instantly.

"Come in," came the wonderful, yet broken voice. I opened the door to see him sitting on the stool by the piano. He looked surprised to see me, if anything. I walked over to sit beside him on the stool. He just looked at me for a long time. I tried not to meet his gaze, but failed miserably. My eyes locked on his, and I couldn't drag them away.

"Keep playing," I gasped, enchanted by him again. He looked away, frowning and continued to play my lullaby. "Beautiful song, did you compose it?" I asked him. He just nodded. "Hm. I've heard it before... a lullaby?" He froze, the key he last hit still resonating.

"You can't have heard it."

"Mhm, I have. For your Bella, right?"

He cringed, "How would you know?"

"I know a lot."I shrugged. "'Bella's Lullaby'. Beautiful."

He looked at me, frowning, and then obviously remembered what he had to say, "What happened to your voice?"

"You've only just noticed?" I laughed. "And I thought _I_ was oblivious,"

Suddenly, he was gone from in front of me, instead standing at the other side of the room. "Who-who are you?!" He stammered, gaining some emotion.

"Who do you think I am?" I smiled sadly, looking away. A tear rolled down my cheek; he would know soon, would he still love me?

"You remind me of... You act like you're..."

"I suppose if you believed vampires had souls, you would have looked close enough; you would have seen me sooner, because I'm always here. _Forever Yours_."

He froze entirely, eyes wide. "It...It's you." He whispered. I nodded, allowing the illusion to disappear as tears built up. Suddenly, he was next to me, back on the piano stool. I was in his arms crying into his shoulder, next thing I knew. After a few minutes, he put a soft, gentle finger under my chin. "I don't know how you did it, but you hid from me," He looked into my eyes, his own onyx ones filled with remorse... and joy?

"You left me," I retorted through tears, still holding onto him tightly. "Plus, I didn't know how you felt about me. Your once human ex-girlfriend comes to visit, still a wreck after the breakup?" Pain shot across his eyes.

"Did anyone tell you the real reason I left?" I nodded. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you more," I smiled, stroking his cheek lightly with my fingers, the hand with the ring on it. He carefully captured my hand to look at it.

"Hmm, they got it right, at last," He smiled. "Do you like it?" He looked up at me.

"It's beautiful, _and_ it means I have you forever. I love it." I smiled at it. "Not any time soon, though. I want to get through my first high school first. Plus, we've only really been reunited for around... ten minutes."

"I understand," He smiled, though there was a hint of worry, or sadness in his features. Suddenly, his eyes sparkled. "Would you like to go to a meadow? Not quite like ours, but it is just as good, you'll love it," I smiled and nodded, rather than a vocal response. He kept hold of my hand and carefully pulled me out of the room.

**AN: Hey, thanks, as usual.  
AT LAST! ExB! :D :D Hope it's good. (:  
****Sorry if this sounds off, I wrote impulsively, till I thought, 'I'll make Alice give a suggestion as to what happens next, and use that'. Alice's ideas have to be my ideas first... I'm going crazy :P**

**Rachee (: x**


	18. Loving Edward Cullen

We walked hand in hand through the forest toward the new meadow. I knew I wanted to do more, hug him, kiss him, but it just didn't seem right. It felt like he was the impossible entity of my nightmares –or dreams. The one I would reach out to kiss, before he would disappear in a cloud of smoke. As long as he stayed, I was happy just holding his hand. We got to them meadow then. Edward was right; it was just as nice as our meadow back home in Forks. I walked slowly into the middle of the small circle. "Tell me everything that happened after we left." He murmured.

I wanted to keep it light, but it was hard. I would miss out a lot of details, or give him a lot of mysteries. "I spent most of my time..." I bit my lip. I didn't want to make him upset by telling him all I did was mope. "With Jacob, and his werewolf friends. They sort of eased the pain. But that all ended when Jacob got upset at me after a cliff diving incident, when he found out _why_ I did it. I spent my time alone after that. Until Jacob called again. Turns out, he imprinted on Jessica Stanley from school, and that's why he wanted me to come round. When I got back home, there was a note from Victoria, saying that unless I gave myself up, she would kill the wolves, and I suspected others around me too. So that's what I did. I went to meet her in the woods, and she attacked me. I started bleeding, so she bit me when the wolves came and saved me. I woke up three days later, and carried on my life as normal." It appeared Edward had gone into shock. I waited patiently for him to speak.

"You... you would have sacrificed yourself for _wolves?_" He growled, "And why did you go _cliff diving_? Didn't you promise to stay safe?"

"Well, I broke my promise, but so did you. Not that I mind..." I smiled.

"If you would stay safe, I would keep my promise." He said sadly.

"Don't go," I whispered, suddenly terrified.

"I won't. But tell me, why did you go cliff diving?"

I didn't want to tell him, but he would know if I was lying. "I could hear... your voice. When I did stupid things, y'know... like a delusion." If he looked shocked before, this was an entirely new level of it.

"Bella, you nearly died to hear me. Nearly got _killed_. Nearly died," He said, as though I was no longer there. He just stared into space. "Please, never try to hurt yourself again. I love you too much to lose you." He whispered.

"That depends on what happens to you," I mumbled.

"Never think that either," He growled. He took a deep breath, and changed the subject. "So, how did I not recognize you before?"

"My power," I grinned. "I'm an illusionist, or for better words a shape shifter." His eyes widened slightly.

"Why would you want that? To change your beautiful image?" I blushed at the compliment. "And this?" He stroked my cheek lightly, "This isn't vampire,"

"And the tears, too." I reminded him. "I can create a perfect human illusion, too, without even wanting to sometimes. Like the blush and the tears, I don't have to think about them, like everything else. And there's another thing," I wanted to see his reaction to _this_, it would be funny. I pulled away from him a little and pulled my wrist up to my mouth. His eyes just about popped out when he watched me bite into my wrist.

"Bella!?" Same as before, there was nothing but a small, empty hole in my arm, but Edward saw otherwise. He wasn't breathing.

"It's not there, you realize." I laughed, raising an eyebrow. He looked up then, stunned. "Illusion." I grinned.

"Don't do that again, please," He said, looking annoyed. There was a long silence as I got lost in his eyes again. He looked away eventually, secretly smirking.

"So... What have you been doing since... since you left?" I asked indifferently.

"Nothing at all, really. I tracked Victoria for a little while, but I was awful at it." I looked away, upset. He really had been feeling bad about leaving, I felt awful for doubting him in any way. "I wish... I wished in every day of my existence since we left, that I had never done so. But I also hoped, no, believed you were safe without me. That was the only thing that kept me away, though only barely. Every second I remembered you, I felt the same icicles in my heart as I had the day I left you. Not only that, but I also felt the ghost of the pain in my throat which was always induced by your presence. That alone could have caused me to kill myself; I was so sickened by the thought of hurting you." He closed his eyes sadly. I was surprised that he was opening up to me, telling me about the pain he had strongly fought against in silence. It was sad for his pain, but happy that it was no longer possible, and that he was telling me about it.

"Please, don't close your eyes," I said, walking over to him slowly. I hugged his waist, and he put his arms gently around me. "I miss them." He wound carefully out of my arms, and sat down on the grass. I stared at him in confusion, but he held his arms out for me a second later. I happily sat down beside him, happy just to feel his arms around me, not as cold as they once were. I leaned my head back to rest it on his shoulder. We sat like this for a very long time, till it became twilight.

"Twilight," I smirked. "It's the safest time of day for us, the easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way… the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" We spoke at the same time. I laughed.

"You remember exactly what you said?" I asked.

"I remember every second I was with you," He smiled. "Everything that was said, every action. It was my only happiness."

"It was my torture," I murmured, thinking of the times I'd had to shut my mind off to every memory, afraid of the pain of hoping, wishing. He heard me, his eyes filled with the same sadness as before. I couldn't bear to see it there. I leaned back again and kissed his marble neck. He carefully put his hands on my shoulders and pushed my forward to look into my eyes. I messed with the color of them a little.

"That's a little unnerving, you know," He smirked. I laughed, and before he knew it, I looked just like the human Bella Swan he knew. He gasped in shock. "Wow, that's amazing, and weird," He laughed, and I laughed with him. Suddenly, my phone went off. I groaned, and looked at the caller ID. Jessica. I grumbled as I answered. At least Edward didn't let go of me.

"Bella?!" She said, sounding alarmed.

"Hey, Jess," _Oh, crap. _I'd forgotten to phone and tell her I was away.

"Where have you been, Bella? You haven't been at school for two days. I thought you'd be okay when you were off yesterday, but Jake phoned Charlie today, and you've went on holiday, with Angela supposedly. I saw her today. Where are you?"

"Um… I'm with… I'm with the Cullens." I said. I heard her gasp on the other end of the line. There was also a growl. I guessed Jacob was with her.

"The _Cullens_?" She hissed. "Bella, they _left _you, what the hell are you doing?!"

"Let me talk to her, Jess," Came Jake's voice. There was a slight rustling as the phone was passed over. "Bella, stay away from them." He said sternly. "Them bloodsuckers will mess you up again."

"Jake, it was a misunderstanding," I said angrily.

"Misunderstand my ass! They left you once, how do you know what they're saying is true?"

"Love." I answered simply. At this, Edward kissed my neck, and though it was only a simple gesture, I could feel the remorse in it, along with happiness that I believed him. Plus, it sent shivers down my spine. Jacob had been talking, but I wasn't paying attention, all my attention was focused on Edward, listening and feeling his every movement.

"Bella?! Did you hear me?"

"Hmm?" I smiled as Edward continued to kiss my neck.

"He's there now, isn't he?"

"Who?" I laughed, feeling another shiver. I could tell Jacob was getting frustrated, but I simply didn't care, my mind was elsewhere.

"Edward is with you, isn't he?" I heard him grit his teeth.

"Don't be mean," I scowled at him, as though he could see. Jacob was speaking again, but I no longer cared to hear what he had to say. I put the phone down on the grass and turned round to face Edward.

He kissed the side of my mouth, letting his cool lips linger there. "You know it's rude to be this distracted when someone calls you," He teased.

"It's not my fault he called when I was so distracted," I said. He chuckled, and I inhaled his scent. Wonderful. There was a silence where the sound of the phone cut through. Jacob was shouting down the phone. Though it was muffled and on the ground, heard perfectly the words he said.

"I'll tell Charlie where you are. Heck, I could even tell Charlie _what_ you are. See how he feels learning he's been living with a vampire for the past few days." I froze, and picked the phone back up.

"Jake, please don't. You don't understand the consequences of doing that. It will get Charlie into a lot of supernatural trouble."

"Like he isn't already?! His daughter and her _boyfriend_ are vampires, and his best friends belong to a tribe of werewolves?"

"Jake, it was good I came here. They have really helped me. You can't imagine how badly I hunted, and if I didn't do it properly I _would've_ hurt Charlie."

"You've been _thirsty?_" He snarled. I heard Jessica cough –she knew.

"_Vampire,_ Jake." I said sarcastically.

"You're a threat, and you're not in the treaty." He said, voice a cross between a huff and a hiss.

"We're friends, Jake," I whispered sadly.

"We shouldn't be. Me and your bloodsuckers aren't. That's the way it is. We could hunt you down, the instant you're back in Forks. We could tell Charlie, so he'd force you to come back."

"But would you, Jake? You're one of my best friends." I whispered.

"Common feelings, Bells. I'm just showing you what sort of situation I'm in." I scowled at him. He didn't need to scare me. "Just, try and stay away from the Cullens."

"Well, that's kind of hard, considering there's one on my face now," I smiled as Edward continued to kiss my jaw line, or just run his nose along it, inhaling my scent. "And technically, I _will_ be part of the treaty, soon. _And, _I think I'll be back next week. See ya, Jake," I hung up, just as he processed what I'd said. He could be heard yelling down the phone just as I cut off the conversation.

"He doesn't seem happy we're back," Edward noted, understating it a _little_.

"He doesn't understand, how things are, what happened."

"Hmm," He murmured on my skin. "I don't think I do, either." He smiled. "How can you accept me back into your life so easily? Not that I'm not glad, but, are you sure?"

"I love you, therefore I trust you. Plus, if you're lying again, this time you can be sure you'll be kicked to Albuquerque. No silly human strength this time!" I laughed, expecting him to do the same.

"I can't believe this." He said suddenly.

"Believe what?" I asked, trying to turn to look at him. I gave up before trying using newborn strength.

"That… that you love me. It's incredible. Even after all I'd done, all the misery I put you through, the pain from a few too many vampire attacks. After every tear I've put on your face, you can still sit here and say you love me, without considering it."

"Edward," I pushed away from him to turn around then. "You may think that what you did for me was wrong, was stupid. It did hurt me. But you did it because you could push away all your own desires just to keep me safe, give me what I might have wanted in the future. You weren't to know I didn't want that, no matter what I said, you could never read my mind. You are the most wonderful, most selfless creature I know. And I don't need to consider telling you I love you, because even after the words have left my mouth, I know them to be true. I love you."

"I love y-" He began, but I cut him off with a kiss. There were no longer any limits, though Edward seemed to forget that at first. I think I surprised him when my lips didn't follow his pattern. He smiled. Suddenly, he froze. I did too. I pulled away, looking around for any signs of anyone approaching. There were none. I looked back at him, confused, to see his eyes were stuck on me. "Bella," He whispered, voice full of amazement, beautiful golden eyes wide. Then he smiled widely, his crooked grin once again, for the first time in ages. "I can read your mind."

**AN: Oooh, fluff (:**

**And a nice little cliffy there :D  
**

**Thanks, as always to my reviewers and readers in general. :D**

** Don't worry guys, I've stopped relying on the characters for answers. :P**

**I don't know if I have a plan for the future or not, I always seem to get them at school nowadays. Mhm, that's what I'm thinking about a lot of the time. I'm going to fail my exams. Ah wellies.  
Idk if anybody bothers to read this bit, but it's kinda taken up a lot of space... I get carried away a lot. Sorry (:**

**Rachee (: x **


	19. Telepathics & Charlie

"What?!" I jumped up, blushing furiously. He could read my mind. No! It was good that I was the only one who's thoughts were kept from him! He would hear _everything_ now.

His grin was gone instantly. "I could... not read it, if you want." He looked up at me.

"How, though?!"

He looked at me, confused. "I just wouldn't pay attention to what you're thinking."

"No, how can you suddenly hear what I'm thinking? How did you not hear what I meant there?"

"Well, I wasn't paying attention to your thoughts just then, like you wanted. And how I can hear them now? I have no idea. It was just then, when you kissed me, everything opened up. Like a wall in your mind came down. Are you sure you didn't do this on purpose?" He frowned.

"No, I didn't do that deliberately. I don't like this, it's too embarrassing," I said, sitting back down again.

"Well, it's your mind, try closing it again." He suggested.

"Edward, I don't know if you think I'm some sort of super-power vampire, but my one's enough, and I doubt this is something I can just-"

Shock covered his face again. "It's gone." He said simply. "Can't hear your thoughts anymore."

"Good," I frowned.

"But how are you doing it?"

"I don't know."

"Try opening it up again," I tried thinking about it, the same way I did with the illusion. He didn't react, so obviously, there was no difference. What else could have worked? Edward. I looked at him, and brought the feelings I had toward him forward. All the love, care, amazement, fascination...lust. I looked into the depths of his beauty, past the appearance. He _did_ have a soul, and it was magnificent. "It's working again," He murmured. I barely paid attention. "How did you get it to work?"

"I thought of you," I smiled.

"And it worked? I wonder..." Just then, I assaulted his lips with a kiss. Though he could now hear my thoughts, he was still surprised. This kiss was nothing compared to when I was a human. Back then, he was always fighting against himself, restraining the both of us from going too far. This was so much better. Though I was immortal, the kiss continued till I felt dizzy. It wasn't a feeling I wanted to get rid of, to be honest.

"You think too much," I giggled into his skin, once we broke apart. "Just be happy that you can know what I feel?"

"Yes," He smiled against my cheek, "But I also want to know _why_. Don't you?"

"I don't care, as long as I can block you off, when I want," I laughed. He lay down on the grassy floor, on his side using an elbow to prop his head up. I did the same.

"I can't believe that I could have considered leaving you, even for half a second." He sighed.

"I believed you could, and sometimes I still do. I'm more scared of losing you than I am for my own life."

"Oh, excellent, you're scared of losing me, but when a vengeful, psychotic vampire gives you a choice between your own life, and a pack of _wolves_, you skip off to meet her." He rolled his eyes. "I'll have to tie you up."He heard the words as he said them, and suddenly looked embarrassed, especially for someone who couldn't blush.

"Hey! I didn't know the wolves weren't in..." I realized then why he was so embarrassed, and started laughing.

"I didn't mean it like that," He said uncomfortably. "I was going to finish, 'to stop you from hurting yourself', but I thought you might get annoyed, so I wanted to stop speaking, but the sentence was half way out..."

"So you had a brain spasm and said half of it," I laughed.

"Shut up," He growled playfully.

"Or what? You'll tie me up?" I laughed. "_'Bring on the shackles, I'm your prisoner_,'" We both quoted his words, that day, when we went to our meadow in Forks.

"You remember that?" He asked after a second.

"That's one of my favourite days, ever." I smiled. There was another long silence.

"So... you're going back to Forks next week?" He asked, trying to sound indifferent.

"Yeah... School, Charlie, crazy werewolves." Though they weren't my main priorities. "Will you come back, too?" I asked.

"Hopefully. I'd like to. Then again, if you would stay here, I'd like that too." He thought for a moment. "Wait... How have you managed to go back to school so young? How have you managed to be around Charlie?"

"I don't know, but it does hurt. Not that bad though, so far I've only _imagined_ killing Mike. But when it actually comes to hunting and blood, it creeps me out."

He seemed to think about it for a minute, but said nothing. "Would you like to go back to the house?" He asked after a long time.

"Sure," I smiled. "We're going to need to tell everyone you know about me, though." It was surprising really, none of the rest of the family had noticed us leave.

"We don't _need_ to tell them," He grinned wickedly.

"Alice'll see this, though." I said disapprovingly.

"Yeah," He sighed. "C'mon, let's go back anyway." We got up and began running back. Along the way, there was a ringing noise. My phone, _again._ I groaned and looked down as I fished it out of my pocket. Suddenly, I jerked to the left a little. I looked up in fright to see Edward holding onto my sleeve. "Sorry, you were about to hit that tree." He grimaced. I answered the phone, still running. It was Charlie. _Of course, Jacob._

"Bella?!" I stopped running then, he would hear the wind whoosh by the receiver.

"Hey Dad," I said in a human voice.

"Jacob called earlier." He said curtly.

"I know," I sighed. Edward stood by my side and put an arm around my shoulder. It made me feel stronger. Chatting with Charlie would be no problem.

"He told me where you are. Could you tell me where you are?" He asked like I was a criminal in questioning, not his daughter.

"Eh... not precisely, no. At the moment or in general?"

"Both," He said angrily.

"Uh, at the moment, I'm in a forest. And in general, I'm at the Cullens' house." I was maybe a little too up-front with him, but who cared? They were –hopefully- coming back to Forks soon, and Edward and I were loosely engaged.

"Bella." Charlie said, and I could hear the phone shaking in his hand. "_Why_ are you there?"

"Ah... Long story."

"You shouldn't be there," He hissed. "Come home. I trusted you, when you said you were with Angela. Why, I don't know. I don't -on the other hand- trust you with the Cullens. They left you, for goodness sake!"

"I know, but-" I started.

"He's there now, isn't he?! That Edward Cullen boy?! Let me talk to him!" Charlie growled.

"Ugh, Dad. Just leave it, please."

"Bella," He said sternly. "Let me talk to Cullen." I don't know what it was, whether it was because I was happier than ever, or because I just had a subconscious desire for danger, but the next words weren't the safest.

"Which one? Me or Edward?" I held the phone away –sensitive vampire ears weren't good for the volume –or content- of Charlie's next words. In the short space where Charlie vented his anger, Edward looked at me incredulously, eyes wide.

"That wasn't the best thing to say to your father." He murmured.

"He'll deal with it," I shrugged. I put the phone back to my ear, just enough time to catch the last of Charlie's anger. Something about shooting Edward, and dragging me home. I laughed loudly at that.

"Bella! What the _hell_ are you laughing at?! I expect you home tomorrow, and if you're not... Where exactly are the Cullens residing?"

"Um..." This wasn't going to help my case. I didn't have a clue. "Not far from Forks, out in the countryside." I lied.

"I'm coming tomorrow." He said. "Can you tell me where _exactly_?"

If it could be sorted with Charlie by just a simple visit, I was willing to let him. "I'll tell Carlisle to call you and tell you, I'm not exactly sure." I said.

"Okay." He said, still sounding angry. "Bella, going back to them was stupid; you were only just getting over them." He hung up then.

"Oh, well. I sighed.

"That wasn't the best conversation," Edward mused.

"Well, if having Charlie visit here is the worst it comes to, we can deal with it." He took my hand then, and we ran back to the house. Upon reaching the door, Edward put his arm behind my leg and despite my protests carried me through the door –bridal style. He kissed me intensely as he carried me up the stairs to his room, and that's all I care to say about last night.

In the morning, though I hadn't slept, there was something tugging at the front of my mind, wanting to be remembered. Thing is, I couldn't remember what. Edward was walking his fingers up my back, like a spider. His cool, soft fingers didn't help me think. Then, like a foghorn, the thought came back to me. "Charlie!" I gasped. I hadn't asked Carlisle to call him, and he was meant to be coming today. If I did quickly, maybe I would still have a chance. Not caring what I put on, I picked up what appeared to be Edward's shirt, and my underwear. Normally, I would be embarrassed going down to see the family like this, but they were just as eager for Edward and I to be together again, and this was an _emergency_. If Charlie wasn't satisfied, I'd be under his watch for life. And Edward –or any other Cullen- would be forbidden from seeing me again. That is how a thirsty vampire kills her father. So, like I said, I had no aversion walking down the stairs to them. Maybe I would have, if I could hear _who_ was downstairs. Maybe I would have stopped, if I'd heard the heartbeat. But I didn't, so I flew into the main room, shirt and underwear on, making it blatantly obvious as to what had happened last night –though they would know anyway, what with Alice, and things- to see my father sitting on the sofa, chatting to Carlisle and Esme.

"Carlisle! Could you call Charlie about where we..." A teacup could be heard falling to the floor. _Whoops._

**AN: I actually found this chapter kinda funny... Sorry if you didn't :P**

**Thanks for your reviews, it just makes me :D to see I've got new ones (: Thankyou x**

**Rachee (: x**


	20. Excuses

Ugh, how awful. As soon as I noticed Charlie, I screamed and ran back upstairs. Alice caught me on the way up. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I saw that you were going to ask about Charlie, so Carlisle phoned last night. I had no idea that..."

"It's okay Alice, I don't blame you I just..." I sighed. "Oh my God! I can't believe I did that! I think that Charlie nearly died of a heart attack! Oh, God!"

"And you didn't even look human, did you?" She said sympathetically.

"Oh, no." I groaned. Add to my mistakes. I walked past her, back up to Edward's room.

"He's already here, isn't he?" Edward asked glumly. I nodded. "Sorry, I realized when you were downstairs."

"It's not your fault either, though _Charlie_ might see differently. I think his plans of shooting you _may_ come into fruition now that he saw my little display."

"We could lie," He suggested without hope. "Alice was giving you a full makeover, new clothes and everything, you just didn't want to get makeup on the new ones."

"He's not dumb, he'll know I'm lying."

"But he won't think _Alice_ is lying." True, Charlie was under Alice's spell. And Jasper... I wondered if there was an emotion where Charlie would believe anything. "We could try," Edward shrugged.

"And if he doesn't believe us, we get hypnotist help." I frowned. I walked back to my room and picked out an outfit Alice had given me, one that would look like Alice had chosen out. It was a nice, Summery blue dress and a pair of matching pumps. I made myself more human, only not Bella, as I had makeup on. Then I peeked my head into the hall and whispered for Alice. She would hear. She was upstairs in a flash. "Alice, we're going to make up a lie for Charlie, and I need your help."

"Um... Okay, why me?" She seemed confused.

"Because you're the only one Charlie likes at the minute." Of course, he could never be upset with her.

"Okay. What are we going to tell him?"

"You were giving me a full makeover, and so I didn't get makeup on the clothes you picked, you got me to wear... that. And, is there any way Jasper could help?"

She took in Edward's idea, thinking carefully about it. "I can't see what will happen, because Charlie hasn't been told the lie he has to choose to believe, but I'll help. And Jasper could help, in some way or another. At least to calm Charlie down."

Edward, Alice and I walked down the stairs. Alice went to hers and Jasper's room, where Jasper would be to tell him about Charlie. He said he would help and the four of us walked down to meet Charlie. Who appeared to be in a state of shock. He was like a statue, he could move to face the door, and his face was painted red when he saw us come in. I felt instant calming waves flood the room, and Carlisle and Esme looked up at Jasper appreciatively. I felt guilty then, I'd left them to deal with Charlie. But the calm quickly erased that. Charlie returned to a normal shade, and his features and posture relaxed until he took up the form of somebody on drugs. Maybe a bit too much work on Jasper's part, but it didn't matter. Whatever he thought would work best.

"Hey, Dad." I said as I sat down next to him. He nodded in my direction, a slight smile on his face.

"Hey, Bella. Hey, Edward, hey, Alice, hey... kids." He didn't know who Jasper was.

"Hi, Chief Swan," They all murmured simultaneously.

"How are we all?" He said, still too relaxed. I wanted to tell Jasper to tone it down, but I was too scared of the alternative. None of us replied, for some reason. "So, engaged, are we?" He asked.

"Yes, Dad. I'm sorry about how I told you it's just..." I said, regretting what I said yesterday.

"Allow me, Bella." Edward spoke up then, looking embarrassed and uncomfortable. "Mr. Swan, I'm terribly sorry you had to find out this way, I should have been more traditional, by asking you for Bella's hand first. But since we left, I missed your daughter more than she missed me, believe me, it's possible. I can't go into the details as to why we left, but please know it was for Bella's sake, not my own. When I saw her again, I was entirely overwhelmed by her, and as I had been planning this before we left, I couldn't help but secure her hand in marriage." No, _I_ was overwhelmed. Why couldn't I be that good at explaining things? He didn't even get into a complicated situation where Charlie was demanding to know why they left. Then again, at the same time, I wanted to tell Edward not to waste his breath explaining when Charlie was clearly out of it.

Charlie nodded drunkenly, before changing the subject again. "So, Bella? What was that outfit I caught you in earlier? Did Renee give you it? Or was it Edward's?" He laughed. This was actually weird, but great. My dad was joking about what he obviously knew I was doing. Imagine that! Still, I was going to lie.

"Well, Alice was doing my makeup, see?" I turned to look at him.

"Very nice," He smiled.

"And she gave me this dress, but she didn't want to get makeup on it, so I wore what you saw earlier." I smiled encouragingly, willing him to believe it. If he did though, would he still believe me when Jasper was gone? Would he still be angry over the whole situation?

As though he could read my thoughts –which he could- Edward whispered to Jasper, only loud enough for immortals to hear. "Okay, drop it for a while, let's see what happens." The calm atmosphere was inching away slowly, back to Jasper. The glazed, drugged up look Charlie had eventually faded away, till he was Chief Swan again.

Never normally the one to test the water, I tried it now. "So dad, you're okay with the... the engagement?"

He was silent for a long time. "I... I guess so, actually. It's your life, waste it as you want." He sighed, defeated though he never fought. I nearly growled at the use of the word 'waste'. "Finish High School first." He said suddenly. "I never did find out... How did you get back with the Cullens, Bella?"

"I met Alice and Emmett in town, and they basically _dragged_ me –though I was willing to come- back to meet the rest of the family."

"Huh. And can I ask why you left Bella like that?" He asked Edward sternly.

"Uh," Edward scrambled for a suitable answer. "Well... I..."

"I can answer that one, Charlie." Esme mumbled, sounding sad. "You see, when we adopted Edward, he was still very young. But old enough to be affected by cruel words. You see, he was bullied at the orphanage he lived in, and I think some of the other children's cruel words _did_ affect him. He left Bella because he didn't think he was good enough for her, that she would get trapped loving him when he wasn't that good a person. It was terrible to watch. No matter what we said, he wouldn't change his mind, though what he did was the kind of thing a good person would do. Foolish, maybe, but all the same."

"Bullying sure is terrible." Charlie agreed, shaking his head. Edward looked ashamed, though I knew it was the 'I'm a monster' thoughts again. He still thought what he did was monstrous, and hated sympathy.

"Thank you, Esme." I whispered. She smiled warmly in response.

"So... About coming home, Bella?" He asked.

"Yes. Next week still okay?" He seemed to consider it thoroughly.

"Right." He said, again with the defeated tone.

"And we're moving back soon too!" Alice squeaked excitedly. Everyone, even Carlisle and Esme, looked up at her curiously. "Right... Esme?" She said, remembering that her knowledge would not be a normal thing to Charlie.

"Yes, of course. The kids aren't enjoying my home schooling." She scowled. Such a wonderful actress she was. "At least, they _did_ enjoy it, but learnt nothing." She said grudgingly. Charlie stood up then.

"Right. I'd better be on my way, I was meant to be out fishing half an hour ago." He looked at his watch. Edward and I showed him to the door. He turned around, with his hand on the door handle. "Oh, and Bella? I saw a lot of things today I'm going to pretend I didn't." His eyes tightened, and his mouth was a hard line.

Just then, Emmett and Rosalie burst through the door, Emmett covered in bloodstains. Obviously, they'd been hunting. Luckily, Charlie moved his hand away before it could be crushed by the force of the door.

"Damn lions! Couldn't it bleed _elsewhere_? Can't see why Edward likes them!" Emmett shouted. Rose seemed to be fuming. I guessed she'd bought him the shirt. Seriously, did everyone –including me- just forget my Dad's presence nowadays?

"How's about in your mouth, rather than _my_ shirt?!" Rosalie yelled as Emmett noticed my Dad, standing in the hallway.

"Oops," He mumbled, walking upstairs. Rosalie noticed too, as soon as Emmett left. She stared at him in shock before following Emmett.

"What was that all about?" Charlie said, watching them disappear up the stairs.

"Um... Emmett's training to be a vet in a zoo. He was helping the real vet in surgery today, when Rose visited, and it obviously gushed blood all over him." I secretly hi-fived myself for thinking that one up so fast.

Charlie nodded, not really caring to go into detail. "See you this weekend, Bella." He said, walking out the door. The instant the door was shut, and he could be heard getting in his car, I sighed in relief.

"Ahh, glad that's over." I turned round to face Edward, who had his hand in the air. It took me a second to realize what he meant, making him roll his eyes playfully. "Hi-five!" I laughed, hitting his hand.

"Hmm. Took you long enough." He chuckled, before his face became sombre. "That was close,"

"Yeah, Emmett nearly blew it for us," I scowled at the ceiling. We walked back to the living room, where everyone –except Rose and Emmett- were sitting. "Thank you," I said to them all. There were smiles all round, and a couple of "No problem"s.

"That's what families are for," Alice said happily. I was happy, too.

Edward kissed my cheek, "What do you want to do now?" He asked my skin.

"Anything." I smiled.


	21. School Day

"We really should get back to your house, Charlie will be up soon." Edward murmured, though he made no move to get up. It was Monday, mine and Edward's first day back, since seeing each other again. We were alone at the Cullen house in Forks, the rest of his family were to come back next week. Since neither of us slept, it seemed silly to waste the night time alone. We were at each other's houses on alternative nights; one night I was at Edward's, the next night he was at my house. All unbeknownst to Charlie, of course. Then again, there were a lot of things he didn't know, like every second night his vampire daughter had her vampire boyfriend round, as he slept carelessly in the other room.

"Hm," I sighed lazily, not really caring to move either. Though comfort wasn't really a necessary to vampires, I was comfy here. Sitting in Edward's arms, hearing soft, classical music –mainly my lullaby and Debussy- drift from the stereo, chatting and thinking about anything, being able to steal kisses whenever I wanted, it was kind of perfect.

"Come on," He said, gently nudging me, as though I'd fallen asleep.

"You go first, then," I smiled up at him. He looked at me for a moment, before sighing and walking upstairs. I sat for a moment, before deciding to follow him. I don't know if it was lucky or not, but Alice had given me full permission to use _anything_ from her closet, whenever. I walked into her room quickly and shyly, and proceeded to the en suite wardrobe, roughly the same size as my room at Charlie's. Unfortunately, Alice didn't have much in the way of 'casual'. There weren't a lot of just 'jeans and a t-shirt', and where there were, they seemed to be of designer quality. _Make Alice proud._ A little thought at the back of my head said. With a sigh, I shut my eyes and spun around, finger pointing out. Let fate choose my clothing, maybe it had a better fashion sense than me. When I stopped spinning, I quickly opened my eyes. Huh, it appeared I was going to be wearing a door today. Not too hard to fashion clothes out of wood... No, I had to be serious. I didn't have long till Charlie would be awake and looking for me. I could actually just find something at home, to be honest. That would be a good idea... Only I didn't like the idea of running there in my pyjamas. Vampire in pyjamas? So stupid. So useless. So comfy...

No. I tried the spinning game again, and came up with a red long top and black trousers. I actually liked it, the top was ruffled near the bottom, and it had white, silk detail. The trousers were just plain, but they felt like satin, though I knew they weren't. I messed around with my face illusion, and chose a more vampire one; I wanted to look like I belonged at Edward's side. When I was done, I walked out of Alice's room, to find Edward leaning against the wall, waiting on me. "Ready to go?" He asked. I just nodded as we walked out the door and began running to Charlie's house. As usual, the window was wide open. It was surprising how easy it was to jump high, even as a vampire. When there, I got into my bed, and tucked the covers all around me, so no clothing could be seen. Edward sat next to me and talked about random things, till we heard Charlie stirring. As usual, we both froze, before Edward hid somewhere in my room. Half a minute later, Charlie stumbled in, groaning and grumbling at the time. Satisfied, he walked away to get ready. Unfortunately, this meant we had to stay like this till Charlie left. It was easy for me, but not so easy for Edward, who was crumpled under my bed. He reached out every now and again to tickle my foot, making me giggle. I planned to get him for that; once Charlie was gone. Eventually, the door could be heard slam shut, and we sprang to life again.

"School again," Edward sighed, "It's been a while. Do you think I'll be accepted by the other students?" He chuckled. Like he ever cared about being accepted.

"Probably not, though only because you're handsome, and _taken_." I smiled.

"If that's the case, you'll be _hated_. You're the most beautiful, and you too, are taken." He laughed.

"By who?" I scowled playfully.

"Oh, nobody, just your fiancé," He chuckled, kissing the ring on my left hand.

"You really should've got you one of these too, so girls aren't after you."

"Hm... good idea. Too late now, though. We have to go soon." I walked downstairs, Edward following. We were going to wait for a while, but changed our minds after a few minutes of morning TV. In the car, Edward's Vanquish –apparently some anonymous family member took their anger out on the Volvo- my lullaby was playing, and though he was limited to the steering wheel, I could see his fingers move in time to the tune, as though he was playing along.

When we got to the large, old building known as Forks High School, we were the first students there. I wanted to have a super vampire speed race, but Edward said it would be best if we just went to sit on the grass somewhere. Grudgingly, I agreed. There was no need for him to go to the office about his return, Carlisle had already called the school, and his timetable was the same as mine. We found a dry patch of grass and sat down there, waiting for other students to arrive. I didn't think we would have anyone but ourselves today, since the rest of the Cullens weren't here. Jessica could be a possibility, though her and the wolves probably held a grudge against the Cullens and I. So instead, we waited for the bell.

Mike Newton was one of the first people we knew to arrive, and I could hear a quiet growl coming from Edward. Still not on friendly terms with Mike, apparently. Though, neither was I. "Ignore him," I murmured, stroking his hand.

"That's going to be hard, considering he's coming over to talk to you," He growled. I rolled my eyes; at the both of them.

"Hey, Bella." Mike said when he was within what he thought was hearing range. Pah, I could hear him pottering around back by his car.

I looked at him sceptically. "Hello, Mike."

"Edward," Mike nodded in Edward's general direction.

"Hello, Mike." His response was silky, too silky to be friendly. "How are you?"

"Um... I'm okay, thanks." Notice he didn't ask it in return. "Like the car... Take it it's yours?" He looked forlornly at the Vanquish. Edward groaned, too quiet for Mike to hear. I was surprised; I would've thought he liked showing the car off.

"Yes."

"So... what was with the skive last week, Bella?" Mike persisted.

"I was with the Cullens."

"Surely you don't get days off for that! What about you?" He seemed unable to address Edward by his name.

"Family business."

"Cool, cool." There was a moment of silence. I wanted to tell Mike to go away, but that would be immature. "So... I take it you two are back together?" Mike said, managing to fit a defeated tone in his voice.

"Uh- huh," I said enthusiastically, pulling my fingers out of Edward's cool grasp for a second, to show Mike the ring.

"Oh, wow," He said, looking closer. I think we all knew -mind reader or not- that at first, Mike didn't realize the significance of it. He kind of did a double-take. "You two are..."

"Yep," I grinned. Mike looked sort of pissed, and didn't hide it well. Jessica's little white car could be seen pulling up in the car park. Mike was off.

As she got out the car, she looked around her warily, as though expecting us to be beside her instantly and kill her. If that was the case, looking around wouldn't do much. Eventually, she spotted us. A few emotions flicked across her face, though I'm sure the main one was fear. Sure, she wasn't scared of me when I was alone, but bring a Cullen into the picture, a family of vampires much more in control than me...

She walked past us, as though she hadn't acknowledged us. The rest of the day carried on in pretty much the same way, few people –very, _very_ few welcomed Edward back- Angela and Ben did, and Angela practically melted in excitement at the sight of my engagement ring. Ben would propose to her one day. Or at least, I hoped it would be him, they were good together. At lunch, Edward and I sat alone, like that time, so long ago. Only difference now was that only Edward had a tray; I didn't bother with props. When he went to get his 'lunch', I could see that for a split second, he was about to scold me for not getting anything to eat. It was then, at lunch, when Jacob called again.

"Bella,"

"Hey Jake,"

"I hear you're back," He said flatly. "You and... Edward."

"Yeah, how do you know?" Then again, it had been a few days.

"Charlie told Billy. Is Jessica there?"

"Um... not with _us_, no. But she's at school today."

"Okay."

"Jake, what was the purpose of this call?" I asked, Edward was staring intently at the phone. I doubted he could hear Jacob's mind from here, though.

"Just to see if you were back. How's... Edward?"

"He's fine, Jake. Is this some sort of 'let's be friends again' call, Jacob?" I asked suddenly. I could practically hear him smile.

"Yeah, sort of. See ya, Bella." He was gone then. I looked at the phone, and shook my head. Jacob was weird.

Before I knew it, school was over. "Ugh... School's boring," I said, leaning against Edward as we walked toward his car.

"I actually enjoyed it." He said. I looked up at him incredulously.

"What?"

"Well... You were there."

"I'm always at school when you've been there." I said. He just shrugged. There were a group of boys surrounding his car, but as soon as they saw the owner, many of them walked off. Still, he had to be careful not to hit any of them. "Just hit one... Go on," I murmured to myself, not really intending on him hearing. Of course, I was kidding. He looked at me in shock, but I just looked away, trying not to laugh. We eventually got out of the school, and headed toward the Cullen's mansion.

**AN: Hey, sorry about the delay :/ Kinda got bored of the story/ didn't know how to continue :P**  
**This is a bit of a filler, sorry. Got another idea, I like it... but it might sound out there. Judge for yourselves, once I've put it up (:  
So, please keep reviewing! No matter what you say, good, bad, I'll take it all :D Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, you're great! :D **

**OOH, and check out my profile, I've put up an idea for another story, I might carry on with... NO STEALING! xD Well, you can if you want, I don't own Twilight, or my ideas, really :P If I get good feedback, I will probs write it (:**

**Rachee (: x**


	22. Meal Made of Mike

"BELLA!" Came a loud scream. I turned quickly to see who it was, though I already recognized the voice. I wasn't quick enough. Alice pelted into me with enough force to push the moon out of orbit. "How are you?!" She yelled, as the rest of the family got out of their cars.

"Alice, it's been a week." I laughed.

"Aaaand?!"

"Well... Good I guess." I smiled. "How about you?"

"Well, I missed _you._ Shame you couldn't return the feeling." She sniffed, though I knew as well as anyone she was kidding.

"I missed you too," I said, ruffling her sleek black hair.

"I knew you would, everyone misses me," She chuckled.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" Esme said as she walked past, carrying more luggage than would be possible for a human woman of her build. "And where's Edward?" Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear. He appeared in the doorway and offered to take Esme's things up. She shook her head. Carlisle walked past after her.

"You two were here alone?" He asked.

"No," Edward snorted. "We thought we'd invite Charlie round for a round of poker." He laughed.

"More like _strip_ poker." Emmett chuckled from the boot of his Jeep, where he seemed to be gathering different game consoles. "_Ed, your shirt's buttoned up wrong!_" He stage whispered, loud enough for us all to hear. I tried my hardest not to blush. Edward didn't do as well for not looking embarrassed; he redid it quickly, scowling at a laughing Emmett the whole time. Surprising that he got it right this time.

"Okay, Emmett. _Psst!_ You're fly's open."He snapped.

"Hey... What!?" He looked down quickly. "Is not!"

"Dim-wit." Rose chided, smacking him on the back of the head as she gracefully leapt past him, carrying things she could probably balance on her head and they wouldn't fall.

"Did you leave anything?" Edward said to Carlisle.

"Just a few things that wouldn't fit in the car."

"Oh, we'll probably go back and find humans living there," Edward rolled his eyes.

"I believe they're called _squatters_." Emmett said, sarcasm thick in his tone.

"Oh, he's just mad he didn't have room for the Playstation™," Rose smirked. "Stupid thing. I swear, you've played each game enough times to write a book about them."

"You can't exactly write a book about a racing game..." I didn't hear the rest of the conversation, I went back in the house. As soon as I was in the hall, an arm snaked out and grabbed me.

"Alice!" I yelled as she pulled me up to her room.

"Sorry, but I got these, and I couldn't resist showing you!" She sat down on the bed, and patted a spot next to her. "Sit down then," She said. I sat down as she reached behind her, then brought forward some large, heavy looking –even for a vampire- catalogues.

"Alice, you don't expect me to want to look through these, do you?"

"These ones? Yes. Look," She flipped them over so I could see the front. Wedding catalogues.

"Aw, Alice! It'll be ages away! I don't need to plan anything yet!"

"Pfft, you plan? Hah, no way. I just need your opinions."

"What's wrong with me planning?" I scowled.

"Bella," She laughed, "I don't recall jeans and a t-shirt being traditional attire for the _bride_, of all people."

"I wouldn't..." I would.

"Anyway. I want to know what you think of these; it would be a shame having the bride throw a hissy-fit over what colour the flowers are," She looked at me for a second, before turning away. "Not that you would..." She mumbled.

"Would you?" I laughed.

"Well, I wouldn't need to, I would have arranged everything." She smiled. I just rolled my eyes. "Now, I was looking in this one, and I thought that this-" She waved her hand over a page of pretty decorations "-would be a good theme, what do _you_ think?"

"Go on then, buy it," I said apathetically. The wedding didn't really matter; it was the fact that it was to the most perfect creature in the world that mattered to me.

"Hah! _Buy_ it? Seriously Bella, what kind of cheapskate do you take me for?"

"What, you're not a cheapskate because you're _not_ buying it? Makes sense." I smirked.

"Nooo," She scowled. "I _mean,_ we're going to design it and make it ourselves."

"And how is that more expensive?"

"Do you really want to know?" Her eyes flashed in the threat, though it wouldn't be a threatening prospect to someone else.

"No thanks." I smiled.

"So an_y_wa_y_. These decorations?"

"Sure." She scowled at me, pursing her lips.

"Too soon," She said simply.

"What's that meant to mean?"

"I'll ask you the night before the big day, or not at all," She frowned, standing up and scooting me out. "Funny, I saw you being more cooperative."

"Well, I might be when it's nearer."

"I might not let you help by then," She laughed, pushing me out of her room. With a sigh, I began walking back toward the stairs. It happened again. Another arm reached out and stole me into their room. Rosalie?!

"Bella," She sighed. "Thought I might have grabbed someone else. Imagine if I got Alice!" She laughed.

"Why do you need me? Why would it be bad if you got Alice? Why didn't you look?"

"If I got Alice, she would know my plans. And I need you to look through some stuff I got." She grinned menacingly. Oh, God. Rosalie and Alice were competing over what arrangements we would have on my wedding. Wait... Rosalie? Rosalie Hale, the beautiful vampire that up until recently hated my guts?! Imagination sure does spout up some weird ideas. I hadn't really been in Rosalie and Emmett's room much, so I had a quick look around. It was mostly light colours, like the rest of the house, but the colours were very, _very _pale feminine colours, light pinks and yellows. Most of the decorations were pinks and creams, but there was one dark blue armchair. _Emmett's area,_ I guessed. I tried to stifle a giggle, and thankfully succeeded. Rosalie was only beginning to like me, no need to screw it up. There was a large vanity mirror, and lots of units with makeup, hairstyling products, things like that. We sat down on her cream sofa, and she already had a little booklet out –several hundred times smaller than Alice's catalogue.

"Now, every event, Alice is always the one to organize it, and it always looks amazing, of course, it's _Alice_."

"...Um... Rosalie?" I started sheepishly. She glared at me for half a second, before laughing; she was only kidding. I hoped.

"Okay, Bella." There was a long pause. My eyes began looking around the room curiously again. "What do you think of my room?" She said suddenly.

"I-it's beautiful, just like I expected it to be," I stammered.

She smiled understandingly. "You expected more mirrors, and pretty humans hanging dead, didn't you?"

"No! Not at all. I-"

"It's okay, I do kind of have a thing about my image," She half-smiled. "And... jealousy." She admitted.

"I-I didn't think t-that," I said.

"Oh, Bella, give it up," She laughed. "Even I can admit it," I didn't say anything to that.

"I'm sorry I came across so mean to you... Well, not came across... I _was_ mean to you. It's just... you were human, I wanted that. Worse yet, you were a _beautiful_ human."

"But you're Rosalie, you're prettier than a supermodel." I smiled.

"But that's expected, I'm not human. Let's just say I was jealous of you. But then I came to realize, I actually like my life. If I were given a chance to change, I would probably –as long as Emmett did too- but I would have to think about it for a _long_ time. I mean, like you said, I _am_ Rosalie." She smirked, "Nonetheless, there is no going back on what happened to me, so there was no point taking it out on you. Other humans on the other hand..." She laughed again. "And maybe, when I'm ready, and Emmett matures a little," She hissed that last part, "We might do what Esme did."

I didn't get it. "Uh...?"

"Adopt." She said plainly.

"Oh..." I didn't know quite how we'd come to be talking about this, but I didn't mind; it was nice to hear about Rosalie more. "Thank you for sharing, Rosalie. I'm glad I can finally understand why you didn't like me before."

"No problem, it was beginning to make me feel silly, hating you for the simple fact you were human. But... I still get to help with your wedding. I'm going to do better than Alice this time, I know it."

"I don't know, Rose. With me, she tends to do things by force." I laughed. She didn't.

"Well, I guess you haven't seen _me_ organize something," She smiled. I gulped. "Are you coming downstairs?" She said after a minute.

"Sure," I smiled, not wanting to stretch my stay past what she allowed. Fear of Rosalie wasn't something you could easily shake off. I was still scared of doing or saying the wrong thing around her. We walked down the stairs together, and into the main room. As soon as they saw us together, Alice and Edward's eyes narrowed. I let Edward into my mind, and he relaxed. Alice wasn't so reassured. Edward turned to look at her, and shook his head dismissively at her questioning eyes. There was a very subtle calm wave, and Alice let it drop. Edward moved up so I could sit with him, but I just shook my head.

"Coming to our meadow?" I asked, holding my hand out for him. He jumped up almost immediately. I was briefly reminded of Rosalie and Emmett, how Emmett did practically everything she told him. "You don't have to... If you don't want to," I smiled.

"Actually, I do. And I need to hunt,"

I thought about it for a second. "Same, actually."

One awkward hunting trip later, we were back in our meadow. "Alice was right. For a vampire, your hunting isn't very... natural."

"What's unnatural about it?" Like I didn't know.

"You seem to feel awkward, almost afraid to kill the animal, once you have it." He sighed, seeming troubled. I just shrugged. "That's not all; it just... doesn't seem like the normal thing for you,"

"That's because you're so used to it _not_ being natural for me." I smiled.

"Never mind, you'll get the hang of it,"

"Hope so," I smiled.

"So... Alice and Rose, talking to you about... the wedding?" He said hesitantly.

"Yeah, they want me to arrange it, _already_!"

"Rose too... I was surprised at that."

"Mhm, me too," I nodded, still surprised now.

"So... What _do_ you want for the wedding?" He said indifferently, though I could almost feel the true emotion. His eyes were fixed on the ring, as though he thought that at any point it would start fading away. Either that or he was scared to look at me. I knew why; I got in a state about them throwing me a _birthday party, _nobody knew how I'd react to a big wedding, which everybody clearly wanted.

"I don't know, to be honest. It doesn't really matter to me, at least not as much as the finalization that I get to keep _you._"

"What, so you can begin your husband collection?" He smirked. I scowled at him, until he kissed me in apology. Free kiss, I knew he wasn't serious. He heard that, "You could have a different species set, Me, Mike and Jacob." He laughed. This was surprising; normally it was me joking about how much I liked _Mike_.

"You know I only love one of that three." He smiled and kissed me again. "Yes, Mike and I shall live happily ever after." He froze –obviously, he didn't like it when _I _made those jokes, which was understandable. "Until I eat him," I giggled.

**AN: Okay, this has went on long enough without a thankyou: Angelplusbuffyequals4ever! :D Thanks as well to everyone else, I will mention all my reviewers next chapter, but it's getting kinda late here now, and I wanna sign off :/**

**Another filler here, I guess. :/ I promise, I will stop them soon, and get into the juicy stuff xD I just need to get to the part where the juicy stuff can start :P  
I'm a poet, and I know it. xD**

**Thankyou, reviewers, readers! x**

**Rachee (: x**


	23. Notes, Giggles and The Nerves Song?

School seemed like it would be a bore from now on, but it was actually quite fun. On the family's first day back, Alice demanded we had a special celebration; in other words, she picked out amazing clothes for everyone. That meant we were far from casual. Although several of us got annoyed, I think that no matter who it was, we all got a little excited about dressing up. Even me... Kind of. She had picked me out a dark purple, knee length floaty dress, which seemed to shine blue in different lights. Along with that, I had black ballet pumps, rather than the heels she was originally going to go with. She and Rosalie had similar dresses, Rosalie's was reddish-pink, and hers was a turquoise shade. Not surprisingly, none of the boys wore the clothes she'd picked them out. She whined, until they threatened everything that was irrationally important to her –the dress, her Porsche, those useless nothings she'd bought last week, credit cards, I could go on... Still, they all managed a look Alice was okay with... grudgingly. So it was hardly any wonder we all approached the school looking like an incredibly popular clique. I sort of blushed at that, we certainly weren't. I looked up at Edward with a smile, seeking those amazing golden eyes. He had decided to wear his shades today, though it looked like it was going to rain. _Idiot._

"You're just to cool for the sun, aren't you?" I laughed, "Even if it doesn't show."

"Of course I am," He smiled. Suddenly, Alice gasped.

"Bella! I have the same timetable as you! Exactly the same!" She said something else, but the morning bell cut through it.

"No, Bella and I sit together," Edward said, obviously hearing what she said when she thought it.

"Aw, c'mon!" She yelled, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward our first class. "You get her _all_ the time! Forever! Pleeease let me sit with her?"

"Okay..." He sighed, seeing what I could only imagine to be his car up in flames if he refused.

"Yay!" She squealed, quickly saying bye to Jasper, Rose and Emmett before dragging me into the English class. Hah, the only spare seat left for Edward was beside Mike. I let my mind open to Edward; he deserved it, with Mike beside him. Plus, I could have a little fun making him laugh... or something else. I have to say, through the whole of that class, I paid absolutely no attention to the teacher. First, I was trying to make Edward laugh without laughing myself. _Mike, as a vampire_. I thought, stifling a giggle. Edward inconspicuously looked around at Mike, as though trying to picture it. He couldn't; he turned to me, shaking his head and laughing a little. Mike looked up expectantly.

"Something bothering you, Cullen?" He asked sociably.

"Oh, not at all." He smirked, before turning to glare at me. I chuckled silently, before thinking of something else. If he didn't like humour... There was a scraping sound; very quiet, but Alice and I heard. Edward had dug his nails into the wood of the desk, and was peeling the material back softly, as though it was made of tissue paper. _If Charlie wasn't so high on Jasper's calm waves, I'm sure he would have reacted the same way, when he found out,_ I thought mischievously.

"What's up with Edward?" Alice hissed to me.

"I was annoying him with thoughts," I said smugly. He stared at us, mockingly furious, before turning back to the front of the class, as though he wanted to pay attention.

"Sounds fun," Alice giggled in response, then I'm sure she was annoying him too, though just not on the same tenor as me. I'm sure I could hear her hum 'The Nerves Song'* under her breath, and Edward just looked at her sceptically. I caught sight of Mike's face then, when he saw what Edward had done to the table. The teacher had to pause in his lecture to wait for me to stop laughing. And it was that kind of laughter where you're mind just sits back, and asks why you're laughing in the first place. I was so embarrassed, but I could barely stop. I guess I lost my own game of trying not to laugh. The rest of the time in class I spent talking with Alice. She seemed a little hyper –er- so I just listened with half interest. Hopefully, none of what she said would be important.

At lunch, Edward said he was annoyed, but I knew he wasn't. "You know, it wasn't kind of you to think like that in _English class_." He murmured. "And Alice... 'The Nerves Song'?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Well! I've had it in my head all day," She grimaced, "I needed to pass it on." As usual, the Cullens filled their trays and ate none of it. I filled mine with nothing and ate all of it. "You know, you could at least _pretend_ not to be going for anorexic," Alice scowled at the absence of a tray. I just shrugged.

"I don't see much point in it."

After lunch, Rosalie was in my class. Edward gracefully gave up his seat so we could sit together, though he managed to get one fairly close, a table with Emmett, who turned up late. Rosalie glared at him as he entered, and he just smiled apologetically. I wondered why I hadn't seen him or Rose at lunch.

"He said something to annoy me –you don't want to know what, so he spent the whole of lunch looking for me." She rolled her eyes. A torn off piece of paper flicked by us then, and landed on some other student's desk. I looked around Edward to see Emmett, clearly the one who flicked the piece.

"Tell Rose it said sorry!" Emmett whispered as he saw me look round.

"He says sorry," I said absently, following her gaze to see the recipient of Emmett's note open it up, read it with a shocked expression, and then looked at Emmett; who laughed. He looked embarrassed, and Edward was almost falling off his seat in laughter, I could imagine the note said a little more than 'sorry'. _What did it say?_ I asked Edward. It took him a moment to regain composure, but when he did he leaned over to whisper.

"Let's just say, it wasn't exactly suitable for anyone but Rose," He said, still trying not to laugh.

"In other words, only people who would want Emmett physically should see it?"

"Hey, who doesn't want to see a doodle of my doodle? Kids... Teachers... Grandmas..." He had to stop there; the laughter was getting the best of him. Typical Emmett, able to laugh at himself for doing something _that_ embarrassing. Rosalie whispered something to me; giggling the whole time it was surprising her words were coherent.

_Tell him Rose will forgive him, if he makes a move on that guy who got the note._ I told Edward. He snickered, and told Emmett.

"WHAT?!?!" Was all I heard as the news was passed along. But seconds later, another rolled up bit of paper whizzed past. Emmett being Emmett -in other words thick skulled- he flicked the sheet, intending it to go to the same boy. It skipped the whole table, and went onto the next, where Tyler Crowley could be seen jumping up in shock, then unravelling and reading Emmett's little note. Rose, Edward and I nearly died of laughter as Emmett turned round in his seat, cringing. How odd for Emmett to be embarrassed. As soon as he gathered himself again, he turned back to Tyler, who was still staring, mouth slightly agape, and winked invitingly.

Rose and I got sent out for rowdy, hysterical behaviour. Damned Edward, who didn't get blamed. Thankfully, it was nothing serious, the teacher just told us to try and control ourselves more when in class. Emmett was forgiven, of course.

Class ended soon after we were allowed back in. On the way to our next class, Biology, Edward put his arm around me, "Next class, I'm sitting next to _you_." He murmured.

Of course, I was still a little giggly from our last class. "Obviously." I laughed. "It's Biology, kind of where our relationship started. Mr. Banner: _Matchmaker_."

"I hardly think it was his doing," Edward chuckled, though he was clearly not as hyper as I was.

Then I remembered something, "Oh my God!" I exploded with laughter.

"What?" He frowned, looking down at me. When I didn't answer at first, he had a quick look around to see if Jasper was nearby. It didn't always need to concern _him_ for me to have a giggle. Though it was, now that I thought about it I could feel waves. "Ugh, Rosalie's telling him the Emmett story." He rolled his eyes. "So, anyway, what's so funny and shocking?"

"Your face!" I laughed. "No, I'm kidding, kidding. I love you," I smiled, trying not to show him I was trying not to laugh. "Well, I remembered what Mr. Banner said last class. He said we were starting a new subject," I smiled dumbly up at him.

"And...?"

"Well, it's that subject."

He frowned. "_What_ subject?"

I frowned too, "_Thaat_ subject!" I exploded with laughter again. Wow, Jasper's humour must have been really powerful. "You know, the one that _everyone_ laughs at."

He laughed a little, before rolling his eyes. I wished he would be less immune to Jasper's power; it was so much more fun having someone to giggle with, no matter how immature it was. We reached class –man, we were walking slow- and I could feel the waves of emotion slowly recede. Damn, and I was enjoying the exuberance too. I wondered how Alice managed to be like that more often. Edward seemed to realize my change of mood, and smiled tightly as we took our seats. Obviously, he expected my torture when I was hyper, but wasn't so sure now. Pfft, it was so much easier to play the laughing game in this class. About half way through, Edward gave up trying to be serious about the work and we spent the rest of the time trying to get each other to laugh, or at least get a noticeable reaction again. By the end of the day, I think Edward was feeling a mix of emotions, between wanting to get back at me for teasing him and wanting to kiss me. The rest of the week followed the same way, though with maybe less giggles. It turned out, I wasn't the only one to be affected by Jasper's humorous moods, the rest of the family got the giggles, like I did, and ended up wanting to _get_ Jasper after school. Tyler Crowley declined Emmett's invitation, though Emmett didn't approach him or the other boy once, except from maybe winking at them in the hall, making them feel understandably awkward. Everything –nearly- appeared to be going well, the end of my school career soon, the beginning of my life as a proper Cullen. Nothing could go wrong, could it?

**AN:**

***For those who don't know what I mean:**

**I know a song that will get on your nerves,  
get on your nerves,  
get on your nerves;  
I know a song that will get on your nerves,  
get, get, get on your nerves. Times infinity :P**

**Okay... Thankyou for your review (If I miss your name here, just say, and you'll get mentioned next chappie :D**

**Angelplusbuffyequals4ever;; KnKCullen;; GoldenGoatGirl87;; SilverSpirit 101;; Rose-Jane;; Kate Mac;; Liebe Leben;; TwilightFreakazoid;; dlajmc;;**

**Thankyouuuuuuuuuu!!! Muchos Gracias! **

**I love Spanish, idk why :D**

**Anyhooo...dly dooo. Not finished with this yet.. Sorry! This seemed fillish when I re-read it (I didn't, when I wrote it :P) But it had to be done (:  
Fancied a little Emmett comedy there... I found it funny. If you didn't, just picture me laughing at it. That'll cheer ya up xD**

**Review? Tell me what you think of my other idea,,,, if you bother about looking on my profile? :P**

**"I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves.........." :D**

**Rachee (: x**


	24. Smashing Windows

**AN: Just so you know, if you don't like this chapter, neither do I. That's why I didn't post it for agessssssss :( sorry if I annoyed anyone :P Sorry if this chapter annoys anyone xD **

We were sitting in the Cullen's house, when I began to feel sick. Properly sick, not like if a smelly Jacob Black had just walked in. It was a feeling, familiar to me, though distant at the same time. A feeling from my human life, one that I was expecting to lose. Stomach cramps, a sore back, this wasn't meant to happen.

Vampires never change, right? Well, except me, but my changes were only illusions, tricks of the eye. Everything else, I'd given up in transformation. True, I had been using my illusions a lot to go to school, and see Charlie, but they should never affect me like this, should they? They were only images, physical appearances. With that last confused thought, I got up from the sofa, leaving a bewildered Edward behind. Luckily, I'd closed my mind off to him, obviously leaving him with some suspicion, but he respected my privacy enough to let me go. I crept into the Cullen bathroom, and sat down on the side of the bath. There was an obvious smell of blood. This could not be happening. I was a vampire, vampires don't get periods. I searched in my head for an illusion; there was none visible to me. _Vampire_, I thought frantically. The feeling faded instantly. Just as I thought, it was an illusion. They were obviously getting stronger; I didn't even conjure that one up. I walked back downstairs, reassured. Nobody asked where I'd been, thankfully. I sat back down in my sanctuary of Edward's arms, and he kissed my hair. "What time is it?" I asked anybody.

"Eight, Charlie will want you home." Edward sighed. Tonight we were back at my house, and I'd been allowed to go to the Cullen house _with_ Charlie knowing, for the first time since they'd come back.

"Let's go," I sighed, standing up. He followed, and we walked out, saying our goodbye's to the family first, of course. I couldn't help feeling awkward, especially with what I'd thought happened earlier. In the car, I didn't speak, even though I knew it was just nothing.

"You're blocking me out," He scowled, looking straight ahead, for a change.

"Because there are things in my head I don't want you to hear." I said playfully.

"Like what?"

"Oh, the usual," I grinned at him. He didn't like secrets, especially since now he _could_ hear my thoughts, if I let him. "Maybe it's a surprise."

"Like what?" He asked again, a small smile playing on his face.

"Now, that wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" I laughed. "New Volvo... CDs... early birthday present..." I muttered under my breath, trying not to smile.

"New _Volvo?_ No offense, but, you don't have a job. And my _birthday_ isn't for a long time," He said apologetically.

"Just throwing suggestions your way, if I'm hiding something, doesn't mean it's bad," Actually, it wasn't good _or_ bad; I got a shock, and didn't need to worry him either. Really, it was nothing.

We got back to my house then, and Edward parked his Vanquish far from the house, so Charlie wouldn't notice. I looked in the mirror as I created my human Bella illusion, smiled at Edward, then got out the car. He was going to use the window entrance, and wait for me upstairs. Commitment, or what?

"See you soon," Edward murmured, suddenly appearing beside me. I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him, just as he bent over to kiss me. I kissed his forehead, he kissed my chin. I laughed, as did he. "You're chin is beautiful," He shrugged. "Why shouldn't it get some attention?"

"You love me for my chin?" I laughed.

"No, silly. I meant to do this," He managed to kiss my lips this time, just gently. Screw gentle! I tangled my hands in his soft, copper hair and pulled him back to me. He was just as fierce; a second later I was pressed against the car. A second later, I wasn't. Damn car. "Careful, I don't want to dent it," He said mockingly, stroking the side.

"Leave the bloody car alone," I growled playfully. He turned around, away from the car as though it was a command, and kissed me ferociously.

"You know, this is quite weird, you still seem human, with this illusion, but now I'm allowed to kiss you like this without hurting you," He smiled, once we finally broke apart.

"Like _that_? That was _nothing_." I smirked, just as my phone went off. It was a text from Charlie, at last he'd figured out _how_ to text. "Oh! Come on," I said, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the house. "See you later," I said, pecking his cheek, before walking up to the house. Charlie was waiting, of course. "Sorry, Dad. I got your text just as Edward dropped me off." He just sighed and rolled his eyes, returning to the TV.

"How was your day?" He asked after a while.

"Good, though I nearly got dragged to Port Angeles by Alice. Oh, and I have TONS of homework," Both lies. Alice was flicking through wedding catalogues; not really bothered about what I was doing, and I had no homework, that I cared to do at least. Oh well, there were a lot of things I had to lie about nowadays.

"That Alice," Charlie chuckled, before looking at his watch. "You cut it a bit late for homework, Bells,"

"I know. But it's not for tomorrow; I just want a good start on it."

"Okay, don't stay up too late though, if you don't need to do it all," Hah, I'd be staying up for the rest of my life. I could barely contain my excitement as I ran up the stairs, though I had only seen Edward a few minutes ago. When I walked into my room, he was waiting on my bed, same as the first day he stayed round.

"Miss me?" He chuckled.

"I actually did," I smiled, sitting down next to him.

"I missed you too," He said, pulling me into a hug. I hugged him back, stronger. "Ah, newborn strength," He winced, struggling.

"Oops," I laughed, letting him go. "It's odd to think I'm stronger than you now."

"Well, it's odd for me to know I don't have to resist your blood anymore."

"That's good, I'm glad you're not in pain anymore."

"That's not what you should have been worrying about," He murmured, gently pulling me back into a hug.

I rolled my eyes. "How many times have we had this conversation?"

"Quite a few times now," He chuckled.

"Let's not have the same one again, okay?"

"Take your life _seriously_ then, please." He whispered against my neck.

"I do, I just care about you more... ARG! We're going round in circles!" I got up from the bed and walked to the window. He followed, wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him back, gentler this time.

"I know, but just please grasp the idea that you need to-" That was it –in one simple movement he was lying on the grass, directly below my window. And the window wasn't open. I think I was about as confused as Edward. Somehow, and for some reason, I'd pushed Edward out the window. And broken it, too. This would be easy to explain... _Charlie!_ '_Oh, hey dad, no worries, I just pushed my vampire boyfriend out the window'_. Luckily, I could think of better reasons than that. I grabbed a pair of shoes from my cupboard, and put a sock by the window. Then I jumped out the window myself, put the shoes separate near Edward. He still looked bewildered –and a little scared. I grabbed him quickly, and kissed him.

"I'm so sorry; I don't know what happened there. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," He said cautiously, eyeing the broken window.

"Go hide! Quick!" I said as I jumped back through the window. I sat down, looking dazed, just by the sock. Right on time, Charlie walked in.

"Bella? Are you all right?"

"Yeah... I tripped and the shoes went out the window." I said, looking guiltily over at it. It obviously worked; it sounded like me at least. He sighed, putting a hand to his head.

"You couldn't _try_ to be more careful, could you?" He said.

"I _do_ try! I just... I just tripped!"

"I don't think there's anything I can do about it tonight, Bells. You sleep with the window open anyway, don't you? I'll fix it tomorrow." He sighed again, and walked out. A second later,

Edward appeared in the room again. He still looked wary of me.

"It's okay, I don't know why I did that earlier. I'm really sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I?" I whispered, walking toward him. He kept the cautious look on his face for a second, till it turned into his beautiful crooked grin. He closed the distance between us, clasping my face gently between his hands.

"_Hurt_ me?" He murmured.

"You looked scared, that's all," I shrugged. He laughed, though only in a whisper.

"You _are_ impossibly frightening," He remarked.

"Thought so." I said darkly.

"Of course, you couldn't best me in a fight," He carried on nonchalantly.

"Ha, okay. Shall we see?" I said, trying to sound threatening.

"But...if I'm the most important thing to you, and you're the most important thing to me... How's that meant to work?" He said, smirking. "And if I'm such a monster, I'll probably win..." He was just trying to annoy me now. It was working. I leapt toward him at vampire speed, but by the time I got there, he wasn't. I looked around confusedly, till I felt a cool arm around my waist and a hand on my mouth to stop me from screaming or shouting at him. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough time to curse him; suddenly we were falling backwards. Somehow, my bed was behind us, so there was no noise as we fell.

I don't know how it happened, but first I was angry at him, then his shirt was off. Off, as in it was in shreds on the ground. A few hours later, I was lying in Edward's cool arms, feeling happy and relaxed; without Jasper's help. I hoped to God he wasn't here now. Every now and then, Edward would kiss my hair, or my face, or pull my hand up to kiss it, all the while gently humming my lullaby. It felt just like when I was human, and he would sing me to sleep. I closed my eyes, completely and utterly content.

_In my head, we were back in the meadow, same as the first time we went there. I didn't watch the scene through my own eyes, but through the eyes of an onlooker. I got to see the detail and beauty I didn't manage to pick up with human eyes. I also listened harder to the words being spoken, the ones I maybe didn't register before. Edward loves Bella. No matter who I was being in this dream, that fact was clear. I could feel myself snuggle into Edward's arms, despite the fact I wasn't in my room with him at that moment; I was back in the meadow. There was a slight shocked feeling at the back of my head, but I ignored it; I didn't even know what it was. The dream was too beautiful, nothing could make me care. _

**AN (again) : Okay, there it is. :( I dislike it muchos. Pleaaaase tell me what you think! I need reviews on this one! xD I'm happy to accept dislikes, mutual feelings ;D  
OH, nd pleaaaase don't tell me vampires can't sleep, I knows xD It's all in the plan, man B-) It's sunglasses, btw xD  
I sing the Texan Nerves Song :D  
****As usual, Thankyouuuu for reading or reviewing etc. Please, do continue to, it's very helpful :)**

**Rachee (: x **


	25. Waking Up

I opened my eyes, to find it was morning. I'd woken up. From sleep. I had been asleep; and I'm a vampire. I looked around confusedly, to find Edward lying next to me, staring at me with wide eyes. The panic in them cooled slightly as I looked at him, but never left his features. "You're... awake," He murmured.

"I fell asleep," I said, shocked.

"I hoped so, I thought you might have slipped into some kind of vampire coma. How did you sleep?"

I frowned. "Rather well, actually. But it might have been because you tired me out," I laughed.

"No, I mean as a vampire, how did you come to fall asleep?"

"I don't know." I mumbled, "Human illusion?"

"I don't think so. I don't think you could fool yourself into thinking you wanted to be inactive for that long." Hmm, true. Especially with him beside me all night.

"Speaking of 'that long', what time is it?"

"Ten, Charlie left earlier to go fishing."

"Ten?!" Thank goodness for weekends. "That's pretty late, for me,"

He raised an eyebrow, "Well, considering you haven't fallen asleep since becoming a vampire, I would have to say any time for getting up is late."

"Alright, no need to get sarcastic," I grumbled.

"Sorry, love. I just... you shouldn't be able to... yet you did..." He frowned confusedly.

"If it makes you feel any better, I dreamt of you," I smiled, hoping for a better reaction. He smiled slightly.

"I don't even know if Carlisle will know anything about this... You know, you really should be freaking out right now, you just accomplished the impossible, without even trying."

"Well, I don't know, I mean I was surprised when I managed to fool people into thinking I'm human, this isn't too surprising." I smiled, making him grimace. "Anyway, what are we doing today?"

"Um... First of all, if we could figure something out about my... situation..." He looked uncomfortably at the pile of shreds on the floor.

I laughed, "Well, you wouldn't get done for indecency, you're more than decent," I giggled. He rolled his eyes. "Would you like to wear something of mine?" His scowl was enough of an answer. "Charlie's? No, it would probably be too big, and he would want to wear whatever you would have taken..." He scowled again, and I knew he agreed with my judgement. "I _suppose_ I could run to yours and get something." I said, trying not to laugh.

The trip to the Cullen house was long and embarrassing. When I got there, I was conscious of the time. Charlie might be home at any time; looking for me, and if he was to go into my room looking for me... But I couldn't seem to get out of the house much quicker. Everyone seemed to have something to say to me, Emmett wanted to ask about Rose's birthday present when I was trying to get Edward some suitable clothing. I waited for him to ask what I was doing.

"Bella, why are you looking through Edward's clothing?" He said, halfway through a story.

"Er... because Edward left something..." It sounded like a question, hoping he would believe it.

"You mean spare clothes,"

"Yes!"

He laughed, before asking more questions, "What happened to his other ones?"

"E-mmett!" I groaned.

"Do I want to know?"

"No!" He left after that, giggling away girlishly. I could only guess the torment Edward was going to receive from him later on. I continued looking through Edward's clothes, until I thought about it; Edward had given me no idea of what he wanted to wear, and if I chose for him, he'd end up looking silly, because according to Alice, I could barely dress myself.

"Loose, white shirt and the black skinny jeans," Said a sweet, bell chiming voice. I spun round to see Alice standing in the doorframe, a smirk on her face.

"Alice!" I scowled at her, though I turned to pick up the clothes she suggested.

"Seriously Bella, _try_ and be more discreet about this," She smiled, before her face went blank; though not in a vision way. "Oh, wait. You're Bella Swan, the girl who comes downstairs to greet her father, and her future in-laws with only her underwear and her fiancé's shirt on," She said mockingly.

I growled at her, and with another laugh, she skipped away. I tried to get out of the house quickly, but was intercepted by more family members; I was actually pretty sure Alice had set this up. Eventually, I got back to the house and sprung in through the broken window, throwing the clothes on the bed.

"Thank you," Edward murmured, as he grabbed the clothes. I picked up the shredded old ones.

"Y'know, you really could've fashioned something from these," I said, trying hard to be serious as I held the torn material up. He just raised an eyebrow and began to get dressed. I threw the rags in the bin, and asked again. "So, what are we doing today?"

"Think I'll repair that window," He said, looking over at it. "We don't want Charlie to board it up, so we can only see each other a few hours after school," He grimaced. True, though I didn't like the idea of spending the day doing that.

He guessed the reasons behind the face I pulled, and sighed. "Vampire speed and strength, remember? We'll get this done in no time."

He put my lullaby on as he started work, pottering around at what he needed to do. It occurred to me that he didn't seem to have a clue how to do it. "Arrogance won't help you, Edward." I smiled.

He turned to look at me from the window, "Who said anything about arrogance?"

"Do you know _how_ to fix a window?"

"Yes."

"Well, don't you need a replacement window first?" I smirked. He stood still, looking at me for a second.

"Charlie can do it," He said eventually.

"You're leaving it up to a _human?_" I gasped mockingly. "Why on earth would you do such a thing?"

"Because... He knows how," He mumbled, as I laughed. "Shut up," He growled playfully. "What _will_ we do today?"

"Want to go to yours?" I suggested. He nodded, and we walked downstairs. In the kitchen, I began washing Charlie's breakfast dishes, while Edward sat down at the table, offering several times to do them for me. I refused, and carried on. "So... Whatever happened to the Volvo?" I asked.

He exhaled sharply, and I turned to look at him; surprised by his reaction. Well, not _that_ surprised. He looked as upset as a toddler being questioned about the death of Barney the Dinosaur. "An... accident occurred."

"I know someone got angry and 'killed' it, but surely, with your talent you would be able to figure out who?" The pained look was still there, he shifted uneasily in the seat. "Wow, _you_ wrecked the Volvo?!"

"I regretted it instantly," He said quickly, as though it would make him feel better.

"_Why_?" I said; curious. Nothing could make him bring harm upon the Volvo.

"That doesn't matter, all we need to know is that it's in a better place now," He said seriously.

"What? You mean the scrapheap?" I said, grabbing the cereal box and a bowl.

His eyes glinted angrily, trying to communicate to me not to insult the damn car.

"Tell me why you broke it?" I said, pouring 'Cheerio's' absently into the bowl. A couple missed, I think.

"I was... angry." He muttered. Sheesh, it sounded like he was confessing to a murder.

"About what?"

"Leaving," He said passively.

"Leaving Forks?"

"Mm," He nodded.

"And me?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you think I would burn my favourite car to scrap; on a bonfire, just because I was leaving _Forks_? Of course it was because of you,"

"Aw, that's very sweet... and a bit twisted... On a _bonfire_?" I giggled.

"With fireworks," He growled grudgingly. "Though that was Alice. And Emmett, and Rose, and Jasper... Alice saw it happening, and wanted a show, so she stuffed the damn thing full of them. And I _did_ actually enjoy watching it, until I remembered I did _like _the car." I could actually picture it now, and the scene made me laugh to no end. I put the spoon down, before cereal went everywhere. "...Bella?" Edward asked cautiously. "What are you doing?"

His tone made me stop laughing instantly. Oh, no; he wasn't going to kill me for making fun of his car, was he? "Uh... I _was_ laughing, and now I'm talking to you, and wanting to finish my breakfast," I heard the sentence play back in my head, and recognized the problem. "Ah," I said, looking down at the bowl in front of me. "Well... I was going to eat my cereal... But now I'm not too sure..." I frowned confusedly at the little 'O's looking up at me.

"You want to eat _human_ food?" He asked, shocked.

"Maaaaybe," I said, still looking at them. To be honest, I kind of did. _Vampire,_ I thought. Yuck, no, I did _not _want to eat the cereal. I pushed it away, while Edward stared at me in shock. Then he shook his head, as though trying to dispel the weirdness of it. "Come on; let's go to your house then. Maybe Alice or Rose can show me the designers' new wedding ranges," I sighed.

"If it bothers you that much, forget it, we won't have a big wedding," He smiled.

"No, let's. The first is always the best," I quoted Alice there, damn it. He said nothing as we got in the car, though he looked secretly pleased. His smile made me smile. I looked in the mirror quickly, only to see I'd slipped back to looking human again. I was going to change back, but changed my mind. Whatever I looked like was fine for now, though Alice might see differently...

At the Cullen house, only Emmett, Esme and Carlisle were in the main room. I had actually expected to see Alice, waiting on me. Obviously, I would have to be careful walking through the hallways, just in case I got kidnapped for wedding plans. Emmett was immersed in a wrestling match on TV, while Carlisle and Esme were reading a book together. We only got basic acknowledgements, until Esme looked up at us, realizing we hadn't moved from the door.

"Oh! Hello Bella," She smiled apologetically. "I thought it was Alice and Jasper, they should be back any minute-" She was cut off by their appearance.

"Hey, Bella," She said nonchalantly.

"Alice," Edward said sternly, glaring at her.

"What?!" She said as though trying not to smile.

"Don't you think you should confirm these things with others _first_? Especially Bella... and Rose."

"Fine," She huffed. "Bella, I've arranged your wedding." She said, unabashedly. I rolled my eyes. "Unfortunately, so has Rose. So, to decide, we are going to-"

"Fight to the death." Emmett said ominously, suddenly paying attention. They all scowled at him. "No...? Okay," He turned back to the game.

"To decide, we are going to let you pick," She smiled. I groaned.

"Alice... I've said before. It's waay too soon. I might not want things I decide now."

"That leaves only one choice..." She smiled, as though she was expecting my response.

"Fight to the death?" Jasper grinned hopefully. Alice laughed, causing Emmett to scowl at her.

"You didn't laugh when I said it," He pouted.

She ignored him. "Anyway... That just means everyone _but_ you chooses." I rolled my eyes again, wondering if that was meant to sound threatening. "But that doesn't mean fighting," She giggled. "Can you imagine Rose and I fighting?" She said thoughtfully. Everyone else seemed to be trying to picture it too. I certainly couldn't. They'd both keep stopping to adjust their hair or clothing.

"Speaking of which, where is Rose?" Edward frowned.

"Car," They all said monotonously.

Nothing much else happened that day, Alice demanded that I stayed over; she even called Charlie to see if it was alright if I stayed over. Of course, he obliged; whatever Alice wanted. She did my makeup, she did my hair, and by the end, I could swear there was a bridal look about it. "So... what do you think of your hair like this?" She questioned, trying to sound indifferent.

"Um..." I looked up at it in the mirror; which she had allowed me to look in. I inspected it carefully, knowing that showing an interest was the only way to get out of this quickly, with Alice at least. The top layer of my hair was pulled up into a tight bun, while the rest of it was hanging in loose curls around it. She had put fancy clips and studs through the bun, making it sparkle.

"Perfect, only..." The hair suddenly turned a sickly green colour, and the bun fell out. Alice squeaked in shock, but I was laughing. Wow, my power was so much fun to use around Alice. Then, my hair was on fire. No; my hair _was_ the fire. Alice had of course realized what was going on, and was staring at me apathetically, arms folded across her chest. I got bored, as soon as she stopped reacting. "Sorry," I mumbled, as the hair returned to normal.

"Thought so." She grumbled, and began fishing through her nail varnishes. "Want to go _bold_?" She grinned, looking in her bag.

"Not really,"

"Great!" She pulled out fluorescent colours; yellow, green, pink and orange, and grabbed my hand. At first, I flexed my fingers when she tried to apply it, but she kept slapping my hands, so I stopped. In the end, Alice's girly side got the best of her, and my nails were fluorescent pink; I wondered if they would glow in the dark.

Suddenly, a sweet, melodic sound drifted up the stairs to the room. Edward was playing the piano; more specifically, my lullaby. Alice began talking again, and I just nodded, no longer paying attention. I was listening to the separate levels in each of the notes, how they sounded together. I had never been a musician, but it felt like I could almost pinpoint what every note was. And of course, the melody was beautiful altogether. Sometimes it twinkled, sometimes it stomped. It all fit together perfectly of course, Edward had written it. Before I knew it, the song had ended, and I was standing in Alice's massive wardrobe, a dress halfway over my head. I struggled, trying to get it off, but there was a force pulling it down over me. Alice. Eventually, my head squeezed out.

"Hm... Larger size, surprisingly." She said, inspecting it.

"What am I wearing?" I said, not sure whether I wanted to look down at it or not. When it was over my head, it seemed rather _white_. _Too_ white, for my liking at least.

"Firstly, I'm not going to tell you, if you can't figure it out, and secondly, do you really want to know?"

"Not really," I moaned, feeling sick at what I _thought_ it was.

"Kay," She smiled absently, looking back at the dress. She had a clipboard, and would write on it every now and again. This confirmed my fear. My _wedding dress_. "Okay dokay," She grinned, throwing the clipboard back into her room. She looked round, as though considering what to do next. "You know... everything in here is as much mine as it is yours,"

"I know, you've said; several times."

"I didn't think you'd remembered, seeing as you normally decide to wear... other things." She said; hesitant, but mocking. She then decided I would be her life-size Barbie doll, and a model for all her clothes that she hadn't wore yet. I was basically forced to be shorter, so I would fit in her clothes. I called it slavery, she could call it whatever.

**AN: So.... Only one review? Grr. xD I don't mind... Much,.  
So yeah, long chapter..... I kinda have a plan for _how_ I'm going to write my ideas out, so I just kept on writing! No, thats enough for the chapter. (:**

**Though I have an idea, I don't mind suggestions or questions, ('Nother poet moment xD) I want to see what people think will happen, or want to happen. Don't be shy, xD **

**Thanks everybody! Thanks, Dr. Nick! Haha,,,, Don't ask, cause idk why that was written...... :P**

**Rachee (:  
xxxxxxxx**


	26. Fear

**Disclaimer: I own none of the films I mention, I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters. They are their own persons, I just tell them to do what I want. _Edward, get in here and gimme that shirt!_ Lol, I wish :(**

After my Barbie session with Alice, she practically demanded we watched films. Emmett, Jasper and Edward were forced off of the Wii™, and Alice made the main room look like a party/sleepover room. She put duvets down on the sofa and floor around them, with what I could imagine to be all the pillows in the house. The movies she had got were far beyond suspicious; "Bride Wars", "Made of Honour", "The Wedding Planner" and plenty of other wedding films. I glared at Alice as she stared innocently at the screen; though I'm sure she was watching me when I looked at the screen. Edward stayed to watch them too, much to Alice's satisfaction. I actually think she threatened him. She acted like she was trying to get us to consider the idea of marriage, rather than trying to convince me it would be amazing. Oh, I knew it would be amazing, that's what I was afraid of.

It was about 6am, and we had watched nearly all the bridal movies Alice owned. She was smiling, "Personal achievement," She laughed. "I've never watched all _those _movies in one night," Edward frowned at her. "No, that was our _horror_ movie night. You were there," She laughed again. "Want to watch another film?" She said enthusiastically.

"Alice, won't anyone else want to use the main room?" I asked, looking around at the messy covers.

"Nope, I reserved it." She grinned. I let it drop with a sigh, which turned to a yawn.

"I can't believe I stayed up all night," I sighed.

"As opposed to what, exactly?" Alice said, frowning at me.

"Sleeping. I'm so tired." I turned to scowl at her, "I hold you responsible, by the way."

"_Sleeping?!_ Bella, vampires can't sleep,"

"I know, but I have a tendency to," I smiled sheepishly, forgetting that Alice didn't know these things. She shook her head incredulously, turning to look at the stack of films she'd brought downstairs with her. Just then, my phone went off. Charlie, at 6am? What had happened? I answered as quickly as I could, hands shaking. Charlie would have no need to call this early, unless something bad had happened. "Hello?!"

"Hey, Bella. Sorry for calling so early, it's just..."

""What happened Dad, is everyone alright?!"

"Everyone's fine, no emergency. I was just wondering if..." He took a deep breath, "If Edward would want to come fishing with Billy and I?" This took me by surprise; not only did Dad want _Edward_ to go fishing, but Billy agreed? Billy Black, of the Quileute, werewolf tribe?

"Did Billy ask too?"

"Yeah, he and Jake want us to have a day out fishing at La Push, will you ask him? He isn't still asleep, is he?"

"Er..." I looked around the room. Alice and Edward were staring at the phone in shock; of course they had heard the conversation. "I don't know, I'm in Alice's room, I'll go see." Charlie laughed, perhaps a little disbelieving? But said nothing. I got up and walked around the room a little. Edward held his hand out for the phone.

"Hello, Mr Swan. Charlie, sorry," He paused for a second as Charlie spoke. "Uh... Sure. Are you sure Billy and Jacob are okay with me being in La Push? I hear they don't normally let my family there..." Edward asked innocently, "Oh? Okay, well I don't mind coming," Pause, "Yes, I would love to come. I've never been fishing before," Pause, "Yes, great, okay. Okay, thanks. Bye," He hung up then, a smirk on his face. "I'm going fishing with your father in La Push," He said, almost triumphantly.

"Well done. You've kissed his ass enough times," Alice grumbled sarcastically.

"That's great, Edward!" I said, actually glad. At least it sounded like Charlie had forgiven them, and the treaty with the wolves...? "I'm surprised the wolves actually let you in La Push," I smiled.

"Werewolves?!" Edward said, looking at me, as did Alice, though I'm sure I told her about them.

"Um, yes. Who do you think saved me from Victoria?" They shared a glance. "Aw, come on! I thought you knew about them, back from the time of Ephraim Black, Levi Uley and company?"

"I did," He said, looking stunned. "I just didn't know they were back," I could detect a snarl at the end of this sentence.

"Hey, they helped me when you couldn't!" I said, making him look down, ashamed. "And they're my friends! They're letting you back into their land, as a welcoming, at last, not as an invitation for you to get rid of them! Be nice!" I punched his arm playfully, just to lighten to mood after reminding him of their absence.

"She's right, Edward. This is an _honour_," Alice mocked.

"Alice," Edward and I said, and she looked away, trying not to laugh.

"I probably should go," Edward mumbled. "It's only fair to accept the truce; and find out _why_."

"Damn right you're going!" I laughed. "Actually, I'm surprised, I thought you would have been annoyed at me for being friends with a werewolf," I chuckled, as Edward's eyes widened. Obviously, he hadn't thought of that area.

"Bel-!" He started, but I didn't let him finish.

"Go, it's with Charlie at least. You can't get involved in any supernatural species wars with him around, can you? I'll wait back here for you," I smiled, watching him stutter and stammer was hilarious. Eventually, he gave up, mumbling profanities as he got ready to go. That just left Alice and I. She had a glint in her eye, one that made me think of shopping, or makeup. "I've already had my makeup done by you today, Alice." I said, trying to sound stern, through the fear.

"No... that was yesterday."

"It was 11.45!"

"Yes, exactly 15 minutes till it would have been today. Come on, I don't want to be the odd one out when we go shopping." She grinned as my face fell. Makeup _and _shopping. There was only so much a girl could take.

"Alice," I groaned. "I'm _really_ tired. Can't I sleep for a few hours? It's like 6am. Shops won't be open."

"The best ones will." She said seriously. "But if you want your sleep... just don't get mad when I've already done your makeup." She grinned wickedly. "Weird, _weird _vampire," Was the last thing I heard before closing my eyes.

"What the-?"

"Huh?"

"What happened here?" Was all I heard as I slowly woke up. I hadn't opened my eyes yet, so I didn't know who said them, but they all had the perfect, beautiful tone I knew only to be vampire. My eyelids fluttered carelessly open. Of course, it was the Cullen family in front of me. "Awake at last?" Emmett said curiously. The rest of them were surrounding me, all looking confused. I noticed then that all the duvets and pillows from the sleepover had been removed.

"What time is it?"

"Nine," Rosalie smiled to herself, or her nail file; I couldn't be sure. "Edward is still out... fishing," She laughed. I laughed too, but I caught the look on some of the Cullen's faces and instantly stopped. Not _some_ of them, but Esme and Carlisle's only; they looked terrified, or confused, I couldn't tell. I guessed it was just because they had found me asleep, when that was meant to be impossible.

"I don't know, I just... sleep sometimes." I shrugged. "I think it has something to do with my illusion power, but I don't know." They still looked horrified, Carlisle seemed to be frozen in shock. That made me panic. Had I missed something in my sleep?

I was about to ask if anything was wrong, until I was overcome with a weird sensation. I needed to be sick. For real. I got up and dashed past them, unable to go at vampire speed, somehow. I got to the bathroom, with Alice and Rose following me.

"Bella?!" Alice exclaimed, as I leaned over the toilet. _Oh, hey Alice, how are you? _Nice conversation to hold with your head over a toilet.

"What the hell...?" Rose murmured. Suddenly, two more people were upstairs.

"Alice, Rose! Give her some space." Carlisle basically barked, and they instantly moved back, out of the bathroom.

"Sorry," They both mumbled.

"Could you two girls go downstairs? I think Bella will be embarrassed with an audience..." Esme asked quietly, worry burning behind her voice. They were gone then, just as I washed my mouth out. I don't even know what I puked up!

"Bella, are you alright?" Carlisle asked, going into 'doctor-mode'.

"Yes, actually... I just... I really needed to be sick." I looked around confusedly. So, I had fallen asleep earlier. This was the same level of weirdness, I guess.

"Well, you are human at the moment, aren't you?" Esme said, still worried.

"What?! No, it's just an illusion, as far as I know. I can't reverse transformation," I laughed, till I realized she hadn't agreed with me, or laughed or anything to show she didn't believe the impossible.

"Bella, I can hear a heartbeat." Carlisle said, "And you look human, smell human. I am speaking to a human Bella Swan."

I just stared at him. Surely I hadn't been able to fool him _that_ much. "Look, I swear it's an illusion. Hang on," I was about to change, when Esme suddenly stopped me.

"Don't!" She yelled. "Bella, please, wait."

"Wait for what? What is it? So I seem human, that isn't a big problem, what's wrong?" I said, getting upset. Before I knew it, tears streamed down my face. I wiped them away, like the insignificant water droplets they were. Esme looked away, her eyes sparkling with the tears that would never fall. I turned to Carlisle. "Please, tell me why you are worrying," I sobbed. They exchanged an uneasy look, and Esme turned to look at me again, apologetically. I thought about all the things that might have gone wrong... Edward.

No, Rosalie wouldn't have joked about him if she knew he was in danger. Everyone else was there... Maybe a threat from another coven...

"If we could go to my office, it might be better," Carlisle said, turning away and walking toward his office. "Esme? Will you join us, or go back downstairs?" He asked, looking back at her. She looked at him, then at me, then at the stairway. She reached out and gently took my hand in hers, and rubbed it with her soft, cold hand, as though she was trying to be reassuring. It just made me more frightened. With a watery smile, she ran downstairs. I followed Carlisle to his office, shaking in worry.

"What's going on?!" I said, as soon as we were in the warm, woody room. He went round the other side of his desk, and sat down.

"If you could sit down..." He said uncomfortably. I sat angrily. This was getting beyond annoying; couldn't he just tell me what was up?

He didn't look me in the eye. Had I said something wrong in my sleep? Were they angry at me? Why wouldn't he look at me? Oh, please don't let it be that I had broadcasted a rude dream to them... "Please tell me," I begged.

"I..." He started, but seemed unable to finish. He looked surprised with what he had to say. Perhaps I had proclaimed love for him... Oh, God, please don't let me have spoken in my sleep. He drew in a deep breath, and looked like he was about to speak for several seconds. _Spit it out, Carlisle_. I thought venomously. "Bella," For goodness sake, how hard to say was it? Maybe he was declaring love for _me,_ I thought, and nearly laughed at it.

"Yes?" I answered, though it hadn't been a question. Perhaps it would make him say it quicker. It didn't. He shifted uneasily, and looked at me with wide eyes, inspecting me.

Frightened, I began to think that maybe I was right about him coming on to me. Now, what do you say to a future in-law when that happens? Terrified, I crossed my fingers and hoped that wasn't what he was about to say. Actually, what he said was nothing like that. It would have been a relief, but the alternative made me wish Carlisle was _indeed_ in love with me. Another deep breath; "Bella, I can hear two heartbeats."

**AN: Dum Dum DUMM!!!! Okay, so what's happening? Hmm... If you guess right, I will.... Mention you? Hmm... Or something like that... Idk, read and review any stories you have? IDK? Please..... Review?**

**Thanks for reading, and reviewing, you friendly people you! If you have something negative about this story, especially tell me! I need to know what you think! :(  
Oh, man, I get waaaay too paranoid. Seriously, tell me if you think it's going weird,, or anything... :S Or tell me what you think will happen,,, like I said. Or even what you want to happen? Pleaaaaaaaaase??? xD**

**Cheers. x**

**Rachee (: xxx**


	27. Secrets & Surprises

**AN: How does this work out, then? Hmm... **

I sat in Carlisle's office, terrified. He had basically told me I have two hearts. Either that, or I'm pregnant. Neither of them are possible. I'm a vampire; I'm not meant to be able to have children. Carlisle still wouldn't look at me; but I needed him to speak, I needed answers. "Carlisle?" I whimpered. His head shot up from the candle he was looking at. He didn't need to ask, of course. There was another long silence, I was about to scream at him. Now was not the time for suspense. He took a deep breath, "So..." _So?_ I stared at him angrily. "Normally, I wouldn't believe it myself, this is not possible for... our kind." _I know!_ I shrieked in my head, something I was too scared to do aloud. But you... you aren't a normal vampire, are you?" His lips turned up in the corners, as though he was trying to smile.

I stared at him confusedly, "Um... what? I don't know what you mean, how am I not normal?"

"Well, you see... Edward's power; mind reading. It didn't start of like it is now. He can control it better, block out minds, hone in on others. Also, the distance he can hear has increased over the years. And Alice... Her visions used to just come in bursts, she had no way of deliberately checking the future. And her visions were very selective, only showing her things for a certain amount of time, and they weren't always about what she wanted to know. Again, over the years, her power has become stronger. Same with Jasper. Eventually, all vampires' powers will become more powerful, to some extent. But this process takes years, often hundreds. I doubt we have seen the full extent of my children's powers, just yet."

"Carlisle, I don't see what you're getting at."

"Are you sure you aren't using an illusion right now?"

"I am not using an illusion now." I said through gritted teeth.

"Are you sure? I am certain I am sitting talking to a human."

"What?!" I searched frantically in my head, trying to find some disguise, secret to even me.

"You look, and smell exactly the same as the first time I met you, as a human." I was about to get rid of the invisible illusion, before Carlisle stopped me. "Please, don't change back, at least not until we know everything about the... situation."

I was getting impatient now, and still as anxious as before. "Carlisle, please. Do you have any ideas about... what exactly is happening?" It was odd how neither of us mentioned _what_ exactly was happening. We were both afraid, I guess.

"Well, I was getting on to the illusions, and your power. As I was saying, it takes a very long time for talents to progress. You, on the other hand, don't even know you are doing it. It's automatic; a defence mechanism, to hide the truth from humans? Or a simple accident, thinking about humans, with no intention of inflicting a disguise upon yourself? Either way, I do not think there is anything vampire about you, at the moment." He reached a hand out, "May I?" I reached out to touch his hand. A second later, he pulled it away. "Hm, just as I suspected, warm and soft, human." I looked down at my arm; there was a pulse in my vein. My skin did not twinkle slightly in the light of the candle. "Bella, your illusion has made you human once again." I could feel my eyes widen, and I gasped.

"I can still be a vampire, right?" I asked, panicking. I didn't want to feel the fire in my veins again, and I doubted Edward would even do it, now I'd been given a second chance.

"I'm sure you can. If I am right, it is just an illusion, once you remove it you will be a vampire again." I closed my eyes, ready to think it away. "Please don't." Carlisle said quickly.

"Why not?" I frowned. Now that we knew what was up, surely...?

"There still is the problem of...?" He trailed off suggestively, looking at me properly for the first time. More specifically, looking at my stomach.

"Oh, right."

"As I was saying, in your illusion, it is like a miniature, temporary transformation between human and vampire. A switch, if you will. Now, I'm sure that... this must have started when you were in a human form... It would be impossible otherwise. Actually, I don't even know if human and vampires conceiving is possible; I have never heard of it happening before..." I thought about it. I had no recollection of what I looked or felt like at the time, so I just nodded. The alternative couldn't be anyway. "And... like you... this... will only be able to grow –or change, rather- when you are human, as vampires cannot change. Why I don't think it is a good idea for you to change is simply because I do not know what will happen; whether I am right, or that it shall die. I am guessing you do not want that to happen, seeing as you haven't asked about that possibility yet."

"No, Dr. – I mean, Carlisle. I do not want that," How could I possibly want that? I had always been against abortions, and to be honest, I didn't know if it would be possible. I thought about Esme, losing her child. That would be how she knew. I didn't want to feel the loss that she did, especially if I had a decision. I didn't even know what this creature was. Human, vampire, in between? "What will it be?" I whispered, suddenly afraid.

"I have no idea." Alice, I would ask her at the same time I would stop her from blabbing. "But, due to all of this uncertainty, I think this should stay secret, until we know a bit more. I can think of a few who may react badly, considering there is an element of danger on your part."

"Edward." I said, almost automatically. If he knew I was in any danger... "And... I don't think he would take it easily if the rest of the family hid their thoughts from him. Just you, me and Alice,"

"Alice..." He sighed. "Yes, she will know, if she doesn't already. I would make sure she is silenced, quickly, if I were you,"

"Yes," I sighed. I wanted to see if I could hear her bouncing around, an indication she knew. Or maybe fidgeting... I didn't know how she would take it. _Vampire_. I thought, as I saw Carlisle gasp, a protest caught in his throat. I realized then, what might have happened.

"Ah," He sighed, slightly relieved. "I was right. Nothing wrong has happened. If I am to continue being right, you will stay like that, until human again, when the child shall slowly continue its growth."

"You mean...?"

"Your child changes, the same as you." He nodded. There was a silence. "You really should check on Alice," He smiled, looking back at the candle. I nodded and silently stood up. "Oh, and Bella? You have a doctor's appointment every week, at least. Unless you need to see about... this... sooner, or if I see a problem," I nodded again, and walked out of his office. The conversation had been one of the scariest in my life; second only to the one where Edward left. I tried to be brave about it; Carlisle would look after me, it would be safe. Unfortunately, with knowledge comes fear. And it was there with uncertainty, too, though I was glad I had been told, at least now I could try hide it better, stop Edward from going into a panic. I wanted it to be like when happy families had children, rather than the father panicking over the safety of the mother, he would be happy that they would have a family together. When I got this figured out to tell Edward, he would be happy, I decided firmly. I didn't have much time to think about this, though. Alice was to be seen to. I walked downstairs, conscious of my every move now. There was a creature –a child- frozen inside me now. Alice was in the main room, with Edward and Jasper. As soon as I walked in, I had a feeling I was too late. The wedding magazine she had been reading was sprawled on the floor, and she was staring anxiously at the door.

"Bella," She smiled, getting up to hug me. I could feel tension in the hug. She turned back to face Edward again. "Edward, Bella has something to-" She started, before she was ripped out of the room. We were in the garden, far from eavesdroppers. I was going to have to whisper, too. "Bella, what the hell?" Alice asked, looking around confusedly.

"Alice Cullen," I hissed. "Do you _really_ want Edward to know about this so soon, when it still seems dangerous?"

"But, Bella-"

"Alice, you remember when you and your family left me, right? You remember _why_?" I said in her ear.

"Yes," She looked at the ground, still ashamed.

"Do you think Edward reacts well to danger, caused to me?"

"No, but-"

"I can't tell him, not until I know everything will be alright,"

"Okay..." She grimaced, before hugging me again. "Bella, are you sure? I'm as frightened as he will be; how can you let this happen?"

"Carlisle had a theory, it made it sound better," I smiled. That was beginning to become less of a lie, every second. "When I am human, it is too. Therefore, we can grow and change. When like this, we are both frozen in time, the way we are."

"You mean you really become human again with your illusion?"

"Basically," I shrugged, not entirely sure myself. I would just take Carlisle's word for it.

"That is _cool_," Alice grinned. "Though kinda scary. I'm so sorry though, Bella." She sounded like she was going to cry.

"Alice, don't be, it's not your fault, and I _do_ want this," How perfect, to have our little family of three; Edward, the baby and I. Both a human, and a vampire. She looked into my eyes for an immeasurable amount of time, before smiling.

"I can't see your baby, or much in the way of the future right now, but I have a _feeling_ you will be happy." She laughed. She began walking back to the door.

"Alice!" I hissed again. She looked back at me, confusedly. "Don't _ever_ think of this again!" She just smiled and nodded, before gently grabbing my arm and pulling me back in the house with her. Back in the main room, Edward was waiting for us, a confused expression on his face. Hopefully, he hadn't heard _anything_.

"What were you saying before, Alice?" He asked, frowning.

"Oh, um... Bella and I are... giving Jasper a makeover!" She smiled, after some hesitation. _Perfect_. Jasper's head shot up from his book, eyes wide with panic.

"Oh, no Alice! No!" He pleaded. The room was filled with a desperate mood, though nobody but him was affected.

"Not a girly one," She giggled. "You'll look like a guy this time, only with makeup on; like a film star or a rockstar." She grinned. Jasper had no choice in the matter, though. The motorbike Edward had promised him for his birthday was an easy target, if she wanted something. Alice dragged the two of us upstairs, only for me to walk back down again. No way I was getting involved with Alice becoming carried away with makeup. I walked back over and sat next to Edward. He wrapped his arms around me as soon as I sat down, and though he didn't even know it, the simple gesture meant a lot to me.

"How was fishing?" I asked.

"It was good, I guess." He mumbled.

"No supernatural fights, I take it?"

"No, but they don't trust us... yet. There were wolves all around the lake." I pictured Edward, stuck in a boat with Charlie and Billy.

"Did they tell you _why_ they wanted you to come?"

"Not exactly," He grimaced.

"So what about Charlie? Did you and him have a good conversation?"

"Of sorts... I'll tell you about it in the car,"

"The car? Where are we going?"

"I'm not sure yet, wherever." He smiled, standing up and pulling me up with him. What if Edward didn't want a child, and wouldn't be happy when I told him anyway? He would, he wanted us to be a family more than anything. What if he leaves again when he finds out? I began to feel the despair and worry pile on my shoulders as we got in the car.

**AN: So... make sense? Reivew and tell me? xD **

**Thinking of maybe doing Edward's POV in the next chapter.... But tell me what you think of this one first! :)**

**Thanks, btw for reviewing. Though I only got one, this time :( and angelplusbuffyequals4ever got it right :D I need more readers and reviewers! Review if you read. Read it! xD**

**Rachee (: xxxx**


	28. Fishing

**EPOV.**

Excellent, just fantastic. I'd basically been kicked out of the house to go fishing. And not just with anyone, Bella's father Charlie, and werewolves. They'd all be having a go at me. Maybe this was just a set up, so they could all kill me. I wouldn't be surprised. I was meeting Charlie at his house, and he was going to take us there in the cop car. For once, I didn't drive quickly, I tried to prolong the short moments of peace I had. Unfortunately, even going at 30mph gets you there sometime. The instant I was out the car, Charlie was out of his house, fishing gear in hand. If it wasn't rude, I would have groaned.

"Hey, sport!" He said cheerfully, breaking out into a whistle. For the love of Esme, do not call me 'sport'. I smiled tightly and got in the car when he gestured. "Sorry, kid. There's no room in the front, that's where I keep my fishing kit," He said, voice still cheerful, but thoughts menacing. He believed the back of the police car was the perfect place for me. I tried not to laugh as he started the car. "Ever been fishing before?" He asked, switching the radio on.

"No, sir. I'm hoping to learn from the best," Alice was right, I _am_ a kiss-ass. He didn't take it as flattery.

"You making fun of me?" He asked, looking at me in the mirror.

"No, sir." I said quickly. Yes, they definitely wanted to kill me.

"So... what's all this about the Quileutes not letting you in La Push? Know why?"

"Uh..." _They're scared I'll drink their blood, or break out into an interspecies war, to name a few._ "We've never really bothered to ask, my family are more about the land than beaches and water."

"Right..." He said thoughtfully. His mind wandered to tales Billy had told him about creatures forbidden from their land. He dismissed it before I needed to distract him. "Wonder what the change is for..." If I'm in their land, they have a right to kill me, and war with my family... Oh, crap. But if they invited me, surely...? "Here we are," Charlie said loudly, followed by another tuneless whistle. "Amazing, this place. Shame you've never seen it before. Perfect place for wildlife... you can look anywhere and see some creature!" So this is where all the deer and mountain lions have been hiding... I could practically sense every animal in the place. It had been a long time since I was last here, the wolf scent was almost intoxicating now. Back then, it had been a population of three werewolves. Three was enough.

Charlie continued driving down a route I suspected was the way to the Blacks' house. When he stopped the car, he put the siren on quickly, with a chuckle. It was so loud, and with my increased hearing, it almost burnt. "That'll get em' up." No need, Billy was up waiting for Jacob and his... brothers to come back from the woods. Either that was extremely good news, or terrible news. Out of the door, came a wheelchair, with a stout, fierce looking man in it. Billy, of course. I had seen him since, but now I could remember the days when there was no treaty, and I had seen Billy as a child, with his father Ephraim. We had moved on soon after, but the legends and warnings hadn't changed. As soon as he spotted me, his eyes narrowed. _I thought I was invited?_ He said nothing, but instead waited on Charlie to come out and greet him. Charlie and I got out the car at the same time,

"Billy!" Charlie exclaimed, walking over to the wheelchair. "How've you been?"

"Great, yourself?" He said, not taking his eyes off me.

"I'm good, thanks. I asked the kid," He said, following Billy's gaze. I suddenly felt very awkward, with the two of them staring at me. Neither of them had particularly violent thoughts toward me, Billy couldn't remember if I was the 'Mind-reader one' or not, and Charlie, Charlie was just thinking about the day of fishing ahead.

"Good, good." Billy smiled tightly at me. "You know who I am, right?" He asked me.

"Better than anyone else," I smiled. Charlie laughed in his ignorance, and Billy knew instantly that I was the 'Mind-reading one'.

"Where's Jake? Can't get him up?" Charlie asked. I watched as Billy panicked internally. His face stayed an old, blank mask.

"Yeah, boy likes his sleep," Billy grumbled. He saw me smirk, and smiled slightly.

"Will the rest of his gang be coming too?" Charlie asked, getting his fishing gear out.

"Yes, the rest of Sam's gang are coming," Billy smiled. I had to cough to stop me from laughing. It was funny how it always had to be the Alpha's, when dealing with the pack. Suddenly, the scent of wolf came closer. Someone could be heard closing the back door of the house and walking in. A second later, Jacob appeared in the front door.

"Hey, Charlie, hey, Dad." He smiled, before looking at me. _Hey, who invited the leech?_ He thought. I wondered if Billy shared the wolves mental connection, because he answered Jacob's question.

"I invited Edward over, so we could go fishing, are you coming, Jake?"

"Sure," He smiled warily, still looking at me. Soon after, we were joined by the rest of the pack. With the rest of my family, I wouldn't feel so intimidated, but alone, with all these wolves around me was quite unnerving. Not one of them hinted at the change of mood toward my family and I. Except maybe Jacob... he thought about Bella every now and then, not in a way that would make me want to hit him, but in a friendly way. Maybe it was to do with Bella. We were going to drive down to the lake where they wanted to go fishing, but Sam stepped in at the last minute.

"Perhaps, if Edward and I, along with some of the others just walked? The cars will get cramped otherwise."

"Sure," Billy agreed. Some of the wolves nodded.

"Okay," I smiled. _Oh, crap. Mauled to death by wolves._

Charlie frowned. "It's about a couple of miles away, isn't it? Are you sure you want to walk?"

"We can run fast," One of the pack piped up. Charlie didn't doubt him, he appraised their height and nodded.

In the forest, on the way to the lake, I instantly expected to be torn to shreds as soon as we were out of sight. They had invited me, as though in a truce, but were going to kill me anyway. Sam spoke up first, not surprisingly. "Edward. You may be wondering why we have allowed you to our land. We just want you to know, this is not a free thing. You can come here, though only with our confirmation."

"Yes, okay. But why?" I asked, unable to find it in their minds.

"Well, since Bella is my friend, but is also part of your family, we decided we can't keep the treaty for the rest of you, but not her." Jacob said. There were grumbles from behind him, and I guessed a few would disagree.

"Um... great. But we have survived so long without permission into La Push, I don't know if we have reason to come back."

"I understand you were not particularly friendly with this Victoria leech, or her accomplice Laurent. When we got them, both times it was with the distraction of your Bella, and on one occasion, she got..."

"Leeched!" One of the pack interrupted Sam, causing growls.

"Yes, I shall go with Embry's description. She got 'leeched'. As protectors of this area, we do not wish to have to sacrifice humans to get rid of nuisances. We would appreciate your help, if not acquaintanceship," His nose wrinkled at the last word.

They wanted to have a truce, become friends with my family? "I'll have to speak with Carlisle, and the rest of my family, but I expect this will be okay, judging by your hospitality."

"On the other hand, you are still forbidden from _hunting_ in these areas."

"Done." I said, though I couldn't help but listen to the wildlife around, much more abundant than of that in Forks.

"Shall we go fishing, then?" He smiled. We began running, slowly for vampires and werewolves, but quick for humans. The wolves talked like I wasn't there.

"Hey, Sam? Do fish have blood?" One of them asked. I heard a slap as Jacob hit him at the back of the head, pushing him forward.

"Hey, OW!" He yelled, and they both exploded, tumbling away as hairy werewolves. They reappeared a second later, laughing and joking. I rolled my eyes and concentrated on running. Childish creatures.

"You old man," One of them, a younger one said playfully. Seth Clearwater. "Have some fun!" He grinned.

_Alright,_ I smirked. I disappeared from the group of them, running at top vampire speed, only to return a minute later with his toothbrush. "You didn't brush today," I smirked, throwing it at him. "You reek of human food." He laughed, taking the brush and throwing it away. The others didn't laugh, they thought I'd been trying to make a break from them, and roam around La Push. Idiots. We reached the lake then, where the others were setting up. I hoped there wasn't too much skill about fishing.

Frustration; human frustration is not a pretty sight. Nor is werewolf frustration. Turns out I have a bit of a knack for fishing. I stood, chuckling as I reeled in another, trying to make it look like there was some effort involved, as the others attempted to position the lure near a fish.

"Well done, sport. And you say you've never been fishing before?" Charlie smiled, a little tightly.

"No, actually, I haven't." Charlie raised his eyebrows, but only his thoughts spoke. _Liar_. He thought, though he wasn't that angry. "So, did Bella have fun at you place last night?"

"Yes, Alice gave her makeovers, and as far as I know, they watched films a lot of the night."

"Okay," Charlie grinned. He seemed satisfied with my story not to try killing me. "You and her, eh? Engaged..." He let out a gust of air. "That's a big step."

"Yes, but we both agreed we were ready for this," I reassured him.

"Okay..." He sighed, before his eyes bulged out. "You haven't knocked her up, have you?!" He yelled suddenly.

"No, definitely not, sir." I said, trying not to laugh. If only Charlie knew how impossible that would be... **(AN:LOL)**

"Good," He sighed. "If Renee and I hadn't had Bella so soon, maybe we would still be together..." He smiled sadly, and his thoughts were reminiscent of Bella's mother. I felt sorry for him then, he truly loved Renee.

"We wouldn't sir, my family have always been very old-fashioned..." I trailed off. I _used_ to be old-fashioned, till I met Bella...

Charlie laughed. "Okay, kid," He chortled. Weird man.

Soon after, it was time to go. Believe it or not, I was glad that they had invited me over. They weren't all that hospitable, but I was on quite good terms with a few. Seth, definitely. In the times when I wasn't talking to Charlie or Jacob, I was having a laugh with Seth. We pulled pranks on Charlie and Billy, though I'm sure Billy knew it was us. Charlie, on the other hand, from the amounts of times his water bottle had fallen over, his catches disappearing, I'm sure he'll think there is a ghost in La Push. Jacob and I talked a lot, too. He mostly wanted to know about Bella, and life since she'd been changed. For a laugh, I started sharing anecdotes with him, from times before he was born. It pissed him off a considerable amount, so it was worth it.

Embry, the one that had asked about fish having blood came and asked me about my lifestyle a lot. I answered as honestly as possible, without making it seem like a ravenous, disgusting way to live. He was fascinated beyond belief. We then talked about what it was like for him, exploding into a poodle when he got angry. That got me a mouthful from him. "If anything, we're like _huskies! _Or... _wolves!_ We're wolves! Not poodles!" Charlie looked around at him with concern, but said nothing.

Surprisingly, it was a good day. After getting back to Charlie's house, I started to drive home. When I got there, Alice and Jasper were in the main room. Alice was flicking through a magazine, while Jasper was reading a book.

"Alice? Where is everyone else?" I frowned.

"Upstairs, they'll tell you in a minute." We sat in silence for another few minutes; I didn't want to disturb Alice during wedding planning, the time when she was most violent. Suddenly, she had a vision, but it was too quick for me to see it in her head, all I saw was her blank face, and then she was back. She stared around her, wide eyed, and threw the magazine on the floor. "Oh. My. God." She said. I looked into her mind, for any clues, but she was picturing to catalogue, nothing else could be heard.

"What is it, Alice?" I asked, worrying. She shook her head slowly, as though she barely acknowledged my question. "Alice?" She shook her head again.

"I... I can't believe it! It's not possible!" Suddenly, Bella came downstairs. Alice's eyes darted to the door, in anticipation. The door opened and Bella walked through, a lop-sided smile on her face. Alice ran up to her, and hugged her tightly. "Bella," She breathed. Then, she turned to look at me and Jasper. "Edward, Bella has something to-" Worry shot across Bella's face, and a second later she and Alice had disappeared.

"Wonder what that's all about?" Jasper said, looking at the door. I could tell they were out in the garden, whispering. This was something Bella didn't want me to know. I knew it was wrong to do it, and I tried not to; but I couldn't help but eavesdrop into part of Alice's thoughts. She was still picturing the catalogue, as a block for me, but some sentences slipped through, and I heard them. "_Alice Cullen, do you _really_ want Edward to know about this so soon, when it still seems dangerous?"_ Bella asked her. I didn't see what Alice said, but she was trying desperately to find a loophole in Bella's plans. _"I can't tell him, not until I know everything will be alright,"_ Bella said sadly. I think my brain just died. What could she not tell me? Why, because it was dangerous? What was dangerous? Why was she in danger?

_"That is cool, though kinda scary," _Alice said. _"I'm so sorry though, Bella."_ She whispered. _This will kill Edward,_ she thought sadly. After a few more minutes, they were back. I tried to hide my insanity at the secrecy, and I think it worked. Expect from Jasper, of course, but I think he would feel the same way. They came back in. I knew I wouldn't be told now, but I couldn't let them know I knew that.

"What were you saying before, Alice?" I asked, trying not to sound urgent. They would tell me when they were ready. What if that was too late?

"Oh, um... Bella and I are... giving Jasper a makeover!" She smiled, though she knew she'd slipped up. I knew something was wrong. _I'm sorry Edward. Please, let Bella tell you in her own time._ She thought sadly, before her thoughts turned happy; at last, she had a reason to give Jasper a makeover. Panic and annoyance filled the room; he knew he couldn't get out of it.

"Oh, no Alice! No!" He pleaded, but it was too late.

"Not a girly one, you'll look like a guy this time, only with more makeup on; like a film-star or a rockstar." She grabbed his and Bella's hand and pulled them out of the room. A second later, Bella reappeared, smiling.

"How was fishing?" She grinned.

"It was good, I guess," I said; who cared about fishing, what did she have to tell me?! I took Alice's advice though, Bella could tell me when she wanted. Not that I wouldn't be going insane with worry till then.

"No supernatural fights, I take it?"

"No, but they don't trust us... yet. There were wolves all around the lake." No need to mention they were fishing too, I didn't need to put them to shame.

"Did they tell you _why_ they wanted you to come?"

"Not exactly," I frowned. They did tell me, but the reason was basically they wanted to fight other vampires with us. Nice.

"So what about Charlie? Did you and him have a good conversation?"

"Of sorts... I'll tell you about it in the car,"

"The car? Where are we going?"

"I'm not sure yet, wherever." I smiled. Maybe she would tell me in the car, before suspense swallowed me once and for all. We got in the car, and for a second, Bella's face crumpled in sadness. Along the way, I stole glances at her, when she wasn't looking at me. Our hands were interlinked in the middle, but with her other hand, she kept fidgeting, pulling at her clothes, pushing invisible hair out of her face, scratching her knee. Something was definitely wrong. She didn't speak, and neither did I. Her mind was also blocked off to me. This was getting frightening.

**AN: Oooh, curveball! Edward knows... something :P Thought I would give his POV a go... Idk how it turned out...**

**Got good feedback for Nocturne! :D The story I was talking about a while back, yeah, you should read it :D xD **

**Thanks for reading, reviewing, whatever you did that made you awesome (: **

**Rachee (: x**


	29. Slip Up

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Twilight. _Wish_ being the key word. I don't. Nor do I own any other books I mentioned, though I wish I owned them too. x**

"Bella?" I could hear a wonderful, honey sweet voice in the hallways.

"Mm?" I replied. I was in his room, flicking through CDs. A second later he appeared.

"I couldn't find you for a while," He smiled, walking over to the bed. That might have had something to do with the fact I was avoiding him. Being around him made me feel so guilty for not being able to tell him what was going on, but I could never tell him, not yet. "What are you looking for?" He asked, looking at the discs I'd already sifted through.

"Something I like,"

"Oh," He smiled, tearing through me. How would he react? _Hey, Edward. You know how we're vampires, and vampires can't have kids? Well, we are, and it might kill me. _I couldn't even imagine his face. "Are you hiding something again?" He looked up at me, still smiling slightly, but the curiosity was burning straight through him. _Oh, crap._ Could he tell?

"Yep." I smiled, gathering the CDs up again, and putting them on the shelf again.

"Can I ask what?"

"No, you can't," I grinned, looking away. No doubt, he would try to dazzle the answer out of me. Two can play at that game. I decided to try and dazzle him into leaving it. To an extent, it worked. Though not exactly. He looked into my eyes for a few seconds, before leaning over and kissing me hungrily. I accepted, for a few seconds, and kissed him back, just as passionately. I couldn't let this carry on. I could see what would happen next, and I couldn't. There was no way to control my thought barrier if I got carried away with him. Or my illusions. And when I become human, I turn into full on pregnant woman, hormones and everything. I shuddered, and gently pushed him away. He looked hurt, and hard to resist. I did though; I just kept my eyes away from him.

"Bella?" He asked cautiously. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I grinned, still avoiding his gaze. He put a finger under my chin and raised my head to look into his eyes.

"Are you sure?" He breathed, his wonderful scent scattered all over my face.

"Yes," I smiled, trying hard to stay on earth.

"Good," He smiled, but frowned when he let go of me.

"Coming downstairs?" I said, grabbing his hand and pulling me with him. All the family was in the main room, Alice patted the chair beside her, and I went to sit next to her. Edward watched me go, then went to sit in the space beside Jasper.

"Oh, crap." Alice groaned after a few minutes silence.

"What?" Half the family jumped up, looking at her worriedly. Personally, I was worried too, but found it funny how Alice's reactions affected us all like this.

"Charlie noticed you didn't have a car, and is coming to talk to Carlisle and Esme, then give you a lift home." She said, eyes closed. Nearly everyone relaxed. Everyone except me, Alice, Carlisle and Esme. I would need to be human...

"What's wrong with that?" Emmett laughed loudly in disbelief, "Are we suddenly afraid of Charlie?"

"No... I just... I thought it was something else at first." She said. "He'll be here in five minutes," She directed that sentence at me.

"I'm going to go make sure my illusion is alright," I mumbled, walking away to the toilets.

"And I'll help you!" Alice followed me. In the bathroom, I stood in front of the mirror, taking in deep breaths. Alice was beside me in a flash. "Bella, it'll be okay. You weren't so bad last time," She smiled encouragingly. I had been testing my humanity out with only Carlisle and Alice at those weekly sessions Carlisle had decided upon. All the mood swings and hormones would gather when I was vampire, then when they could work on me they just exploded out. It wasn't exactly pleasant to be around me, apparently. I took another deep breath and changed. "See?" She smiled. It was _far_ too soon to judge.

"What if Charlie doesn't fall for it?" I gasped.

"One: he has before. Two: You are essentially human at the minute, how can he not believe you?"

"But, Alice!"

"What?"

"How can you be sure? I might slip," I challenged her.

"I know you, you'll be okay. Come on, we need to go back downstairs. Charlie will be here any minute."

"I don't want to go back downstairs, Alice," I sighed. "Can we just stay here? I'm so tired. I haven't slept in days."

"That's because you've been a vampire. Think of it as a sleepless vacation," She smiled encouragingly, and pulled on my hand.

"That's really patronizing, you know," I growled, and she dropped my hand.

"Do you want to go home, or not?"

"Not at all." I said simply.

"You have school tomorrow, Charlie wants you to go home." She said slowly. "You can be human as long as you want there, everything will be okay," She tried soothing me. I scowled at her, and got up to walk downstairs. Back downstairs, Alice informed everyone we only had a couple of minutes, and we had to get ready to act 'human'.

"Do we _ever_?" Emmett laughed. Everyone looked pointedly at the glass Rosalie had in her hand; it was full of a dark red liquid.

"Humans drink from glasses," She mumbled, chagrined, before walking into the kitchen to get rid of it.

"What was it?" I asked when she got back.

"Panther," She mumbled, still embarrassed.

"How?" As far as I knew, hunting was basically sinking your teeth in a vein and drinking the blood.

"Charlie!" Alice interjected in a singsong voice.

"Alice, I'm really thirsty," I groaned. She stared at me.

"Not vampire thirsty, right?"

"No, just thirsty. Can I have a smoothie?"

Her brow furrowed in thought, "We don't have any smoothies. Can't you get one at Charlie's when you get home?" I just stared at her. "Orange juice okay?" She said hopefully, grimacing slightly. I nodded, pouting slightly. I noticed that nearly everyone was looking at me then. Normally, Bella Swan doesn't demand things. I glared at the people in my line of sight, before going to sit down, not near any of them. Again, Edward looked hurt that I didn't go sit by him, but I couldn't.

"What's your problem?" I asked him, slight bit of sarcasm in my voice. I didn't register the words till they came out of my mouth. I instantly felt guilty, but couldn't say anything now to make it better. I heard a couple of gasps, and Edward just stared at me in shock.

"Ayy! Go Bella!" Laughed Emmett, just as Charlie rang the doorbell.

"I'll get it!" Alice chimed, running in to hand me my juice first. A second later, Charlie was walking in, handing Alice his soggy jacket, which she hung up, only for it to fall again.

"Ugh, terrible weather," He grumbled, before looking up and smiling at us all. "Hey, there."

"Hello, Mr. Swan." The rest of the family mumbled, but I just glared.

"Seriously, guys, it's Charlie." He insisted, maybe a little forcefully.

"Dad," I sighed, "I don't want to go home,"

"Bells, honey, you've got school tomorrow," He grinned, like I was an easily suppressed child. That just made me even angrier at him.

"Alice and Edward can take me to school. Actually, I don't even want to go. It's so repetitive, so boring here. When can we move?"

There, I said it blatantly. I knew Charlie would never want us to move from Forks –from him – but we would have to. And I knew I was just being petty; we can't move till I've finished high school, but I don't care. It has to be said. It _is_ boring in Forks. Alice ushered Charlie to sit next to me, and she sat on my other side, squeezing my hand urgently. I could practically hear her telling me to give it a rest; the rest of the family were staring, again. I wasn't being the Bella Swan they knew.

"Bella," Edward said, brow furrowed in confusion. "Wha-"

"Oh, what _now?_" I cut him off. I don't even know why. For some reason, he's in my bad books. Whatever he did, _he _knows what it is. The room went silent. Alice had a vice grip on my hand.

"Perhaps it would be best if you went home for a few days, Bella," She mumbled, sounding offended for her family. I wondered if it was faked, or if she thought I'd crossed the line. Had I just upset my best friend? Had I upset Edward, and the rest of the Cullens? Warm, stinging tears sprung to my eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Alice," I shook my head, disappointed in myself. I was strong; this shouldn't get the best of me. I'd acted so mean and irrational, they probably wouldn't forgive me. "Edward, I'm sorry. Was there something you still wanted to say?" I gave him my best impression of a smile, though it felt watery and miserable.

He cleared his throat, more shocked than insulted. He looked at a space on the cream rug with wide eyes, as though it was the most important thing. "Er… no, nothing." He shook his head, but didn't seem to stop at the necessary amount. It was like his head was loose from his neck, it just kept swinging from side to side. "Nothing," He repeated to himself quietly.

I blinked, and Niagara Falls flowed down from my eyes. "Just take me home, Charlie," I whispered. Ugh, I messed _everything_ up. "I am _so_ sorry, everyone." I swallowed hard, but the tears kept coming. "I'll see you later, Edward…_please_," I whispered the 'please' but I don't know if he heard. He stopped shaking his head, but was still staring at the rug. I wonder if he was embarrassed for me, or just horrified.

I don't know quite how it happened, but I got annoyed with Charlie, he was annoyed with me, and I began walking home in the rain. I'd got rid of the illusion, to think more logically, and to feel worse for what I'd done. Esme and Alice found me, and decided to accompany me home. I cried the whole way, but they kept telling me little anecdotes and silly, useless tales, and pretending nothing had happened back at the mansion. Alice broke the carelessness first. "Bella, that was not the best of situations, I think you'll agree," She started in a business-like nature. I nodded solemnly.

"Edward will be okay; he just got a… fright, that's all. He's not used to you being powerful, or angry." Esme tried to soothe me.

"Yes, well, anyway. What I was thinking was maybe a middle ground, as in a vampire that looks just like a normal you? Of course you could do that," She smiled.

"But Alice, when will I be human, then?"

"What, after today? Not again, I should think, why?"

"Uhm…" I put a hand to my stomach. "I don't want to be pregnant for the rest of my life,"

"Oops, oh yeah. Well, let it grow on your own time, when Edward – in fact, when _no one _– else is around, except me, Carlisle and Esme."

"But…"

"Oh, I don't know." She sighed at last, anticipating more questions or loopholes.

Esme pulled the two of us into a hug. "You'll get through this, we'll figure something out," She said, "Now come on, Charlie will be waiting on you."

They left me when I got home. I walked by Charlie without a word, and he didn't say anything. I don't know why he's so annoyed; maybe he and Edward made better progress fishing than I thought. Maybe it was just because I'd embarrassed him, or he was worried I was making a mistake with this engagement, after seeing me argue like that. I walked straight up to my room, where Edward was sitting on my bed, tossing a once unsolved Rubik's cube between his hands idly. He didn't notice me enter the room, which was a first, but not that unlikely, since he seemed very preoccupied with his thoughts. When he looked up, I could see he knew _something._ The mystery was rippling behind his eyes, almost in a confused anger and anxiety. There was a long moment where we both stayed absolutely still. He stopped juggling the multi-coloured cube, and I remained by the door. Not even his eyes moved from my face, calculating; trying to guess the answers he needed. When I moved to close the door, it was like I'd just committed some terrible faux pas. He stared at it now, and I could suddenly feel a horrible tingle of fear. There was nothing to be afraid of, not from Edward, but the trickling feeling wasn't something logical. It was just the look he had on his face, that's all. Sure, I was worried about the effects the truth would have on him, but that wasn't fear. He looked back at me again, right into my eyes. That was when I understood the strange feeling of dread – it wasn't my emotions, it was his. He was scared for me.

"We need to talk." Was all he said.

**AN: Okay,,,, I'm really sorry I haven't updated in MONTHS, but first I got writers block, then I started liking another story better, then the world of books got me. Seriously, I've read 8 books in the last week, and not small ones O_O Brisingr - read the Inheritance Cycle, c'est amazing :D The Gemma Doyle Trilogy - again, fantabulous, but I criedd :/ Vampire Diaries - 1st four are amazing, but I started on Nightfall, and now I'm trying to pretend that it doesn't exist :( And I'm waiting for my order of Evermore! And reading The Resistance && Stargazer! **

**Sorry, idk why you might want to hear all that, but I felt the need to recommend :P **

**Thankyouuu, so much for waiting so long, if you're reading this, or haven't bothered and just read the chapter, idm, you're great. Amazing. You're cheesy. And to me, that's a compliment :D The ultimate one xD**

**Rachee (:  
xxx**


End file.
